Old 03-23-2010, 04:44 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Just wanted to post something positive. Today was really good. I didn't have too bad of cravings!.. I know it probably won't be like this all the time but I need to enjoy it while its like this!

This weekend my husbands band is playing down home. Which means going to a bar (AHHH) with old friends (AHHHHH) and spending the weekend with out families (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Today is good. Today is good. Today is good....LOL
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Old 03-23-2010, 04:54 PM
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Immediate question: Do you HAVE to go?

And if you HAVE to go, do you have to stay the entire time?

I'm sure you WANT to go, but do you have to?

Just puttin' it out there - I couldn't be in or around bars or people I drank with for quite a while (more than 6 months, closer to a year) but that's me.

If you really have to go, just a suggestion...keep the phone numbers of anyone/everyone who's supporting you in your sobriety. Whenever you feel the urge to give in, they'll only be a call away. Best wishes.
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Old 03-23-2010, 04:59 PM
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I'm so glad today is a good day.

I couldn't have done what you are talking about doing. I found it way too stressful to be around alcohol. Do you have a plan?
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:05 PM
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Enjoy the good times. I too hope you have a plan in mind for staying sober in those situations.:ghug3
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:14 PM
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I'm with everyone else - don't think I could do it either. I'm a couple of months in, and I am still very choosy about my invites to bars. I seriously look at what the occasion is, which bar it is, and who I am going out with. Needless to say, I have only been out twice - once for a friend's birthday with people who I really trust, and once with a close friend who I really trust.

Would your husband be really offended if you left early and suddenly?
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Old 03-23-2010, 07:36 PM
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Do I have to go? Um, I fell like I do. I don't go very often when he plays because we live far away from friends and family and I usually don't have anyone to go, a babysitter costs a fortune. When he plays back home we have a sitter (my mom) and everyone comes out to see us. We come from a very small town. I often said when he plays there its like its our wedding I feel obligated to jump from table to table to say hi to people.

Do I want to go? Not really. I have no interest in the bar scene anymore, especially that one. Small town, nothing changes and it usually just ends up depressing me because the town is going through such harsh times. Very high percentage of unemployed.

I'm not really concerned with the alcohol there. I've gone before and haven't drank. But I'm definately WAY more comfortable when I do. I'm really reserved and quiet and feel like I fumble over my words all night when I'm sober.

I'm more concerned with being at my Mom's house with my familly. We're drinkers and everyone will really notice when I don't drink.
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Old 03-23-2010, 07:51 PM
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Charlotte, if you think you will be safe not to cave in to the idea of drinking...up to you. I understand why you would want to see your husband play. Can't really say much besides "Hang in there."
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Old 03-23-2010, 08:37 PM
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Go ask the Multivax
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I took an AA buddy introduced as "my new friend" with me to a party when I was new.
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Old 03-23-2010, 09:28 PM
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I'm newly sober...80+ days. I, too, live in a very small town. Everyone knows everyone and when I went out, my drink was poured before I walked in the door. I found it best for me to put myself in situations where alcohol was served. I didn't want to deprive myself socially, as it would not have worked for me. I find that with each new atmosphere and occasion, I have more fun and am more comfortable as a non-drinker. However, not drinking has let the whole town know that I am not drinking.

My mother (who I wholeheartedly loved and am the mirror image of) died as a result alcoholism two years ago. My brothers are alcoholics who still drink.; they support and encourage my decision 100%. And, I love my brothers. I have friends calling and asking how I stopped, as they want to stop drinking too.

I hope you can have fun this weekend and enjoy your time with your family. They might just envy you.
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Old 03-23-2010, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlotte2276 View Post
I'm more concerned with being at my Mom's house with my familly. We're drinkers and everyone will really notice when I don't drink.
Hmm. Family. Some might say 'just be honest with them.'
I'd caution against that. Everyone's feelings are different about how/when they expose their sobriety and to whom. Only you know what's best since only you know your own family dynamics and situation.

That said, re: the family and drinking...aside from saying that you're training for the Olympics or you're pregnant , maybe saying you're on antibiotics (cold, whatever) and can't drink might be an option.

It's bound to happen that people are going to offer you a drink (family or otherwise, along your sober journey) - it's happened to all of us. Here are some ideas:

How to Turn Down a Drink: 12 steps (with video) - wikiHow

All the best to you. It takes some getting used to, but it's worth it.
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