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JasperFan 03-14-2010 06:41 AM

Failed again....
 
Managed ten days with no drinking but back on the binging again (2/3 times a week) in the last two weeks. Days off sick from work etc etc. I think it's time to find someone around me to tell that I have a problem and that's why I won't be drinking. Although I know it's ultimately my prerogative it's not working doing this on my own...

NellieM 03-14-2010 06:46 AM

what if you told someone around you that you have a problem and won't be drinking? Let the secret out, give yourself some accountability? You'll find lots of support here. Have you tried meetings? You have to do whatever it takes with no preconditions. Simple as that. Glad you came to the forums... welcome.

tyler 03-14-2010 07:17 AM

I know where you are coming from, I've been there myself for a long time. I was able to let go of the binging for the most part a few months ago, and have been completely sober a couple of weeks. Not a long time, but a start. Pot was my primary DOC and I've been clean from that for about 10 months, but that's another story.

For me, I think it's really come down the not just admitting, but truly believing that this behavior is really a problem. I never really suffered any consequences from my drinking, other than some hangovers, and I rarely even got those, even though I'd drain from 2/3 to a whole bottle of rum in an evening. I experimented with only "social drinking" but found that even though I had some control over it, it would almost always end up drinking more than I intended and would usually eventually end up binging again.

I'm not out of the woods by any means. I've got a long weekend coming up in a few weeks, where the booze will be flowing freely. I still haven't quite came up with a plan for how I'm going to deal with it.

It can be helpful to have someone to hold you accountable, but at the end of the day, you are the only person who can truly hold yourself accountable. It is nobody elses responsibility to call you out and it shouldn't be. That's not to say that reaching out for support is not a good idea. You've already done that here, face to face meeting may be helpful as well. But somehow you have to make the decision not to drink and stick to it. Nobody forces alcohol down your throat. Look at why you made that decision to drink those times and see if you can address those issues.

Like I said, I'm still a work in progress with the booze, I'm sure there are a lot of others with longer term sobriety who will offer their assistance as well. Wishing you all the best. Take care

NEOMARXIST 03-14-2010 07:40 AM

Maybe it's time to face the truth... that maybe you're an alcoholic.

It was a massive relief to me admitting and accepting this. This is fundamental to what keeps me sober. You will find if you don't admit and accept this, then work a recovery programme, you will be kept in the same depressing binge-stop-binge-stop cycle for the rest of your life. The drinking binges will get heavier, and your behaviour and moods during, more and more erratic and damaging.

Only you can choose when you want to get off the merry-go-round though. When you have had enough and only then.

augustwest 03-14-2010 08:05 AM

It's never worked out for me doing it on my own and lord knows i tried a myriad of ways and countless times. I had to fully admit that i had absolutely no control over my addiction once i put a substance into my body and come to the realization that i couldn't maintain abstinence in solitude. It was then that i entered the 12 step rooms and began to find a solution that has worked for many. It now works for me too. Whatever path you choose, i hope you find some help. It's been my experience and that of countless others that it always gets worse.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

ghostgirl 03-14-2010 08:09 AM

i think telling the people close to you is a good idea. you don't have to go into too much detail, if you don't want to. you can say that you're concerned about your health, and would like to make some changes and see how it goes. thats what i told people... and they understand. there are very few that actually know that i simply should not drink, period.

Horselover 03-14-2010 10:48 AM

I think you are making the right decision. Do you need to check out a face to face group also? Maybe having some phone numbers to call of people who have been there might help too. This just might be the time. Do NOT give up ever. You can do it.

fragrantrose 03-14-2010 01:13 PM

i am a binge cycle drinker as well with days off work as one of consequences. everyone is unique i know but for me every binge it was harder to recover and cravings WORSE when through that valley.
now have finally surrendered going to AA doing everthing i can TO STAY OFF MY POISON chocolate, soda,etc (usually health nut except for alcohol!?,where there is this strange blank spot) will do anything as they say "sick and tired of being sick and tired"
now by grace day 12

Dee74 03-14-2010 02:14 PM

hey JF :)

It really is a truism for us...nothing changes if nothing changes. If we want to stop drinking, and be happy about it, we have to change our lives - there's no way around that.

It can be as simple as telling our friends, or posting more here, or maybe joining a recovery group like AA...but you're right - we can't do it on our own...

Do whatever you think you need to to break the cycle JF - there's a lot of people with you here :)

D

coming_clean 03-14-2010 02:33 PM

i´m addiction sensitve....giving in to this will destroy me and everything that I hold dear...

admitting this, and truely accepting this made letting go my addictions a lot easier...

however i´m still fresh and not there quite yet...


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