First Post
 

Hey, Y'all
I've been reading this forum for the past few months, so I figure that it's only fair for me to finally introduce myself.

I've been a "here and there" drinker since I was a teenager; no more than my peers. By my early twenties, I was a weekend drunk...I fit right in in a college town. By my thirties, I was drinking (ie: drunk) four or five days out of most weeks; this continued to progress, and my wide circles around the bowl got more and more narrow. I was laid off, and my depression/anxiety went sky high...and my drinking (to me) went epic...I virtually became a shut in...Brian Wilson had nothing on me.

The past three years, or so, my life has revolved, in one way or another, around getting booze, drinking booze or recovering from booze...my wife has been wonderful through it all...but, it's clear to me that I haven't been present...

The final straw, was not remembering much of New Years eve, after telling myself that I wouldn't get that faced again. We went to a friend's house, and I was drunk when we got there...and proceeded to stay drunk another day before saying, "Enough is enough."

I bought a box of Franzia's best and had my final drunk. During this time, I though long and hard and with the most self-honesty I can ever remember hitting myself with. Luckily, I didn't drink away my moment of clarity. And, after a week or so of hellacious withdrawals:

I'm forty now, and sober 80 days today....You guys have been, and continue to be a great help to me....thank you...

80 days is fantastic, welcome and congratulations. How are you feeling now compared to then?

Mostly relief. Not just the wearing down from the drinking itself, but from the lifestyle. Not having to think where I am on my store rotation...not having to use alcoholic math to figure out how many 12 ounce beers in a 12 pack of 16 ouncers and 2 forties....

Not having to drink....

I miss it...but I can't put my finger on why...pure addiction, I suppose.

Welcome to SR SixStringZen, congrats on 80 days, so what are you doing to stay sober?

Welcome and congratulations! 80 days! that's great! I'm also wondering what you're doing to stay sober. 24 days for me and I've made some changes to my daily routines to shake things up. The old routine without my wine would have been very depressing... there'd be a huge absence with nothing to fill it. How are you filling the space alcohol used to take?

Thank you, Tazman...

I've been attempting to study the problem...I dove in head first to reading up on alcoholism in everything that I could find. Reading recovery and relapse stories here, among other things.
I'm not in AA, but I read the Big Book cover to cover and listened to hours of AA speaker mp3's.
I think about it...I meditate on it...I do everything I can to remember how I felt in the jaws of the beast...and how easy it would be to do it again, tonight, today, right now, if I'm not vigilant...

Welcome to the family! :welcome congrats on your sober days. :)

Congratulations on your sober time.....:funjump:

Welcome to the sharing side of SR
:wavey:

That's great! Any means necessary, right? :)

Thank you, Carol...reading your stuff has been an inspiration to me...

Welcome!

It sounds like you're doing great and I hope you continue to find support here.

I am not an AA person either, but I spend time here every day, and I do work on my recovery every day. For me, it involves balance. I was like you, totally engrossed with alcohol in my life by the time I stopped drinking. It was absolutely exhausting and such a relief to finally just stop.

I am glad you have joined us on your recovery journey.

So am I....it's been a great help so far...thank you, Anna :)

Welcome, Zen
congratulation on 80 days!
I really enjoyed your share....and I am glad you found us:)

Thanks :)

It's hard to distill 15+ years of abuse into a sound bite, but I plan on being here for a long time, so there's plenty of time for that ;)

:c014:

Welcome SixString!

Never in my drinking days could I say this with any real conviction.

In recovery, anything is possible. Glad to have you with us. Awesome achievement on 80 days sober!

Glad you're here, six string...well done on 80 days!! :)

Welcome to SR SixStringZen :)
Congrats on your 80 days :)

D

3 Months today! 90 days may not sound like much to many....but to an addict....wow!
A non-addict looks at "90 days sober" and thinks to themselves, "Well, that's only about 3 or 4 times not drinking"....because, that's all they would have drank during that time period....

For me, 90 days, means I didn't get drunk 80-85 times....

I feel a little bit proud....

You should feel a lot proud, not a little! Congratulations on 90 awesome days! :nyc