Blogs


Notices

Stage 2 alcoholic

Old 03-21-2010, 12:42 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,310
Blog Entries: 32
How do I give it up...............When I've still got time
You never know how much time you have until the minute you run out of it.


People that wait for that drama that they have been told is a "Bottom" sometimes never find it.
....sometimes because they're in a box in the ground...
least is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010), wicked (03-21-2010)
Old 03-21-2010, 01:35 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
wicked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Blog Entries: 1
least,
you said it all.
wicked is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to wicked For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), least (03-21-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-21-2010, 01:39 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,310
Blog Entries: 32
Thank you Wicked, but I just rephrased what others had said! (Pinkcuda in particular)
least is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010), wicked (03-21-2010)
Old 03-21-2010, 02:22 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by Stayinfree View Post
Okay...what if you know you're an alcohlolic...but you've not yet reached THAT bottom...you don't want to reach it...you don't want to lose anything....but because you've not lost anything...part of your brain is saying....'you've still got time'...don't worry you're not there yet...And I go to AA meetings and listen to those who HAVE lost everything...BUT I'm not there yet......

I'm a late bloomer....and I know that I WILL get there......but 'I've still got time'................

How do I give it up...............When I've still got time

I had what you'd call a 'high bottom,' still married, still had my job, hadn't pissed too many people off, not physically addicted, BUT I was miserable and didn't care if I died. I didn't want to die but just didn't care if I did. It's hard though, because I still sometimes wonder if I really needed to stop drinking. I know that I am so grateful that I stopped when I did because I didn't need to spend $20,000 on rehab and only needed AA for about 6 months to get me on my feet. My relationships at so much better than they were, I am able to work better with less effort, am in the best shape of my life, and just landed a new job with a huge bump in pay because it is so much easier now to work hard and get up early with no hangover.

Give it a try for at least a month -the alcohol will always still be there but if you even think you might have a problem then you do.
bg1971 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to bg1971 For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), least (03-22-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-21-2010, 03:42 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Stayinfree View Post
Okay...what if you know you're an alcohlolic...but you've not yet reached THAT bottom...you don't want to reach it...you don't want to lose anything....but because you've not lost anything...part of your brain is saying....'you've still got time'...don't worry you're not there yet...And I go to AA meetings and listen to those who HAVE lost everything...BUT I'm not there yet......

I'm a late bloomer....and I know that I WILL get there......but 'I've still got time'................

How do I give it up...............When I've still got time

That's easy,........do you want to hit that bottom where you have nothing?

I'm willing to bet you say no,..........so do what I do go to as many meetings as it takes and don't pick up,...."keep it simple" The point of AA is to raise the bottom for others.
Spawn is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Spawn For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), least (03-22-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010), wicked (03-21-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 04:26 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Stayinfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 241
Many thanks to each and every one of you who posted.
I have been looking at the replies over the weekend and they all have something I can take from them.

I went to a different meeting last night to the usual ones I have been going to. I met again the lovely woman I met on my very first meeting, the one who gave me a big cuddle.

I asked her to sponsor me as I could no longer stay stopped on my own. She was a bit taken aback at first, but said she would be honoured to be my sponsor. She texted me after the meeting to thank me for asking her, saying I would be helping her as much as she will be helping me. I feel so happy!

I have to keep in daily contact with her. We have a similar story, so can relate well to each other.

I am going to do this.......I am 2 days sober and this time...I am going to stay sober. With help from my sponsor, my HP, and anything she asks me to do.

Thank you all...sorry for being so pathetic.

Blessings xxx
Stayinfree is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Stayinfree For This Useful Post:
Dean62 (03-23-2010), Dee74 (03-22-2010), Hevyn (03-22-2010), Kerbcrawler (03-22-2010), least (03-22-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Toronto68 (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 05:39 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by Stayinfree View Post
I asked her to sponsor me as I could no longer stay stopped on my own. She was a bit taken aback at first, but said she would be honoured to be my sponsor. She texted me after the meeting to thank me for asking her, saying I would be helping her as much as she will be helping me. I feel so happy!


This is encouraging to hear. Trust in your Higher Power and the process of the 12 Steps and let her help you .....as you help her.
Keep us posted on your progress.
intention is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to intention For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), Kerbcrawler (03-22-2010), least (03-22-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 05:42 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,310
Blog Entries: 32
sorry for being so pathetic.

I've been 'pathetic' more than I'd like to remember. Some of us take longer to 'get it' than others. Glad to hear about your sponsor and sober days. I'm glad you're reaching out.
least is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (03-22-2010), Kerbcrawler (03-22-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 05:58 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 48,253
Stayinfree - I'm just now reading this. It's all been said - an excellent question and terrific answers. There's nothing pathetic about someone reaching out for help. You were being honest, & I'm so glad you got great answers with no lecturing or judging.

I can't add anything - just my support. It sounds like you're ready - just needed that one more bit of convincing. If I'd waited for my bottom it would have been death - I lost everything but a place to live. I sometimes think the "bottom" talk isn't very helpful. Congratulations for wanting a new & healthy life.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
intention (03-22-2010), least (03-22-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 09:18 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Follow Directions!
 
Tazman53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
What are you waiting for?

Do you want your bottom to be some innocents death due to putting off what you already know you need to do?

Possibly your death in an accident?

How many not yets should you have before it is time to quit?

Talk to the folks who have lost it all, ask them if before they lost it all how many times they thought the same way you are talking now?
Tazman53 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Tazman53 For This Useful Post:
least (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 09:50 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
RacerX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Stayinfree View Post
Many thanks to each and every one of you who posted.
I have been looking at the replies over the weekend and they all have something I can take from them.

I went to a different meeting last night to the usual ones I have been going to. I met again the lovely woman I met on my very first meeting, the one who gave me a big cuddle.

I asked her to sponsor me as I could no longer stay stopped on my own. She was a bit taken aback at first, but said she would be honoured to be my sponsor. She texted me after the meeting to thank me for asking her, saying I would be helping her as much as she will be helping me. I feel so happy!

I have to keep in daily contact with her. We have a similar story, so can relate well to each other.

I am going to do this.......I am 2 days sober and this time...I am going to stay sober. With help from my sponsor, my HP, and anything she asks me to do.

Thank you all...sorry for being so pathetic.

Blessings xxx
Hi Stayinfree!

I'm not sure if you realize this, but you've got a lot going for you.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but on the front of my 24 Hour chip reads, "To Thine Own Self Be True".

That's exactly what you did. You came on here and wrote a wonderful post about exactly where you were. I think that has to be the first rung on the ladder out of the abyss - be honest with yourself about WHERE you are and WHAT you are. You did exactly that.

Next, you went to a meeting and you got a sponsor that is of your same 'ilk', for lack of a better word. I'm in that same boat and I can tell you that my sponsor is a true gift from God. To have someone that knows not just what you are but how you think is a wonderful gift (even though you'll think otherwise at times!). You also mentioned that you are in daily contact with her - again, extremely important and so good to read that you are doing this.

Finally and most importantly, IMHO, is relying on your HP. I know that I have to have Him to keep me sober today, and He has yet to let me down as long as I turn it all over on a daily basis.

Please keep your chin up, Stayinfree, and remember that the climb can be hard at times but so worth it. Just remember that the only thing at the other end of the ladder is a hopeless abyss and I think you know how that story would end.

God Bless!!

RacerX
RacerX is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to RacerX For This Useful Post:
least (03-22-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 12:59 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,585
Stayin, I like it! Hope you will too, day by day.
Toronto68 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Toronto68 For This Useful Post:
Stayinfree (03-22-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 02:21 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Stayinfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 241
Tazman53 and anvilhead.

Maybe I'm just being extremely sensitive....2 days sober does that....and maybe you also both missed the post where I also said I had asked for a sponsor, because I cannot do it alone anymore?

I took both your posts to be quite angry and accusing towards me. Maybe you both never had feelings like I have....maybe you were able to identify you were an alcoholic and stop drinking, never to relapse?? I'm just glad you both aren't in the AA meeting's I go to...or maybe you would be a bit nicer to someone struggling with alcoholism on a face to face basis.
Stayinfree is offline  
Old 03-22-2010, 04:05 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
 
RacerX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Stayinfree View Post
Tazman53 and anvilhead.

Maybe I'm just being extremely sensitive....2 days sober does that....and maybe you also both missed the post where I also said I had asked for a sponsor, because I cannot do it alone anymore?

I took both your posts to be quite angry and accusing towards me. Maybe you both never had feelings like I have....maybe you were able to identify you were an alcoholic and stop drinking, never to relapse?? I'm just glad you both aren't in the AA meeting's I go to...or maybe you would be a bit nicer to someone struggling with alcoholism on a face to face basis.
Stayinfree,

This might be stating the obvious, but please remember that we are all wired differently (although us alcoholics have a few more wires in common than most people!). What I'm trying to say is that what motivates and inspires some people might be a huge insult and a deterent to others. Just remember that no matter how something comes across in here, rest assured that the motive is still one of kindness - wanting to see alcoholics get and remain sober.

If that doesn't work then I would encourage you to take the path that I've been taught in AA - take what sticks and leave the rest. Quick disclaimer on that quote, however. Before you leave something, make sure you aren't just dodging something that might hit a little too close to home.

Take care, stay sober, and know that you are among friends.

RacerX
RacerX is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to RacerX For This Useful Post:
least (03-23-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-23-2010)
Old 03-22-2010, 04:27 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 203,962
Blog Entries: 1
I'm glad you connected with some who'll be your sponsor, sf
and I agree with Racer too - clearly, we are all wired differently...

I don't always 'get' everyone else either, but I still have faith we're all coming from the same place of support and wanting the best for everyone here

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Dean62 (03-23-2010), least (03-23-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), Stayinfree (03-23-2010)
Old 03-23-2010, 07:14 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,310
Blog Entries: 32
Stayinfree, I don't believe anyone was wanting to be angry or accusing toward you. It's just that for some of us it was/is a life or death matter and we care very much about not losing you. And yes, emotions can be very fragile in early sobriety. Be kind to yourself and know that we care very much about your well being. (((hugs)))
least is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-23-2010), Stayinfree (03-23-2010)
Old 03-23-2010, 07:24 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Stayinfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 241
Okay.....I'm sorry then...it's me being oversensitive.
I shall try not to be so in future.
I am very gratefull for all the posts.
There are some wonderful insights and views.

Have a good day...I have to wash dishes at tonights meeting!
Stayinfree is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Stayinfree For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-23-2010), intention (03-23-2010), least (03-23-2010), RacerX (03-23-2010)
Old 03-23-2010, 10:27 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,310
Blog Entries: 32
I love ya sweetie and want you to have a decent sober life. (((hugs)))
least is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Stayinfree (03-23-2010)
Old 03-23-2010, 11:11 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Adjusting my Sails
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Blog Entries: 5
Everyone has a certain tolerance pain and suffering. It's when I as an individual have had enough that I finally say, that was my bottom.

The real message here is that you don't need to find your bottom because that won't keep you sober. In other words. you will see your bottom after you have been sober for a while. But that will not keep you sober. Bottoms can be a part of the solution but are not even close to being the whole solution.

I think they are overrated because my bottom refuses to keep me sober today. The backward thinking here is that a bottom.....part of the problem.....is a part of the solution.

It isn't the solution. Forget about what your bottom may or may not be and put yourself into the solution.
Dean62 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dean62 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-23-2010), least (03-23-2010), LifeIs (04-02-2010), NEOMARXIST (03-23-2010), Stayinfree (03-23-2010)
Old 03-23-2010, 01:14 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
AWOL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Stayinfree
Great to see you here and good luck on the road ahead. Just one day at a time.
AWOL is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to AWOL For This Useful Post:
least (03-23-2010), Stayinfree (03-23-2010)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:38 AM.