Please help me help my mum!!!!

Old 03-14-2010, 07:13 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Please help me help my mum!!!!

Hello Everyone

I am a daughter of an alcoholic, My mum has been drinking for the last 10 years but has got to the point where i am now extremley concerned for her life. She is British and living in the UK, but i have lived in the Dominican Republic for the last 6 years. Both her and her husband (my srep father) have just visited me and allthough i knew there was a problem, i didnt realize how bad things had got. Her husband is not a drinker, infact almost tee total but he has tried every approach there is. I feel he has been too soft, to which he agrees with.

I have discussed having her commited to a rehab centre, something i feel should have been done a long time ago. I know alot of her drinking is dealing with childhood abuse, but as i am her daughter she has not divulged all of it to me, but what i already know is really very upsetting.

I am hoping maybe someone can tell me if being forced into rehab can be successful or only if the addict themselves feels it is time to go.

Maybe someone here has a similar background and can say if they found help at a certain place or maybe what didnt help.

Any help and advice would be so very appreciated, I want my mum back and if something is not done now i know i will loose her forever. Please feel free to be brutally honest with me..should i butt out??...should i be soft with her or hard as a sledgehammer!!

Please help?!?!?!?!
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:39 PM
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I have never been to a Inpatient Rehabilitation Center myself, although I probably might be going here soon maybe.

I've basically done the AA Way and of course Narcotics Anonymous, but I use all sort of things like tapping, outdoors, but if you want you might suggest if this is possible maybe going with her to meetings for a few weeks everyday and than go from there. If she wants to stop than it will work, but if she doesn't want to stop, trust me there is really no one can do.

best wishes
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:44 PM
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Not sure how the laws work in the UK, but here in the States, you can't just force someone into rehab if they are over the age of 18. Even if you could, unless she wants to stop drinking, it's just a waste of time and money. It's difficult to watch those we love make bad decisions, but as long as she is an adult, she has the right to live her life the way she wants.
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Old 03-14-2010, 08:10 PM
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Welcome Trapezelady. I hope you will post on our "Friends and Families" forum - which is where people in your situation can find alot of help & suggestions. I know Al-Anon is very helpful for those trying to deal with a loved one's addictions - maybe you would benefit from attending meetings.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. As an alcoholic, I can tell you I had to be the one to reach out for help - I had to be fed up with the living hell my life had become. I drank for over 25 yrs. and I am finally done with it - so there is always hope.
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Old 03-14-2010, 08:34 PM
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Welcome to SR. As others have said, you will get a lot more answers on the friends and family forum....please try that spot as well.

We're glad you're here!
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