Just realized how much I alllow others to define who I am.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Far away
Posts: 1
Just realized how much I alllow others to define who I am.....
Time for a change... I feel like I am able to finally grasp the person in my heart and soul, that I have always wanted to be. How could I stand in the background for so long....worse yet..how could I shy away from my soul in fear of the thoughts of others.
I know drinking is NOT helping, I wake up depressed,humiliated, discouraged...yet I drink again.
I try not to judge, yet as days pass and temptation its thrust into my lap (AND i Willingly allow it...) I feel almost victim to my decisions(it's. just my excuse..) I become Almost hateful that the choice(his choice..and my submission) gets dumped into my lap DAILY....this is the story of HIS addiction....I want to stop, I want to be that person I know exists underneath...full of energy,life,hope and dreams. Where have I gone...all this time...?
Why do I allow this to happen. There is no excuse. I've set my cold turkey date...I Will stick to it. Life is too short to be lead by excuses.....
I know drinking is NOT helping, I wake up depressed,humiliated, discouraged...yet I drink again.
I try not to judge, yet as days pass and temptation its thrust into my lap (AND i Willingly allow it...) I feel almost victim to my decisions(it's. just my excuse..) I become Almost hateful that the choice(his choice..and my submission) gets dumped into my lap DAILY....this is the story of HIS addiction....I want to stop, I want to be that person I know exists underneath...full of energy,life,hope and dreams. Where have I gone...all this time...?
Why do I allow this to happen. There is no excuse. I've set my cold turkey date...I Will stick to it. Life is too short to be lead by excuses.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Panda, there will be people here that will talk with you about the person underneath. I think of drinking as "drinking on top of" the person and covering up something that is not working right. People that are like us don't have the luxury of stopping when we should. We didn't cover up the entire person though, I was still there and you are too. If you've decided to stop tonight (if I read you right), then don't go back to it, read and post some more; get rest; and come back.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
When my drinking turned me into a depressed woman
without joy ....I started to attend AA for my alcoholism.
Been working quite well for me...
Hope you will consider AA too.
When my drinking turned me into a depressed woman
without joy ....I started to attend AA for my alcoholism.
Been working quite well for me...
Hope you will consider AA too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome to SR Drunk Panda
I let others define me too, for a long time, even before I started drinking - one of the finest things recovery has bought me is the knowledge of who I am, and the courage to be that person
D
I let others define me too, for a long time, even before I started drinking - one of the finest things recovery has bought me is the knowledge of who I am, and the courage to be that person
D
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