anxiety about sharing in meetings

Old 03-25-2010, 02:01 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 261
I also suffer from social anxiety. I have a fear of public speaking. I have shared a few times but only because they have called on me. When I'm sharing, my mind is all over the place and all I can concentrate on is all the people looking at me and what they are thinking of me. I know it's all in my head but that is what it is. I know in the past, social anxiety was one of the reasons why I started to drink. I used alcohol to get over social anxiety. If my sponsor were to put me in that position, it would probably trigger me to want to get loaded before speaking. However, maybe that is just me.
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Old 03-25-2010, 06:14 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Pinkcuda's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
First thing that comes to mind here is there's a difference between "Sharing at Meetings" and "Sharing with the Group"
I posted a couple weeks ago about the difference between "Groups" and "Meetings".
A "Group" is like family and soon you'll warm up to them and feel comfortable enough to share whatever you feel like sharing. A "Meeting" is just a bunch of people.
Don't believe me? Try being a "Member" of a meeting. You can't. You can only be a member of a "Group".
I do think that 3-4 months isn't long enough to form the bond though. It took me quite a while before I could read the traditions or promises without the anxiety. It was at least a year but I was in with a bad crowd that wasn't very encouraging. Even though I never felt like part of "That" Group, they were a group nonetheless. I have long since moved on to a group that I do feel like a member of. It makes all the difference in the world knowing that you are part of a group as opposed to being in a meeting.
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Old 03-25-2010, 06:51 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well as already stated, a sponsors primary purpose is to take a sponsee through the steps........PERIOD! Now if the sponsee seeks advice or guidance from thier sponsor that is okay.

I know guys who have in early sobrity wanted/needed firm guidance from a sponsor, I have seen others who simply needed the ES&H of a sponsor to go thru the steps, I have seen sponsors that are more then capable of helping both types of sponsees.

The one thing that no sponsor should be is a sponsee's boss!

rika I encourage you to be totally honest with your sponsor, tell her your feelings about sharing at this time, if she is understanding & backs off the pressure you may want to consider keeping her, but always keep in mind that you can swithch sponsors any time you wish, just check your motives for doing it, is it to get the heat off or because you seek more solid sponsorship?

BTW rika you may be able to teach your sponsor something, ask her to read "The Family Afterward". In it she will find the following:

But this does not mean that we disregard human
health measures. God has abundantly supplied this
world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners
of various kinds. Do not hesitated to take your
health problems to such persons. Most of them give
freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy
sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that
though God has wrought miracles among us, we
should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist.
Their services are often indispensable in treating a
newcomer and in following his case afterward.
Make sure she reads the last line in what I quoted about the newcomer, if she balks at that then getting a new sponsor may be in order.
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