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I'm new and scared of failure

Old 03-12-2010, 09:26 PM
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I'm new and scared of failure

Hi -so after watching Oprah today - while nursing a hangover, I am finally admitting that I have a serious problem. I did a couple on-line tests and it's true - I'm a high functioning alcoholic. I knew I had a problem for a while, yet I continue to drink. I feel so much guilt. I'm so scared of failing. I find myself, even as I type this, thinking...oh, I can still have a glass of wine or a beer here and there and be able to control it... just stop after one or two. But, I'm afraid I won't be able to. I'm afraid of the guilt I feel, over and over, after a night of drinking.
Anyway... day one complete. Wish me luck. I need support!

C
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Old 03-12-2010, 09:28 PM
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Welcome to Sober Recovery. There are lots of people here who will offer you support, advice and unconditional love. It's a great place to be. Congrats on your decision to start a new life. Take care.
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Old 03-12-2010, 09:32 PM
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It's not about the trying and failing -
it's about the failing to try.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 03-12-2010, 09:45 PM
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Find meetings. There is no greater therapy than being with people who feel/felt the same way you do.
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Old 03-12-2010, 10:14 PM
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Welcome to SR Reggie7, this forum is full of great people with tons of support. If I could do it all over again I would have gotten help much sooner. I'm approaching 8 weeks sober this Sunday after many years of abuse and I can feel your pain. Hang in there, stay positive and good things will come your way.
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Old 03-12-2010, 10:34 PM
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Welcome Reggie7 you've come to the right place! You'll find lots of good info and support here. Congrats on your decision.
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Old 03-12-2010, 10:36 PM
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Welcome to SR!

Congratulations on your decision to quit drinking. It isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. Read posts on here, check into some meetings, find what works for you and work it! You can do it!

Last edited by wichitalineman; 03-12-2010 at 10:37 PM. Reason: Abnormally huge typographical error. Edited for sanity of future readership.
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Old 03-12-2010, 11:35 PM
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It's a wise idea to have an honest talk with your doctor.
De toxing from alcohol is a medical issue.

Please read this link for info and some of our experiences

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Many of us are winning over alcohol...Yes! you can too!
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Old 03-12-2010, 11:57 PM
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Hi Reggie and welcome.

For me admitting I was an alcoholic was the first step. Until then I couldn't imagine I could ever be one because alcohol created an illusion that I was so very, very different to "alcoholics".

But knowledge of that problem was not enough for me to recover. I recovered using the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Why not try going to some meetings? Meeting other alcoholics face to face who know exactly how you feel is invaluable. They also can show you a solution to your problem.
Keep sharing here. This is a great support site.
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:16 AM
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Originally Posted by barb dwyer View Post
It's not about the trying and failing -
it's about the failing to try.

Welcome to SR!
That is the key to freedom! Never Give up or Give IN! You can o this, try focusing more on the positive about not failing, turn it over and keep a posting. We need ya here.
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:49 AM
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Reggie, I'm so glad you found SR. I got sober after finding this place. All the encouragement & love that was shared with me helped me quit after 25 yrs. I knew in my 20's I had a problem, but kept going - always thinking I would control it - that it was just a willpower issue. Once the first drink hits us, all bets are off. There is no control & no telling where we'll be led.

I found I was no longer alone after I came here. The same things I'd been through, everyone else had too. No one in my world had my problem, & I had begun to think it was just a character flaw. I had never been a bitter, angry person - yet drinking was turning me into one. The very thing I thought was making my life happier and carefree. It was so hard to admit I was slowly killing my spirit & destroying my health. Giving up the idea that I could ever have "a few" was hard for me, but the only way.

Congratulations on your decision to change and have a new life. You can do this!
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Old 03-13-2010, 07:01 AM
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Welcome to SR! And congrats on deciding to live sober. It's not easy, it takes some effort on your part, but it's really worth the effort. You CAN do this. Take it one day at a time and just don't drink today!
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Old 03-13-2010, 07:46 AM
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Reggie, I think I relate to that. I recognized there was something wrong for years, even though I didn't have a lot of dramatic incidents that stemmed from the drinking - and I drank over top of the recognition. I would take care of it later, always later. But it was a long period of just me and the alcohol, and I kept myself trapped in "there."

As you stay off the drinking, you might feel a more pronounced sense of guilt that comes over you during the first couple of weeks. I'm not a medical expert, but I think that is a common physical reaction to adapting to the absence of the drug. If that does happen, just remember it will get better. Don't be afraid to go to the doctor either to make sure everything is OK. Be satisfied with each day that goes by with no alcohol, they will pile up and this will increase your confidence in the new normal.

Lot of people feel much of what you feel and always have.
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:47 PM
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Reggie-

First of all, what Carol said.
Detoxing from alcohol is rough and it should be done under a doctor's supervision.
If you have been drinking heavily for a long time it may well be best done inpatient.

The fear of failure is a common one and completely understandable on top of being nothing to be ashamed of.

And even if you do slip while you are trying to stop that only means you have swerved on the road.
Not driven completely into a ditch.

You know you have a problem....what a huge first step!
Begin working to manage this problem and you will have joined the club with the highest membership on Earth.

This forum and others like it are great, but IMHO you also need to be in a room face to face with others struggling with addiction.
For that purpose AA meetings can hardly be beat.
I personally have some "philisophical differences" with AA but it still gave me the invaluable opportunity to be around friendly, attractive, funny, happy and healthy looking people who shared my addiction.

That experience alone was priceless and I will be forever in their debt for it.

I wish you all the best and has previously been said, you are SO not alone.
You have taken the first step and for many that is the hardest.
For many others, it is unfortunately impossible.

Stay on the path and you'll find that the scenery just gets better the farther you go.
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Reggie7 View Post
Hi -so after watching Oprah today - while nursing a hangover, I am finally admitting that I have a serious problem. I did a couple on-line tests and it's true - I'm a high functioning alcoholic. I knew I had a problem for a while, yet I continue to drink. I feel so much guilt. I'm so scared of failing. I find myself, even as I type this, thinking...oh, I can still have a glass of wine or a beer here and there and be able to control it... just stop after one or two. But, I'm afraid I won't be able to. I'm afraid of the guilt I feel, over and over, after a night of drinking.
Anyway... day one complete. Wish me luck. I need support!

C
If you feel you have "control" then possibly it has control over you. Try to get to an AA meeting and hang around sober people. Get some tel numbers ..when the urge comes give someone a call. Good luck and welcome
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Reggie7 View Post
Hi -so after watching Oprah today - while nursing a hangover, I am finally admitting that I have a serious problem. I did a couple on-line tests and it's true - I'm a high functioning alcoholic. I knew I had a problem for a while, yet I continue to drink. I feel so much guilt. I'm so scared of failing. I find myself, even as I type this, thinking...oh, I can still have a glass of wine or a beer here and there and be able to control it... just stop after one or two. But, I'm afraid I won't be able to. I'm afraid of the guilt I feel, over and over, after a night of drinking.
Anyway... day one complete. Wish me luck. I need support!

C
to the family
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:29 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us!
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Old 03-13-2010, 06:32 PM
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Welcome, C ~

I was the same as you - high functioning - always went to work, didn't lose my home, family - but alcoholism is progressive - all these "things" that I hadn't lost were all just "yets" waiting to happen.

What I did lose while I was drinking was alot - my self-esteem, pride, character, self-worth - it finally did me in.

The shame, the guilt - it was so unbearable that any fear of failure to stop drinking wasn't even an option - I had had enough.

I think we know when our own "enough" is and until that time comes, we'll try to rationalize, justify and defend why we think we can control it - this is especially true after the first weeks of sobriety when we (most people I think) begin to feel physically better.

I experienced 'anxiety' in early sobriety (not 'guilt' - never heard that one)but anxiety would be a normal reaction to your body re-adjusting to the lack of alcohol on your nervous system. Some people experience it, some don't.

Glad to have you here. You're in a great place for support. Check out other forums here on SR, post whenever you need to - talking (typing) out loud tends to relieve apprehensions/frustrations, etc.

Don't be afraid of failure - the only failure is in not trying.
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Old 03-13-2010, 06:42 PM
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Hey



I did the same kind of thing as you although I did have some thoughts that I could be alcoholic.

I did about 20 tests online to "make sure" what i was reading was true - and then denial crept in.

Try not to overload your mind with things, take it easy and each day as it comes - the rest falls into place.

But as others have mentioned, detoxing is something the professionals can help with.

If you think you might like to talk face to face with others, AA is a good place to start.

Keep posting and reading - I have learnt alot from here and got amazing support!

LH
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Old 03-14-2010, 11:44 AM
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Welcome Reggie and you can do this. I watch Oprah too, but I missed that episode. Don't get too far ahead of yourself in your thinking. The never again concept kept me drinking for many years and it still can freak me out if I am not in the right frame of mind. 24 hours is all you need to think about. SR will help you for sure.
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