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Old 03-27-2010, 12:17 AM
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New Here, Hello Everyone!

Hi all,

I am so glad I found this site. My name is Amy, I'm 27, and I've been sober for 5 days after about ten years of heavy drinking. I've tried to quit before, many times, but never with much success. I feel that I am now ready to take on the challenge of sobriety. Without sobriety, I know that I will eventually kill myself with alcohol.

Before now, I believe I was in deep denial about how bad my problem actually was. I was waiting for a dramatic, obvious "rock bottom," and never quite found one. Sure, things got progressively worse as I started drinking more. I lost friends, jobs, and my dignity, but I told myself that at least I didn't burn my house down and I never drank in the mornings. I never got arrested, though I probably should have been. I never had to go to the hospital, though I probably should have on several occasions.

I had heard a lot of different things about alcoholism over the years, all false, but they were enough to keep me drinking because I believed that you couldn't be an alcoholic until you lost everything. Last week I realized I was finally getting really close to that "rock bottom" I had been measuring my own drinking against and it terrified me. I realized that alcohol has been the source of my most significant problems, and I am shocked at the lengths I went to to hide this from myself and others.

Over the past years, I have become more and more isolated, and less and less the person I know I truly am. At 5'4" and 130 lbs, I had been drinking 10-12 drinks every night. Recently I started engaging in some extremely dangerous behaviors, like mixing prescription drugs and alcohol, and last week I found myself actually considering prostitution to support my lifestyle. Last Sunday I came to and had what I guess was a moment of clarity, and I thank God for that. I've never been a believer but I realized that I should be dead by now, and I've come to believe that someone was watching over me during these rough times.

These last few days have been very difficult in terms of detoxing, but I think I'm over the hump now. Alcohol has robbed me of me, and I'm finally committed to fighting it. I've come to understand through my previous attempts at sobriety that this is not an easy process. It's actually a lot of work, who knew? I am looking forward to working to keep sobriety and my health my number one priority as I relearn life.

Looking forward to meeting all of you, and thanks for listening.
Amy.
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:29 AM
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Welcome, Amy! You've found a good place and you've taken the first steps in your recovery. Now that you're feeling better, do you have a plan? It seems to be crucial to devise a plan and work it. Keep posting,there's always someone to talk to.



T
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:35 AM
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Hi T, thanks! I'm working on a plan. This week I've been focusing on the first steps, journaling a lot, reading "Beyond Recovery," seeing friends, and starting to work on nursing my body back to health through nutrition, vitamins, sleep, and exercise. I'll also be attending church on Sunday for the first time in my adult life. If you have other suggestions I would be very grateful for them!
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:06 AM
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I'll just say welcome and that i have a very good friend in AA who is 26 and has been sober a year and has an amazing life now compared to being in a very similar situation to you a year ago...
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:17 AM
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Welcome to SR, Amy, you have found a great place for information and support! Not everyone has to hit a rock bottom to realize they have a problem!! How fortunate you are for recognizing an issue at an early age!! YOU can do this and live a happy, healthy, fulfilling life!!

I am looking forward to following your journey as mine only just begun 87 days ago!! It is worth it, YOU are worth it!!!
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:59 AM
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Hello Amy, I'm glad you decided to seek recovery. I too am 27 years old and I have to say that living my old lifestyle was just insane. It sounds like you didnt mix pills with alcohol for a long period of time which is good. I can attest that it will lead to insanity times two. I did the whole mixing sleeping pills with alcohol and there were just too many bad things that happened. I'm glad you found your way on here and utilize this forum as much as possible. I'm coming close to a month now and during my detox, I was literally on here all day. I just read all the posts and the stories and it provided a little peace and inspiration to go back to AA. One day at a time!
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Old 03-27-2010, 04:03 AM
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Welcome to SR and congrats on deciding to live sober while you're still quite young.
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Old 03-27-2010, 07:07 AM
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Hi Amy. I'm 28 and I'm only on Day 3, so I guess you and I had that "awakening" rather closely in time. The last couple of days have been a little (or maybe a lot) rough. Like you, I was about 10-12 drinks a day, and also like you, I've been keeping a journal. I feel it helps me sort through my thoughts if I put it to paper, because I kind of stop and think about things before I commit to writing them down. And when I stop, rather than allowing my brain to simply dart around all over the place, I find I can gather and interpret my thoughts much better than before.

I've gotten through the last 3 days by reading the posts on this board, talking to people, and attending AA meetings. I've been to 8 in 2 days. That may sound like a lot, but I'm really, really committed to defeating my alcoholism. It's devastated my girl, caused me to miss family functions, made me miss work...Just ridiculous things that no person should ever allow to happen. But I did. And at the meetings, nearly every time someone shares a story, I see some of myself in it. You hear this person speak about things they've done, and you think to yourself, "Holy crap! I've done that times 10!" And it's made me begin to see things in myself that I don't like, but realize I need to change.

Went to a meeting at 11 last night. Didn't want to go. It was chilly and windy outside, I was low on gas, but I went. And I heard some things that I really needed to hear. I also got a sponsor yesterday. After talking with several guys, he was the one with whom I was most comfortable, and we kind of discussed his outlook on the program and the 12 steps, and it was what I wanted. So I very much suggest that you check out some meetings. I've found that I enjoy the larger meetings because a)you don't stand out as much, and b)there's more people from whom you can hear and learn.

Best wishes as you begin your journey. I'm right behind ya.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:10 AM
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Welcome to our recovery community.....

I've not heard of the book you have..."Beyond Recovery'
Wondering if it's the 3rd that started with
"Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham
(my favorite "handbook" for alcoholism)
then came "Beyond The Influence" by Ketcham & ??
which I did not read.

Anyway....Yes! you too can win over alcohol and find a
healthier ....productive and positive future......

Glad you decided to join with us!
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:26 PM
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I am day 9 and really am committed. If you need anyone to talk to, I am here!
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:42 PM
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Amy, I envy you. If only I'd seen the light at 27. I went on for many more years - even though I knew I was too dependent on it. If you stop now you can avoid the inevitable from happening down the line. DUI's, ruined relationships, broken dreams, declining health.

It's great that you found your way here - you have a good attitude & determination. A new life awaits you.
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:14 PM
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thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:16 PM
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Welcome Amy. I have only been here a short time myself and have found the support and information of tremedous help.

In looking at your plan I notice many of the same things I am trying to do for myself. It's a process, but I am starting to see progress towards achieving health in both mind and body. I know you will too.
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Old 03-27-2010, 02:26 PM
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Hi Amy, a lot of great people here..With pearls of wisdom, an years of Experience of all this ALcoholism, an best ways to deal with it..Well worth hangin out an readin up on..
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:00 PM
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Thank you all so much for your kind words of support! Carol, the book is Beyond the Influence. Just got the title wrong. Looking forward to getting to know all of you on this journey!
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:52 PM
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Welcome to SR Amy
Sounds like you've sorted a lot of things out - look forward to seeing you around
D
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:11 PM
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Welcome to SR Amy !!! 5 days is good keep up the good work... I believe and you.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:36 PM
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Welcome Amy! You are very wise to know you need help, now. Many people (myself included) don't 'get' that until they are much older, and have lost much.

Glad you are here!
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:14 AM
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Hi Amy. Glad you are here and thanks for sharing.
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Old 03-28-2010, 10:33 AM
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Welcome to SR! This place has been such a comfort along the journey of recovery, I'm really glad you found us!
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