Start of the process
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by julez 
I wish you the best in trying to control your drinking. I also really enjoyed the things you wrote in your initial post. I think you keep coming back to the forums because you are trying to convince yourself and us that you are ok and can control it. I'm certainly not trying to be confrontational, just giving my best answer to your question. take care.
I know I'm an alcoholic. That piece of self-analysis is not based on anything I've read here, or on any other forum, or in any book, or on anything I've been told by a doctor, or a friend, or a family member. No-one has told me I'm an alcoholic, or advised me to stop drinking, or go into treatment, or anything like that.
I don't keep coming back to the forums because I'm trying to convince myself that I'm ok and in control. If anything, it's almost the opposite.
The reason I keep coming back to the forums is because I know that I'm not ok.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Harry01854
Sort of like when you said;
"I haven't found the key yet, where is the key, I ask myself?"
I chuckled at that one in particular, but this last one really made me laugh. Not laughing at you my friend, laughing at myself for I once had the same ideas. I remember once thinking, well I really get wasted on Vodka, so I'll just drink beer during the week (Monday thru Thursday) and on the weekend I'll drink Vodka. My way of controlling my drinking. Also when you mentioned about instead of drinking every day I'll just drink 3 or 4 days a week. Funny,I tried the same thing, I got wasted on those 3 or 4 days and drank more than what I normally would have. That's a lie in a way, I never had any normally way of drinking. But you see what I mean. I totally identify with the way you drink.
Heck, to me, drinking thru a funnel was certainly different from my normal way, until it became my normal way.
Really enjoy your post though and a lot of the replies. All of it reminds me just why I can't drink in safety.
Thanks,
Harry
"I haven't found the key yet, where is the key, I ask myself?"
I chuckled at that one in particular, but this last one really made me laugh. Not laughing at you my friend, laughing at myself for I once had the same ideas. I remember once thinking, well I really get wasted on Vodka, so I'll just drink beer during the week (Monday thru Thursday) and on the weekend I'll drink Vodka. My way of controlling my drinking. Also when you mentioned about instead of drinking every day I'll just drink 3 or 4 days a week. Funny,I tried the same thing, I got wasted on those 3 or 4 days and drank more than what I normally would have. That's a lie in a way, I never had any normally way of drinking. But you see what I mean. I totally identify with the way you drink.
Heck, to me, drinking thru a funnel was certainly different from my normal way, until it became my normal way.
Really enjoy your post though and a lot of the replies. All of it reminds me just why I can't drink in safety.
Thanks,
Harry
So, with me, the brain-body connection clicked in as regards the hard-core stuff. Drink vodka - get sick. Drink whiskey - get sick. Message received - avoid vodka and whiskey.
Oddly enough, the old brain-body connection hasn't yet clicked in with regard to the lower grade, non-harmful alcoholic substances. Continue drinking beer - it seems to suit you. Ad lib to fail. Ad lib to depression, being late for work all the time, being tired all the time, having no energy even though you're cycling 100km a week, going to meetings and barely being able to comprehend what was being discussed, let alone providing your valued input, etc, etc.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lowell
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Sort of like a total ball of confusion maybe there Farrari? I can identify with that also. When you mention about going to meetings and not comprehending what was being discussed, are you talking business meetings or AA meetings?
Only if it is AA meetings then I can identify. But no matter, if it was AA or a business meeting, I would think either way it would be better to have a clear head so I could comprehend.
I know for me, going to AA meetings and I was in such a fog, I missed a lot of things being said that might have saved me a lot of misery. And if it is a business meeting, I would think having a clear head and comprehending what was going on, might save me my job.
I can only wish you the best in your endeavor and that you may come to a decision soon.
Harry
Only if it is AA meetings then I can identify. But no matter, if it was AA or a business meeting, I would think either way it would be better to have a clear head so I could comprehend.
I know for me, going to AA meetings and I was in such a fog, I missed a lot of things being said that might have saved me a lot of misery. And if it is a business meeting, I would think having a clear head and comprehending what was going on, might save me my job.
I can only wish you the best in your endeavor and that you may come to a decision soon.
Harry
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: London
Posts: 266
Ferrarri...
I am learning a lot with your posts. I have been there. HOwever, I have not been able to reach out at that stage. I am still struggling with the acceptance of the consequence of alcoholism.
I mean, I can accept I am an alcoholic now, but difficult to accept this is forever. So the idea of moderation in the future is strongly engrained in my brain... I have no advice. You got plenty. I understand what you mean (i think) but I guess what we think is 'accepting' that we are alcoholics is not real acceptance... It is a 50% denial... I am alcoholic today, will be fine tomorrow. Does not seem to work.
I am learning a lot with your posts. I have been there. HOwever, I have not been able to reach out at that stage. I am still struggling with the acceptance of the consequence of alcoholism.
I mean, I can accept I am an alcoholic now, but difficult to accept this is forever. So the idea of moderation in the future is strongly engrained in my brain... I have no advice. You got plenty. I understand what you mean (i think) but I guess what we think is 'accepting' that we are alcoholics is not real acceptance... It is a 50% denial... I am alcoholic today, will be fine tomorrow. Does not seem to work.
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Join Date: May 2009
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Just make sure that you don't drink 'just for today'. Keep it simple as they say. If you know you're an alkie as you say do then this is probably a good plan of action if you want your life to improve. If not then keep drinking. Guaranteed to not get any better but worse. Only if you're an alkie mindyou.
peace
peace
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