leec

Maybe because of the time change, maybe because my unconscious hours lately have been filled with exhausting dreams/nightmares, I just haven't been getting very good sleep lately.

I've recognized for a long time now that sleep is as critical to my health and well-being as food and water, maybe more so. When I don't get enough sleep, I quickly reach a level where I lose all control of my emotions during waking hours. My mind dwells on unpleasant thoughts more, and I am almost powerless to pull my attention away, which is the only way I know to survive thoughts that are destructive to me.

I have been so tired today, all day. Sunny warmer weather is coming tomorrow, and I am dreading it. I have zero desire to leave the house, see or be seen by anyone.

This is yet another day I am anxious to put behind me. This doesn't seem like the way life is supposed to be. I've had nothing to look forward to in my future since times I can't bear to think about, years ago in a life far away. I'm not really sure if I'm battling the urge to drink, the urge to kill myself, or if those are really one in the same.

But in any case today is my sober day 12. Yay me.

armaviva

"How dark it is before the dawn!...I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes."

I just read this from a story by an alcoholic struggling to recover & it struck a nerve with me... maybe you will find some comfort & reassurance in it.

Anna

Leec,

I definitely and absolutely understand how much a lack of sleep can affect your life. I have had insomnia all my life and when it is bad, depression sets in. My dr has told me that getting enough sleep is as important as eating well and exercising. It can also be extremely elusive.

Continue to try to take care of yourself. Try Sleepytime Tea, sometimes valerian works for people, B vitamins can help. Above all, have faith that you can sleep and that things will improve.

Luckyv2

I'm not laughing at ya cause I just mentioned this to someone even with the medications that I am on sometimes I am lucky to even get 3 hours or 5 hours sometimes I am up for 40 straight hours and I am sober LOL

So yeah someone once told me when your body gets tired enough you will sleep. I've found that to be true. So since I can't sleep I feel that my God wants me up doing something so I just act like its just another day.

You'll be OK my friend

leec

Thanks, all. I've always known I seem to need more sleep than the average person (10 hours is my nominal amount, which I rarely get), but on top of everything I had some really hard-hitting personal realizations today that really smacked me hard in the face.

armaviva

i hope you're feeling better.

Stayinfree

I hope you soon feel better. Maybe you could have a chat with your GP to see if there is anything else you can do to combat the tiredness.

Tiredness is probably my major relapse trigger. I too, need around 10 hours every night to function normally...always have! I make sure I get that now. I had to sit and carefully plan how I was gonna deal with the tiredness this time around.

Fingers crossed that you feel better soon!