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-   -   TOPIC: R U Aware Of What U R Doing? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/197145-topic-r-u-aware-what-u-r-doing.html)

aasharon90 03-20-2010 04:41 PM

TOPIC: R U Aware Of What U R Doing?
 
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like u here in SR I havent found it
necessary to pick up a drink of
"POISON" since 8-11-90.

For that and u I an truely grateful.

I was sharing with a co-worker
about the verbal and physical
abuse I sustained as a child at
the hands of my mom.

Recalling how she was way back
when. A Dr Jekel Mr Hyde personality.

In my gut i felt she knew exactly
what she was doing to me at that
time of my life.

A beautiful women made up and ugly
when undone.

I swore that if i had kids that i
would never hurt mine as I was.
And thank God I didnt.

Even tho i was under the enfluence
of alcohol for the first 4 and 6 yrs
of their life, i was always worried
and always on guard as to how
i disciplined them.

After i got sober in 1990 i worked
my AA program and incorperated
the steps in my everyday affairs
to the best of my ability.

Today they r grown and living
happy healthy lives and i hoped
they would.

Could i have said or done anything
differently back then id ask myself.

I dont know because what i did
and said was with everything
I had learned in life prior their
births.

I did the best i could with what
i had.

Could my mom have done anything
differently way back when she was
hurting me so? I cant answer because
she did what she could with me
with only the knowledge and
experience she aquired prior to
giving me birth.

For me today, all i do is share some
knowledge to the newcomer about
awareness of what they doing and
saying to their loved ones.

Do u know what u r saying or doing
while u r under the enfluence of
alcohol or drugs?

Are u hurting someone physically
or verbally?

Are u aware of ur actions?

Just remember when yrs catch
up with u down the road, u will
reflect back on the times u were
raising ur kids, being married, ur
jobs and how u acted or behaved
towards them.

We r so unaware of the hurt we
afflict on loves one until it is to
late.

Today u can arm urself with good
knowledge and wisdom thru the
principles and steps of recovery
guiding u along the way so ur
family members are not statistics
of bad behavior due to u being under
the enfluence.


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