Just realized how much I alllow others to define who I am.....
 

Time for a change... I feel like I am able to finally grasp the person in my heart and soul, that I have always wanted to be. How could I stand in the background for so long....worse yet..how could I shy away from my soul in fear of the thoughts of others.

I know drinking is NOT helping, I wake up depressed,humiliated, discouraged...yet I drink again.

I try not to judge, yet as days pass and temptation its thrust into my lap (AND i Willingly allow it...) I feel almost victim to my decisions(it's. just my excuse..) I become Almost hateful that the choice(his choice..and my submission) gets dumped into my lap DAILY....this is the story of HIS addiction....I want to stop, I want to be that person I know exists underneath...full of energy,life,hope and dreams. Where have I gone...all this time...?

Why do I allow this to happen. There is no excuse. I've set my cold turkey date...I Will stick to it. Life is too short to be lead by excuses.....

Welcome to SR.

Panda, there will be people here that will talk with you about the person underneath. I think of drinking as "drinking on top of" the person and covering up something that is not working right. People that are like us don't have the luxury of stopping when we should. We didn't cover up the entire person though, I was still there and you are too. If you've decided to stop tonight (if I read you right), then don't go back to it, read and post some more; get rest; and come back.

Welcome to our recovery community....:wave:

When my drinking turned me into a depressed woman
without joy ....I started to attend AA for my alcoholism.
Been working quite well for me...:)
Hope you will consider AA too.

Welcome to SR Drunk Panda :)

I let others define me too, for a long time, even before I started drinking - one of the finest things recovery has bought me is the knowledge of who I am, and the courage to be that person :)

D

thanks panda...just what I needed to hear

Welcome Panda! You have the key in your hand, now you just need to use it. Took me a lot of years to realize that the only person I was running from was myself.

Hi DrunkPanda,

You can find the real person you are by stopping drinking and looking within.

You can do this!

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. Living sober is so rewarding.:)