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Why am I any different?

Old 03-20-2010, 01:30 PM
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Why am I any different?

Hi everyone! I am new here. I am the daughter of an Alcoholic and the sister of a Drug Addict.

Here is our story:

In 2008, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a very painful decline, he died in October 2008. I was pregnant at the time of his illness and was on bedrest due to preterm labor. All of the care fell on my mom and brother and from all accounts it was a horrible time for all of them. My mother had a slight drinking problem before but it just got out of control. My brother is a long time drug addict. Lortab and ambien are his drugs of choice. His drug abuse has been at an all time high since 2008. He has been hospitalized 3 times in the last 2 years for "siezures". He passes the ER drug test but they never test for lortab or ambien so he doesn't actually get the help he needs. He became a police officer in 2006. It was his dream job and he loved it but now he hasn't worked in more than 2 years and is in the process of being terminated.

My brother is 28 and is still living with my mom. She pays all of his bills and buys his drugs for him. The atmosphere in the home is nothing but toxic. They both blame each other for thier problems. The house is do dirty, I can't take my children to visit them. We are talking filthy.

I talk to my mother everyday but she never even asks about my 4 kids. She has only met my 18 month old 3 times. She actually thinks she is involved in thier life.

I don't know what else to say other than I am just so angry and scared. My mother was suppose to be a strong woman. Everyone always commented on the Johnson's being strong women. If she is not strong, then what does that say about me? Am I destined to be an addict like my mother and brother? Is there anything I can do to help them? I have lost my entire family to death and addiction.

I am sorry if this post offends anyone.

Tonja
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Old 03-20-2010, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by tcsahm4 View Post
Hi everyone! I am new here. I am the daughter of an Alcoholic and the sister of a Drug Addict.

Here is our story:

In 2008, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a very painful decline, he died in October 2008. I was pregnant at the time of his illness and was on bedrest due to preterm labor. All of the care fell on my mom and brother and from all accounts it was a horrible time for all of them. My mother had a slight drinking problem before but it just got out of control. My brother is a long time drug addict. Lortab and ambien are his drugs of choice. His drug abuse has been at an all time high since 2008. He has been hospitalized 3 times in the last 2 years for "siezures". He passes the ER drug test but they never test for lortab or ambien so he doesn't actually get the help he needs. He became a police officer in 2006. It was his dream job and he loved it but now he hasn't worked in more than 2 years and is in the process of being terminated.

My brother is 28 and is still living with my mom. She pays all of his bills and buys his drugs for him. The atmosphere in the home is nothing but toxic. They both blame each other for thier problems. The house is do dirty, I can't take my children to visit them. We are talking filthy.

I talk to my mother everyday but she never even asks about my 4 kids. She has only met my 18 month old 3 times. She actually thinks she is involved in thier life.

I don't know what else to say other than I am just so angry and scared. My mother was suppose to be a strong woman. Everyone always commented on the Johnson's being strong women. If she is not strong, then what does that say about me? Am I destined to be an addict like my mother and brother? Is there anything I can do to help them? I have lost my entire family to death and addiction.

I am sorry if this post offends anyone.

Tonja
Wow I'm so sorry for your hard-ships. Alcoholism and Addiction are serious and they do destroy lives. Do you have the same fate? Only if you start,...don't pick up and you won't have that fate. Sometimes the only help we can offer is to live by example. I know you can probably get better answers from the family support part of this site. You'll be in my prayers.
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Old 03-20-2010, 02:25 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm sorry for your situation.

Of course, you are not destined to be an addict. You may have a genetic predisposition, but being aware is a big thing. You can make choices in your life to avoid addiction.
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Old 03-20-2010, 02:36 PM
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Hi Tonja

I don't believe anyones destined to be an addict - forewarned is definitely forearmed in this case.

I'm sorry about your family. I know it's hard to stand by and watching those we love destroy themselves, but I also know as an alcoholic the desire for change has to come from within. The main think is to continue to take care of yourself and your children and keep those healthy boundaries.

Have you checked out our family and friends forums? there's lots of experience strength and hope from people in your situation there, as well as here

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

Welcome to SR!
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