tips for not slipping?
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1
tips for not slipping?
hi there,
ive made such a huge effort in the last two years to transform my life. it is fairly transformed but there are still big gaps i havent been able to fill. Namely that i realise i dont know how to have much fun wihtout drugs and alcohol, and being a shy person they helped me tremendously in interacting with people in the last 16 years or so.
i actively avoid all the places and most of the people i used to but my confidence hasnt really grown, so ive become rather reclusive and withdrawn/sometimes my life seems so boring, i was used to quick thrills and the exitement involved in the drug world.
i dont get many cravings to return to that life, but when they do come, i know that in that moment i could slip and probably wouldnt get out again until i was almost at the bottom of the barrell once again. I have always managed to maintain habits through dealing boyfriends, so time and time again its love or lust that starts me back......
today has been tough, i havent felt like this in a a long time. im so worryingly attracted in some moments to the life i once had, which pained me so much , but in some twisted moments seems so attractive. today it seems like the most interesting thing in the world to me,would be to go and find some person to hang out with who can support my addictive personality. its so easy to jump back into that world. that attractive world of drugs and alcohol and rich men that pay for it all. what can i tell myself in these moments?
ive made such a huge effort in the last two years to transform my life. it is fairly transformed but there are still big gaps i havent been able to fill. Namely that i realise i dont know how to have much fun wihtout drugs and alcohol, and being a shy person they helped me tremendously in interacting with people in the last 16 years or so.
i actively avoid all the places and most of the people i used to but my confidence hasnt really grown, so ive become rather reclusive and withdrawn/sometimes my life seems so boring, i was used to quick thrills and the exitement involved in the drug world.
i dont get many cravings to return to that life, but when they do come, i know that in that moment i could slip and probably wouldnt get out again until i was almost at the bottom of the barrell once again. I have always managed to maintain habits through dealing boyfriends, so time and time again its love or lust that starts me back......
today has been tough, i havent felt like this in a a long time. im so worryingly attracted in some moments to the life i once had, which pained me so much , but in some twisted moments seems so attractive. today it seems like the most interesting thing in the world to me,would be to go and find some person to hang out with who can support my addictive personality. its so easy to jump back into that world. that attractive world of drugs and alcohol and rich men that pay for it all. what can i tell myself in these moments?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery comunity ...
I found a great bunch of new friends
when I started going to AA.
We did all sorts of things of interest
ouside of meetings and we stayed sober together.
Perhaps that is something for you to consider?
Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
Please do continue to be healthy ...clean and sober.
I found a great bunch of new friends
when I started going to AA.
We did all sorts of things of interest
ouside of meetings and we stayed sober together.
Perhaps that is something for you to consider?
Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
Please do continue to be healthy ...clean and sober.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by narayani 
ive made such a huge effort in the last two years to transform my life. it is fairly transformed but there are still big gaps i havent been able to fill. Namely that i realise i dont know how to have much fun wihtout drugs and alcohol, and being a shy person they helped me tremendously in interacting with people in the last 16 years or so.
today has been tough, i havent felt like this in a a long time. im so worryingly attracted in some moments to the life i once had, which pained me so much , but in some twisted moments seems so attractive. today it seems like the most interesting thing in the world to me,would be to go and find some person to hang out with who can support my addictive personality. its so easy to jump back into that world. that attractive world of drugs and alcohol and rich men that pay for it all. what can i tell myself in these moments?
Hi, welcome to SR.
Perhaps have a look at your possible resentments against permanent and lasting changes to your lifestyle choices as you manage through your recovery. You'll find those resentments against change hidden within the fog of justifications you may have for being attracted to your old lifestyles in the name of having fun. You know it wasn't really fun, and yet the attraction persists. Examine that honestly.
Its no mystery that change brings some measure of pain to our recovery, and that hurt can easily turn to resentment and worse below are everyday awareness. Take a care towards your effort to be transparent to your wants and desires. Let not fear control your discovering a whole new life free from wanting the old lifestyles.
Best wishes.
RR
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