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-   -   Alcoholic/addict friend just won a million dollars... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/196829-alcoholic-addict-friend-just-won-million-dollars.html)

getr345 03-15-2010 01:52 PM

Alcoholic/addict friend just won a million dollars...
 
And of course he has a gambling problem too.

This is something so fascinating to me, a friend (more of an acquaintance really but a man I have know for many years) has just won a million dollars on a scratch ticket. This is his first BIG win after many years of gambling. He has long been described by those close to him (the mother of his child and VERY responsible person for example) as somebody with gambling problem, an alcohol problem, and a drug problem. Now, what I am kinda wondering is what is that like for a gambling addict, to win the big one like that? What does it generally do to them? It must be like the ultimate shot of heroin to a heroin addict, or similar. Anyone have any experience with anything like this? What are gambling addicts like? How are they similar to alcoholics and addicts and how do they mix? I looked online for a good gambling forum but could not find one. My guess is that this will destroy him ultimately, that he will drink and drug more, gamble more, and actually turn into an insufferable SOB because before he has been known to be struggling in all aspects of his life, always under the thumb of disapproval, and not a very mature person at all. I imagine he thinks he is now finally in the driver seat so to speak and can call shots he never got to call before, financially and in other ways, like with people.

Thoughts opinions?

Kerbcrawler 03-15-2010 02:03 PM

:c029: am sure he will aquire a lot of new freinds/Aquaintences/hangers on, an he doesent want to give out his adress..Likely Aquire sack loads of Beggin letters...Sure would,nt wanna be in his shoes..Hope hes a happy life,:day6

least 03-15-2010 02:11 PM

I'd love to have that happen to me. I'm so sensible. I'd buy the house I've been renting for 21 years, give money to all my family members, support my favorite charities (local humane society, local battered womens' shelter), put the rest in the bank and live off the interest. No wild spending sprees for me. I do'nt want for much, only to be out of debt and comfortable.

Don't want a new house/car/furniture. Just want to own the house I live in and make sure my family is taken care of. My needs are simple and my wants are few.:)

Anna 03-15-2010 02:16 PM

It would be interesting to see what happens.

He may gamble away the money, but who knows. Maybe it turn out to be a positive thing in his life.

getr345 03-15-2010 02:18 PM

Yes but Least, in addition to being at minimum a problem drinker and a drug user with addict tendencies, this guy has a well known gambling problem. It's not like he bought one ticket one day out of the blue and he won and will never play again. He has spent thousands & thousands of dollars over many years playing lottery games and other gambling ventures. I think the psychology must be very different in that situation, don't you think? I have heard that winning the BIG one is actually one of the worst things that can happen to a gambling addict, rare though it may be, it happened to this guy.

getr345 03-15-2010 02:24 PM


Originally Posted by anvilhead (Post 2542518)
may be the best thing that ever happened to him......he may go down in flames, but he'll have a blast for awhile. i'd just wish him the best.

I hope you and Anna are right I really do. I adore the mother of his child as a true friend and he has a young child that needs a contributing father, and he has an opportunity now to change so many things in his life for the better but as we know people with these types of problems do not get better by osmosis, or overnight. In fact I have read that many lottery winners turn out to be lottery losers so to speak and rue the day they ever won the money in the first place.

augustwest 03-15-2010 07:09 PM

Oh brother. I wish this person all the best. If i had won a million bucks while in active addiction they might as well have parked a hearse in my driveway and waited. It wouldn't have taken long.

ElegantlyWasted 03-15-2010 07:36 PM

Without discipline (a real plan); you would be surprised how easy of is to blow through a mil. Just saw a stat that 60% of NBA players have a negative or zero net worth when they retire from the game. Assume you conservatively draw 4% yearly; that's only 40k per year. The instinct of an addict is instant gratification. I say it's gone within 2-3 years; 5 max. Hope I'm wrong. PS... Former stockbroker, addict during the late 90s tec boom.

Toronto68 03-15-2010 07:37 PM

Getr, I'm worried about the person, frankly. It would be a fairytale if he set it aside and got better and then lived happily ever after. Money and happiness in one hand....they're both so elusive for some people :)

yeahgr8 03-15-2010 07:41 PM

Well as a recovered compulsive gambler this would have been the thing, i think, that would have killed me...i remember sitting in a Hotel in UK with a lottery ticket, 5 of the numbers came up and then the 6th was going to be drawn and i remember saying please God don't let me win...i knew that if i won a million i would go through it and that would be it for me, how would i have come back from that lol

I wish him luck, maybe this big win might be his wake up call...odds are against it though, poor *******!

HumbleBee 03-15-2010 07:52 PM

Have you seen some of the real-life stories of people who've hit the lottery big time?

Not everyone's life was ruined, but from all those whose lives were, they all said the same thing:

"If you're not a happy, contented, balanced person before the money, you won't be after it either."

Some of those people didn't even have addiction problems.

IMO: money is spent on what your priorities are.

littlefish 03-16-2010 01:04 AM

If he has not acknowledged his drinking/addiction/gambling problems before, having what seems like an unlimited amount of money could be disastrous.

Tiredofdrugs 03-16-2010 02:50 AM

This million he just won would be a good reason to join the Betty Ford Clinic. He'd have enough to pay the bill and would gain a lot from it. Ever since Michael Jackson died as well as other celebrities, the leeches are being exposed one by one in their seedy lives. This is where money and drugs get you. Just watch the celebrity tabloids.

So your friend is going to hang onto this money for how long? Hopefully he donates a whole bunch to his daughter before he blows it. Time will tell.

Rusty Zipper 03-16-2010 02:55 AM

i hope aldo is reading this thread?

hey, i got an idea

Tazman53 03-16-2010 03:46 AM

I love gambling, but I am also cheap as the day is long, gambling is the one thing that I have been able to do in full control that I enjoy. Why I have not a clue, everything else seems to be more, More, MOre, MORe, & MORE!!!!!!

If I won a million I would sell the place I am in now & buy my retirement home with hard cold cash & then find another job with medical insurance & work with an ATTITUDE!!!

Just a bit of trivia, but the second 12 step program was Gamblers Anonymous which was started by a guy who found recovery in AA. Bill W. gave them permission to use the 12 steps as he did with all of the other 12 step programs out there today.

getr345 03-16-2010 04:27 AM

Some interesting replies so far thanks. I was thinking about it a lot last night and the word that kept coming into my head was "justified"....in the mind of this person, I have to imagine that this win justifies all the money ever spent, all the gambling, all the compulsion, everything.. like "look see, I won, it paid off"...it's all justified! "I was right to gamble, and you were all wrong to tell me not to, or that it wrong/stupid/problematic, because clearly it wasn't, after all...I won a million dollars!!" and that seems like a bad attitude to have to an addict or alcoholic, like imagine coming to believe that all your drugging or drinking was all justified because something good finally came out of it, how would you ever stop or see it as a problem if for example at the end of a real bad bender you somehow were awarded stock in the brewery?

Saphie 03-16-2010 04:38 AM

How many of us would say good-bye to sobriety if winning a million?
We have already admitted we have a problem and are powerless.
How would someone react who is still in denial?
If I'm honest, I don't know if I envy the guy or feel sorry for him.
I just wish him good luck and truly mean that.

Tazman53 03-16-2010 04:58 AM


If I'm honest, I don't know if I envy the guy or feel sorry for him.
Yep!

vegibean 03-16-2010 06:21 AM

getr, sounds like the ultimate recipe for DISASTER!!!!! I'm GLAD I don't know the guy. I think I'd want to shoot myself watching what I believe he's going to do with that it............what any addict would do with that amount of money, BLOW IT!!! :(


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