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elblanco 03-28-2010 03:56 PM

Help staying clean
 
hey everyone;

i recently decided that i need to stop using drugs and alcohol. i have bipolar disorder and i just can't take things anymore.

i'm having a hard time distancing myself from my current crowd of friends.

is it realistic to think that i can get and stay sober, and still keep some of my drug-using friends? i've always been shy and awkward and i don't think i have the strength to go it alone. i need friends to help me and i don't jhave anybody that doesn't use.

i'm scared and depressed......

Dee74 03-28-2010 04:01 PM

Hi ElBlanco

Welcome to SR

I tried for years to get clean, yet still stay in the same social circle of drinkers and druggers - it never worked for me.

I had to get out of that lifestyle to get better.

If you have real friends, they'll understand why you need to change - if they don't understand, could be they're not real friends.

D

murrill 03-28-2010 04:06 PM

Elblanco,
Congratulations on making a decision to change your life. I am an alcoholic, sober a number of years, and I have struggled with clinical depression. I can speak with some experience that alcohol & medication does not mix. I used to think that I would be a "normal" drinker if I could just get rid of the depression. Of course, what I did not see at the time was that I would never get out of the depression until I quit drinking.
By the end I was out of friends---drinkers & other wise. I entered treatment, and I decided to remain in the community where I went to treatment. I had been advised to change my playground & my playmates, so relocating made it easier. I became very active in AA, so by then all my friends were sober people. I'm not sure I could have done it otherwise. I am reasonably certain that I could not have done it alone, either, and fortunately I didn't have to. There are other 12-step programs--NA, for example--but they are not the only support groups. You might find others, but the 12 step programs are pretty widespread. Since you have a bipolar disorder (and I hope you are under the care of a physician), perhaps you could ask for a referral or go to an outpatient group. This is a good place to hang out, too.

Dime 03-28-2010 04:07 PM

I avoided anything connected to alcohol including old drinking friends. They never called.

Spawn 03-28-2010 04:14 PM


Originally Posted by elblanco (Post 2554288)
hey everyone;

i recently decided that i need to stop using drugs and alcohol. i have bipolar disorder and i just can't take things anymore.

i'm having a hard time distancing myself from my current crowd of friends.

is it realistic to think that i can get and stay sober, and still keep some of my drug-using friends? i've always been shy and awkward and i don't think i have the strength to go it alone. i need friends to help me and i don't jhave anybody that doesn't use.

i'm scared and depressed......

:welcome to the family

I would strongly recommend making new friends,....using friends are dangerous to recovery.

ghal 03-28-2010 09:44 PM

You will find out who your real friends when you get sober and do things that only involve sober friends(or Freinds that may drink/drug but don't need to). For example, I have many friends that drink that are still my friends, but the people I drank alcoholically with are not around anymore. If they ever call me and ask for help, I will be there faster than they can hang up the phone but I keep my connection with them digital if at all. When you get sober, you will find that you will not want to be around people using anymore. But more importantly, why are you thinking about something so far away? You need to stay sober for next 24 hours and everyday you wake up if you think being near those people might hurt your chances of being sober for 24 hours then you have your answer. Take ONE day at a time :)

least 03-29-2010 03:27 AM

Welcome to SR! :) I have little experience in the drinking/using-friends area, since I did my drinking home alone, but I do know that in order to succeed I had to make it my first priority and do 'whatever it takes' to stay sober. I wish you the best in your recovery.:)

Tazman53 03-29-2010 05:43 AM

2 things I would suggest from my experience staying sober.

1. See your Dr. & be totally honest about your drinking.

2. Go to some sort of face to face support group with a long term program of recovery.

I went to a Dr. who sent me to detox, detox suggested AA to us, I went to AA, & using the fellowship for support worked the program and remain happily sober today.

In regards to freinds, well I still have friends that are normal drinkers who rarely if ever drink around me and a ton of sober friends both in & outside of AA.

There are drinking/drugging friends & then there are real friends, quitting drinking & drugging & taught me the difference. I did not drop the drinking & drugging buddies, they dropped me & to be real honest I do not miss them a bit.

Anna 03-29-2010 06:35 AM

Hi and Welcome!

I could not be around people or places where alcohol was involved for a very long time. It was way too stressful. And, as months went by, my life really changed and I became involved with different people.

CarolD 03-29-2010 01:54 PM

Welcome....:wavey:

I found new non drinking friends in the rooms of AA.
Are you attending any recovery group?

BTW....about half of my AA circle is also Bi-Polar.
They all say their med;s are more effective now.

Glad to see a new member....:yup:


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