A public service announcement
If you don't add the fuel, you don't start your engine.
That makes sense to me.
Took me twenty years to get there and realise that tho. I was trying to control my drinking - not stop it.
Dee-
Thanks and well said. As mostly a listener (i.e. reader) in personality and on this site, I wanted to add my nod of approval. I suffered for 10 years of "controlled" using/drinking/harmful behaviors. It took until 11April08 to discover that to stay sober I had to STOP drinking! What an insight and revelation! This bit of knowledge for a mathematics PhD took 10 years, thousands of dollars, 3 rehabs, lost jobs, hurt spouse and children, and very low self-esteem.
Just Stop-K.I.S.S.
Intellectualizing - BAH
Thinking myself sober-- BAH
Outsmarting my addictions -- BAH
Don't Drink? -- Yeah!
Thanks again Dee,
/Gunslinger-Mark
That makes sense to me.
Took me twenty years to get there and realise that tho. I was trying to control my drinking - not stop it.
Dee-
Thanks and well said. As mostly a listener (i.e. reader) in personality and on this site, I wanted to add my nod of approval. I suffered for 10 years of "controlled" using/drinking/harmful behaviors. It took until 11April08 to discover that to stay sober I had to STOP drinking! What an insight and revelation! This bit of knowledge for a mathematics PhD took 10 years, thousands of dollars, 3 rehabs, lost jobs, hurt spouse and children, and very low self-esteem.
Just Stop-K.I.S.S.
Intellectualizing - BAH
Thinking myself sober-- BAH
Outsmarting my addictions -- BAH
Don't Drink? -- Yeah!
Thanks again Dee,
/Gunslinger-Mark
Feeling lonely, tired, sad, the weather is raining, but see what I am doing? yep focusing on all the crap and not thinking hey I have a nice 2 bedroom house for Chance and I to live in, I have food, a vehicle again, I've lived already longer than what the Doctor told me
So what do I do stay in self, nope had to come to the most active place that I knew of so Vic could get out of his own selfish, self-centered head. Thanks for being here and your honesty takes the cake!
:day2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 67
This post just hit home. Yesterday was day 75 for me and I went to a girls dinner last night with old friends and the wine was flowing. This is only the second social occasion I’ve attended since I quit drinking (although they all know I’ve quit.)
I started off feeling great and confident in my new sober skin but by the end of the evening those little doubts were surfacing - that maybe one day I can have a glass of wine and be a normal drinker, that I can be on the same mental plane as everyone else instead of being the stone cold sober one.
I actually didn’t even want to drink in the moment, it was just the idea of ‘maybe one day’. But it scares the crap out of me that I can start thinking that way so easily. I’m afraid that from those thoughts will come the actions that will lead me back to where I started 75 days ago. I am so grateful to wake up clear headed today on day 76 but the those doubts still lingered this morning so, like my normal morning routine, I came to SR to read posts for the positive reinforcement. I searched a random page number in the newcomers forum and found this thread. It was exactly what I needed and I just wanted to bump it up so others who may need it can read it too.
Dee, i know your original post was from a long time ago but the insights really knocked some sense into me. I’m on the right path for me and what is right for other people is irrelevant to what’s right for me. I will never, ever regret not drinking, the opposite cannot be said. So I just want to say a big thank you for sharing what you’ve learned. There is no doubt in my mind that I could not have gotten this far without SR and you are a huge part of that. You are helping people change their lives for the better, as your insights have certainly helped me on many an occasion during these 75 days. Thank you, thank you for doing what you do!!
And also, Hevyn, I really want to thank you too for your kindness. I love reading your posts because the kindness comes through and it has uplifted me in many moments when I’ve felt so low. Thank you!!
I started off feeling great and confident in my new sober skin but by the end of the evening those little doubts were surfacing - that maybe one day I can have a glass of wine and be a normal drinker, that I can be on the same mental plane as everyone else instead of being the stone cold sober one.
I actually didn’t even want to drink in the moment, it was just the idea of ‘maybe one day’. But it scares the crap out of me that I can start thinking that way so easily. I’m afraid that from those thoughts will come the actions that will lead me back to where I started 75 days ago. I am so grateful to wake up clear headed today on day 76 but the those doubts still lingered this morning so, like my normal morning routine, I came to SR to read posts for the positive reinforcement. I searched a random page number in the newcomers forum and found this thread. It was exactly what I needed and I just wanted to bump it up so others who may need it can read it too.
Dee, i know your original post was from a long time ago but the insights really knocked some sense into me. I’m on the right path for me and what is right for other people is irrelevant to what’s right for me. I will never, ever regret not drinking, the opposite cannot be said. So I just want to say a big thank you for sharing what you’ve learned. There is no doubt in my mind that I could not have gotten this far without SR and you are a huge part of that. You are helping people change their lives for the better, as your insights have certainly helped me on many an occasion during these 75 days. Thank you, thank you for doing what you do!!
And also, Hevyn, I really want to thank you too for your kindness. I love reading your posts because the kindness comes through and it has uplifted me in many moments when I’ve felt so low. Thank you!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 782
Love it..
Acceptance that is exactly what the difference is for me this 3d attempt. 100% accepting that I, want not, and can not drink again. It is a liberating decision to come to. I waste no energy anymore on thinking about it. I distance mysellf daily from alcohol with a buffer. I work on recovery daily. Connect with others in recovery here and other forums and NA. I have done SMART meetings on line and read just for today quotes and try to adapt my life around them.
sobriety is an opportunity to live a normal life. I love it.
Acceptance that is exactly what the difference is for me this 3d attempt. 100% accepting that I, want not, and can not drink again. It is a liberating decision to come to. I waste no energy anymore on thinking about it. I distance mysellf daily from alcohol with a buffer. I work on recovery daily. Connect with others in recovery here and other forums and NA. I have done SMART meetings on line and read just for today quotes and try to adapt my life around them.
sobriety is an opportunity to live a normal life. I love it.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I am glad this got bumped too - seems like a lot of posts lately about the original thought process Dee laid out so aptly.
And, as I just did on another thread, I'll quote something Sassy said:
"Anything less than “never” becomes an eventual relapse, because from day one you’re making it ok to drink again. Think this addiction isn’t too powerful to overcome a “maybe?” Think again."
If you're honest and there's any bit of "maybe" in your head...which might be hard to believe...this whole thing, LIFE, won't work.
Someone asked way above if Dee just stopped drinking and everything was cool. That question comes up a lot and I cannot echo my previous comments to this question enough - no. That's not how it happens. Things ultimately become SO much better - without question. A big reason for that is clarity. We make better decisions, deal with the good and bad in life better (or, at all)...we are able to find more good than bad, so much....it takes time, effort, faith (in the ability to stay sober and acceptance we can NEVER drink again, at a minimum) and...support from others.
Glad this discussion has resurfaced as a reminder that drinking is Russian Roulette for an alcoholic like me - so I don't play anymore.
And, as I just did on another thread, I'll quote something Sassy said:
"Anything less than “never” becomes an eventual relapse, because from day one you’re making it ok to drink again. Think this addiction isn’t too powerful to overcome a “maybe?” Think again."
If you're honest and there's any bit of "maybe" in your head...which might be hard to believe...this whole thing, LIFE, won't work.
Someone asked way above if Dee just stopped drinking and everything was cool. That question comes up a lot and I cannot echo my previous comments to this question enough - no. That's not how it happens. Things ultimately become SO much better - without question. A big reason for that is clarity. We make better decisions, deal with the good and bad in life better (or, at all)...we are able to find more good than bad, so much....it takes time, effort, faith (in the ability to stay sober and acceptance we can NEVER drink again, at a minimum) and...support from others.
Glad this discussion has resurfaced as a reminder that drinking is Russian Roulette for an alcoholic like me - so I don't play anymore.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 782
I am glad this got bumped too - seems like a lot of posts lately about the original thought process Dee laid out so aptly.
And, as I just did on another thread, I'll quote something Sassy said:
"Anything less than “never” becomes an eventual relapse, because from day one you’re making it ok to drink again. Think this addiction isn’t too powerful to overcome a “maybe?” Think again."
If you're honest and there's any bit of "maybe" in your head...which might be hard to believe...this whole thing, LIFE, won't work.
Someone asked way above if Dee just stopped drinking and everything was cool. That question comes up a lot and I cannot echo my previous comments to this question enough - no. That's not how it happens. Things ultimately become SO much better - without question. A big reason for that is clarity. We make better decisions, deal with the good and bad in life better (or, at all)...we are able to find more good than bad, so much....it takes time, effort, faith (in the ability to stay sober and acceptance we can NEVER drink again, at a minimum) and...support from others.
Glad this discussion has resurfaced as a reminder that drinking is Russian Roulette for an alcoholic like me - so I don't play anymore.
And, as I just did on another thread, I'll quote something Sassy said:
"Anything less than “never” becomes an eventual relapse, because from day one you’re making it ok to drink again. Think this addiction isn’t too powerful to overcome a “maybe?” Think again."
If you're honest and there's any bit of "maybe" in your head...which might be hard to believe...this whole thing, LIFE, won't work.
Someone asked way above if Dee just stopped drinking and everything was cool. That question comes up a lot and I cannot echo my previous comments to this question enough - no. That's not how it happens. Things ultimately become SO much better - without question. A big reason for that is clarity. We make better decisions, deal with the good and bad in life better (or, at all)...we are able to find more good than bad, so much....it takes time, effort, faith (in the ability to stay sober and acceptance we can NEVER drink again, at a minimum) and...support from others.
Glad this discussion has resurfaced as a reminder that drinking is Russian Roulette for an alcoholic like me - so I don't play anymore.
I love you August...You words are wise. This is exactly how I feel. There are no margins for a "maybe" or "perhaps" in my life anymore. Its simply drumming in a NEVER in your mind. Period. Simple yes but at the same time it requires a lot of daily work.
People think that just removing the bottle is the solution. I did twice and hence I'm here the 3d time. It didn't work. Removing the bottle is the tip of the iceberg.
You change as a person when sober. My whole life has changed. The people I hangout with, my lifestyle, even my ethics.
It is acceptance that has made this possible. I have 100% accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic and can NEVER drink again. It makes life a lot easier and uncomplicated. I embrace it.
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