least

You never know how much time you have until the minute you run out of it.


....sometimes because they're in a box in the ground...

wicked

least,
you said it all.

least

Thank you Wicked, but I just rephrased what others had said! (Pinkcuda in particular)

bg1971

I had what you'd call a 'high bottom,' still married, still had my job, hadn't pissed too many people off, not physically addicted, BUT I was miserable and didn't care if I died. I didn't want to die but just didn't care if I did. It's hard though, because I still sometimes wonder if I really needed to stop drinking. I know that I am so grateful that I stopped when I did because I didn't need to spend $20,000 on rehab and only needed AA for about 6 months to get me on my feet. My relationships at so much better than they were, I am able to work better with less effort, am in the best shape of my life, and just landed a new job with a huge bump in pay because it is so much easier now to work hard and get up early with no hangover.

Give it a try for at least a month -the alcohol will always still be there but if you even think you might have a problem then you do.

Spawn

That's easy,........do you want to hit that bottom where you have nothing?

I'm willing to bet you say no,..........so do what I do go to as many meetings as it takes and don't pick up,...."keep it simple" The point of AA is to raise the bottom for others.

Stayinfree

Many thanks to each and every one of you who posted.
I have been looking at the replies over the weekend and they all have something I can take from them.

I went to a different meeting last night to the usual ones I have been going to. I met again the lovely woman I met on my very first meeting, the one who gave me a big cuddle.

I asked her to sponsor me as I could no longer stay stopped on my own. She was a bit taken aback at first, but said she would be honoured to be my sponsor. She texted me after the meeting to thank me for asking her, saying I would be helping her as much as she will be helping me. I feel so happy!

I have to keep in daily contact with her. We have a similar story, so can relate well to each other.

I am going to do this.......I am 2 days sober and this time...I am going to stay sober. With help from my sponsor, my HP, and anything she asks me to do.

Thank you all...sorry for being so pathetic.

Blessings xxx

intention

This is encouraging to hear. Trust in your Higher Power and the process of the 12 Steps and let her help you .....as you help her.
Keep us posted on your progress.

least

I've been 'pathetic' more than I'd like to remember. Some of us take longer to 'get it' than others. Glad to hear about your sponsor and sober days. I'm glad you're reaching out.

Hevyn

Stayinfree - I'm just now reading this. It's all been said - an excellent question and terrific answers. There's nothing pathetic about someone reaching out for help. You were being honest, & I'm so glad you got great answers with no lecturing or judging.

I can't add anything - just my support. It sounds like you're ready - just needed that one more bit of convincing. If I'd waited for my bottom it would have been death - I lost everything but a place to live. I sometimes think the "bottom" talk isn't very helpful. Congratulations for wanting a new & healthy life.

Tazman53

What are you waiting for?

Do you want your bottom to be some innocents death due to putting off what you already know you need to do?

Possibly your death in an accident?

How many not yets should you have before it is time to quit?

Talk to the folks who have lost it all, ask them if before they lost it all how many times they thought the same way you are talking now?

RacerX

Hi Stayinfree!

I'm not sure if you realize this, but you've got a lot going for you.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but on the front of my 24 Hour chip reads, "To Thine Own Self Be True".

That's exactly what you did. You came on here and wrote a wonderful post about exactly where you were. I think that has to be the first rung on the ladder out of the abyss - be honest with yourself about WHERE you are and WHAT you are. You did exactly that.

Next, you went to a meeting and you got a sponsor that is of your same 'ilk', for lack of a better word. I'm in that same boat and I can tell you that my sponsor is a true gift from God. To have someone that knows not just what you are but how you think is a wonderful gift (even though you'll think otherwise at times!). You also mentioned that you are in daily contact with her - again, extremely important and so good to read that you are doing this.

Finally and most importantly, IMHO, is relying on your HP. I know that I have to have Him to keep me sober today, and He has yet to let me down as long as I turn it all over on a daily basis.

Please keep your chin up, Stayinfree, and remember that the climb can be hard at times but so worth it. Just remember that the only thing at the other end of the ladder is a hopeless abyss and I think you know how that story would end.

God Bless!!

RacerX

Toronto68

Stayin, I like it! Hope you will too, day by day.

Stayinfree

Tazman53 and anvilhead.

Maybe I'm just being extremely sensitive....2 days sober does that....and maybe you also both missed the post where I also said I had asked for a sponsor, because I cannot do it alone anymore?

I took both your posts to be quite angry and accusing towards me. Maybe you both never had feelings like I have....maybe you were able to identify you were an alcoholic and stop drinking, never to relapse?? I'm just glad you both aren't in the AA meeting's I go to...or maybe you would be a bit nicer to someone struggling with alcoholism on a face to face basis.

RacerX

Stayinfree,

This might be stating the obvious, but please remember that we are all wired differently (although us alcoholics have a few more wires in common than most people!). What I'm trying to say is that what motivates and inspires some people might be a huge insult and a deterent to others. Just remember that no matter how something comes across in here, rest assured that the motive is still one of kindness - wanting to see alcoholics get and remain sober.

If that doesn't work then I would encourage you to take the path that I've been taught in AA - take what sticks and leave the rest. Quick disclaimer on that quote, however. Before you leave something, make sure you aren't just dodging something that might hit a little too close to home.

Take care, stay sober, and know that you are among friends.

RacerX

Dee74

I'm glad you connected with some who'll be your sponsor, sf
and I agree with Racer too - clearly, we are all wired differently...

I don't always 'get' everyone else either, but I still have faith we're all coming from the same place of support and wanting the best for everyone here

D

least

Stayinfree, I don't believe anyone was wanting to be angry or accusing toward you. It's just that for some of us it was/is a life or death matter and we care very much about not losing you. And yes, emotions can be very fragile in early sobriety. Be kind to yourself and know that we care very much about your well being. (((hugs)))

Stayinfree

Okay.....I'm sorry then...it's me being oversensitive.
I shall try not to be so in future.
I am very gratefull for all the posts.
There are some wonderful insights and views.

Have a good day...I have to wash dishes at tonights meeting!

least

I love ya sweetie and want you to have a decent sober life. (((hugs)))

Dean62

Everyone has a certain tolerance pain and suffering. It's when I as an individual have had enough that I finally say, that was my bottom.

The real message here is that you don't need to find your bottom because that won't keep you sober. In other words. you will see your bottom after you have been sober for a while. But that will not keep you sober. Bottoms can be a part of the solution but are not even close to being the whole solution.

I think they are overrated because my bottom refuses to keep me sober today. The backward thinking here is that a bottom.....part of the problem.....is a part of the solution.

It isn't the solution. Forget about what your bottom may or may not be and put yourself into the solution.

AWOL

Stayinfree
Great to see you here and good luck on the road ahead. Just one day at a time.