TOPIC: How Angery Are You?
 

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a glass of
"POISON" since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.


Did you know......


If we were to live, we had to be
free of anger.

The grouch and the sudden rage
were not for us.

Anger is the dubious luxury of
normal men.........


but for us alcoholics it is poison.


I learned in early recovery that
anger and resentments could
kill me.

People in general would pizz me
off all the time. I saw faults in
almost everyone i encountered.

What made me so perfect that
I could take their inventory.

I wasnt perfect and yes i made lots
of mistakes and when i saw faults
in others then it was seeing the
same faults in myself.

So i stayed angery. Then the more
angry i got of people the more resent-
ful i became.

I continued learning thru my
program and working the steps
in my everyday affairs as to why
i was angry and resentful then
learned to let go so i wouldnt
kill myself of a slow death of
anger.


Today i dont have to live with
that extra weight of anger on
my shoulders. For that it has
been a freeing experience.

I'm not angry anymore, i used to be very angry all the time...practically speaking i still react the same to people and things that don't say or go my way but the time letting it affect me is less and less each time. If it is people i say a prayer as soon as i realise that it is affecting me, something like i pray for x to have health, wealth and hapiness if it be Your will...somthing like that and as soon as i say it the resentment goes...thats not to say if it is an ongoing situation that i might not have to keep doing this, as i had recently with a prospective job that i had to wait 6 weeks for to start even though i was told each week it would be next week?!

If it is a something that i think is not going right then i remind myself i am not in the driving seat anymore and pray for guidance...

Both extremely simple methods of dealing with resentments and anger but they do work, when someone first told me to do this i thought what BS but it works!

Then there is the serenity prayer, im not one for saying it over and over again, that doesn't work for me but understanding it as a logical thought process like 'can i change this', yes/no, ok then either accept i cant change it or if i can then what are my options, choose an option and change it or if it is something i feel cannot be changed at the moment then accept it...again simple and means i have a very short period of inner turmoil against days of angst and thoughts of escape vis alcohol...

All sounds great in theory but, for me, had to be put into practice before i really understood...

One more thing, everyone gets angry thats just a fact, IMO the worst thing to do is bottle it up which is what i thought i had to do...there is a massive difference between dealing with anger and pretending that it isn't there! So if i am angry about something, e.g. i dunno being over charged and the till person being rude i will tell that person in a mature way, 'i need to let you know that i am very angry about this situation and i want to try and resolve this in a calm manner and this is how i feel about what happened' you know stuff like that, again it works....

Ok last thing lol if i am angry and i think i was over the top then within 5 mins i know and i turn my ass around/pick up the phone and make an amend, i don't let it stew...how can i tell, well err on the side of caution and if i think i have been over the top then explain why i was angry at the very least...if i really don't know i would ring my sponsor...

thats it!

Most calm and chilled out I have ever been in my life.



peace out.

I live in a crowded city.
People annoy me on a daily basis with their rude behavior.
Fortunately this has nothing to do with whether I drink or not.

Wouldn't be long until this took me back to a drink. I don't find people annoy me like they used to anymore.

I find I am a lot LESS angry and more patient the last 3 weeks....being angry is a trigger for me...but I now realize I can easily use it as an excuse....on the whole I have found more patience and tolerance...i don't get all worked up over little things that I have no control over....this gives me a type of inner peace and the ability to just tune it out or walk away from it....i still have problems and don't run away from them, but I do not let these bother me to the point of extreme upset.

i am thinking things through for the most part...which is a new and pleasant option...being newly sober, i'm pleased with the change.

I often hear about not sweating
the big things in life but rather
watch out for the tiny small,
knitt pickin things. Those can
ruffle ur feather pretty quickly
if not armed with a strong program
of recovery.

At work I have someone that
definitely gets my feathers
ruffled and probably has no
idea that she does. Uggg..!

At our bakery we sell stuffed
biscuits, patty biscuits and
kolochy's all wrapped in a piece
of foil to keep warm.

Seems as tho this girl has a
need to open the wrapped
biscuits in search of the largest
one she wants.

That bothers me deeply cause
i wouldnt want someone to
open my biscuit before i buy it.

Seems as tho its not a big deal
to others as it is to me.

For one thing its WRONG and
not professional. In my book.

Sure i mentioned it but to no
avail, nothing was done.

I spotted her doing it again
this morning. Uggggg....

I see her do so many things
i disagree with what she
does that i can make a list. lol

Well....all i can do is let go
and place her in my HP hands
cause whatever she is doing
wrong will eventually catch
up with her.

Turning my head, ecknoring her,
pretending i dont see her isnt
making me feel any better. Ugggggggg...lol

No i wont drink over her for sure. :)

I try to keep my side of the street clean and not worry about others too much. I find that I am so much more self-aware since I have been in recovery. I really think through/reflect on my motives now and try to let God Orderly Direction sort everything else.

OMG OMG OMG Sharon you are a dear! Thank you so much, I needed this really bad. I really did your a blessing.

I've been trapped with Anger. Anger at myself basically, which when I am angry with me I tend to take it out on others which isn't a very good way to build a relationship, quite the opposite.

So I got a lesson about 7-10 days ago. Troubles still of my own making.

I made a amends that I felt the best to my ability and that is all I could do.

Resentment

You remember or seen this one Sharon?

Very good, and right on time!!

I guess living a life filled with anger and rage for so long (got sober at 50) that there is so much of it there I will be working on letting go of the anger which has been around since I was very young. For a long time, when I got angry, the object/trigger for it really wasn't the actual focus of my rage. The unfortunate object of my rage was simply the latest in a long line of things/people who, by no real fault of their own, found themselves on the wrong end of my anger because, I was just mad from long ago, living with enormous resentments (in the end I was resentful/angry/rageful with/at myself.).
So, I have done three fourth/fifth steps, getting the anger out, processing it. From that point on it is a matter of self-awareness, and help from others in the program, continuously processing the old and preventing any new resentments from taking root.

Yes, it is the little things which get us. Each little thing, by itself, may not be much but, over a period of time disregarding these "little" things, I am creating a collective monster which will find its' way out in a most irrational way. I have to process the old and prevent any new resentments/anger from growing. I can only accomplish this by working the steps and having a good program. If not, I'm setting the stage for a blow up. I may not drink/use but, I will certainly act out and do everything I used to do (less the drinking) going on an emotional dry bender.
Anger is an emotion. I cannot deny the fact. What I strive to achieve is advance warning of it coming, coupled with a plan of action when it arrives. Eventually, over time, the level of old anger has greatly diminished and i am far more aware of my triggers. The process works. One of my brothers told me there is a peace in me which he has never seen. I know this much, it is a relative thing. My anger from the past is barely there and my ability to deal with new anger is getting better all the time. From that, I can understand his observation although, i may not be aware of it myself, at the time.

Through the program of recovery, I am not as sensitive to the things which used to trigger my anger. I feel much better about me. There would be no "me", though, had "we" not become..... a "whole" person.


"Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves."
-Mitch Albom,

Thanks!!

:DA