CarolD

tragicbeauty....
Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself

While you are waiting for a decision on treatment
you might find this link useful.....

Questions and Answers about DRA

CarolD

Glad you decided to join our April thread
Louise.....

3 days is a good beginning...Well done

topspin

Welcome to SR, ....... dreanik, ....... FRESHSTART, ........ tragicbeauty, ........and louiseO



Congratulations on deciding to stop drinking !

Something "Least " wrote me when I first got here makes even more sense now;..... that it's been several weeks without a drink. I always remember it though:


She wrote: Stopping now means eliminating that huge pile of risk from drinking. All the things that can happen WON'T happen if you stop now.

Somehow it was both encouraging and comforting at the same time.

Great folks around here !! I hope this site will help you like it has me.

Rev

Day 18 and still in it. I've been consumed with anxiety today. I got out in the yard and worked some of it off, but I still feel very worried about just about everything. It just kinda descends on me some days, and today is one of them. I don't feel tempted to drink, but I still want to escape. Slept alot today. I don't know if this is an aftereffect of quitting, or exacerbated by it, but it sucks.

Rev

CarolD

Rev....
Anxiety was not part of my drinking or recovery.
Sorry to know it is part of yours.

Depression was usual for me by the time I stopped
I was diagnosed with situational depression..
Mine began lifting about 2 weeks in
by 2 months of AA recovery....vvanished.

Perhaps checking with a doctor about anxiety
would be a wise move. We also have a forum
that you might find helpful.

Anxiety Disorders - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Congratulations on your progress ..
despite these additional difficulties.

Dee74

Rev

I was very anxious in the years before I started drinking, despite drinking bars dry and smoking vast quantities of dope, it stayed around, flaring up occasionally...so it was kinda a no brainer it returned with a vengeance on me when I got sober.

I think you're right it may often be connected to a desire to escape. God knows we fed that beast enough.

I'm glad you're handling it - I did much the same as you're doing....recognising it's a feeling, looking at it from a distance...trying not to let it overwhelm me.

Carol makes a great point tho - I did have the great benefit of seeing a counsellor too

D

Gwyntissel

Normal people have wine cellars, we have wine closets, LOL! I did that, too. I thought no one would know I was drinking because I hid the wine in my closet....like being drunk or passed out wasn't a clue.

Rev

I've already been diagnosed, actually. Depression and Anxiety. I take prozac, which helps, but it doesn't fix the whole thing. Alot of it is just upbringing (neurosis + high intelligence = pretty lousy mom), and I've been working through it for years. Thanks for the help, tho.

Rev

Rev

I remember telling my shrink that the only thing that really turned my anxiety off was a few beers. He gave me a script for clonezapam, which was great if I was SO anxious, that I needed to be unconscious. LOL. Otherwise, I stuck to drinking. I'm sure what happened with you is the same with me, tho: without alcohol, it's hitting back with a vengeance. Maybe now I'll learn how to actually COPE with it, rather than drowning it in beer.

Rev

Dee74

yeah - sometimes I cope better than others? LOL but I always cope, and sober with it - it was an important realisation for me

D

LaVallette

Welcome to all the other Aprillers (I think that sounds OK). Day 7 for me today, a whole week, w00t! Am having to change a lot of my preconceptions and ways of thinking about my alcoholism, rather than just "not drinking". Am slowly working through the Big Book. It's really comforting to know that there's heaps of folks on here who have gone through what I am currently experiencing and are there to give me advice and the benefit of their knowledge. It almost feels like a "safety net" if you will, and being the interwebs, there's ALWAYS someone here, or something to read and think about.

Dee74

(((Annette)))

D

bartender129

Hi folks,

Still here, still sober.

Trying out a different meeting tonight.

Anna

Annette,

I am so sorry you are going through this!


Rev,

I also self-medicated anxiety with alcohol. What a mess! Sober, the anxiety is still with me, but I have learned to live with it. One thing I learned is that emotions are just emotions. They are not 'me' and they don't control me.

Rev

Annette, my condolences to you, and sympathy. Congratulations on maintaining your sobriety through such a difficult time.

Anna, thanks. I thought I was the only one who saw emotions as part of my environment, and not myself. It's a zen-like test of one's attention skills to remember that when the thoughts start swirling, tho. I think I'm learning to stay grounded through it.

Rev

Fool

Hope everyone in the class of April 2010 is doing well. Gonna be 72 and sunny here today. Matches my new outlook.

I've been sober for 11 days today. I don't know about tomorrow, but today I feel absolutely great, and I am learning that today is what matters.

Like so many others, I have tried to quit abusing myself with alcohol many, many times before.

The longest I ever made it was 28 days a year or so ago (I've been drinking for 30 years). When I hit day 29 I'm going to be grinning all day long, I already know it.

Weird thing is, in the back of my mind, I always knew I was going to fail, and that it was just a matter of time before I talked myself into "You don't really have a problem, it's O.K. to drink in moderation. It's not like you are some kind of....Alcoholic!"

Then a month or so later I would be telling myself I need to quit again.

Rinse and repeat for a few decades.

Don't know why, but this time feels so different. I'm done. I win this time.

I think of my own personal addiction as a physical being, complete with it's own voice and desires. What it wants more than anything is to be fed.

I can never kill it, but I can take away all it's power, and keep it locked up in a cage where the disruptive little ****** belongs.

I can't tell you all how much inspiration and motivation I have found since I stumbled across this forum.

Thank each and every one of you. You are helping me to do something I did not think I was capable of.

Rev

Fool, I can totally relate. Today is Day 19 for me, and my last longest time was in February when I made it for 21 days (which was the longest in a year), so I'm looking forward to Sunday. Make sure to follow up on day 29 with a post so we can all grin along with you. Congrats on your 11 days!

Rev

scoob

Isn't it funny what we do to convince ourselves what we're doing is ok.

Last summer I always had a bottle of something in my closet. It was everyone else's fault for not letting me drink. Cuz I was totally ok, it was them being a stick up the *ss.

I agree with Least's quote. When I look back on my whole alcoholic family, I have a choice. I can be like my grandfather who quit in his 30's realizing he had the family curse, I can be like my dad in his 40's who got divorced over it, I could be like my dad in his 50's when his 2 daughters tell him if he doesn't let us take him to 7 day detox we can't see him anymore and I had to beg his boss to give him another chance and let him go through rehab.

If I really want to keep drinking, I already know what lies ahead of me. I'm better off quitting while i'm (somewhat) ahead.

kyb5

Starting day 7 and wondering if this is all worth it.

I hate the emotional roller coaster. Up yesterday, down today. And it only takes 1 little thing to send it spiraling down hill.

I think I'm obsessing and worrying more about not drinking than I was about needing to stop.

I don't know...........

scoob

You didn't become the drinker you were in only 7 days. It does take time, feeling raw feelings is a bit overwhelming, but take a deep breath, it doesn't last forever.