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First week over... Shoulder to the wheel...

Old 02-28-2010, 04:48 PM
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First week over... Shoulder to the wheel...

Well, last drink was last Saturday morning (_Morning_? WTF!!?), Feb. 20th. I can keep food down w/o throwing it back up now :-) Drinking lots of fluids, trying to eat better, but I did notice I dropped a few lbs. as I am not drinking 1,000+ calories a day in alcohol (vodka). Sigh... 7 days. Sure doesn't sound like a big deal to a "normal" person, but for me (us?), it was abit of a struggle. I have read literally 100's of postings here over the past week, _all_ of them have helped me keep my resolve and stay on track. I am over most of the short term physical issues/symptoms (other than erratic sleep patterns, to be expected), but I suspect it will take me months or longer to get over the mental/emotional attachment I had with my "good friend" alcohol, who was always there for me and could numb my pain and hurt in a matter of minutes :-( (5-6 chugs out of a vodka bottle in 3-4 minutes and _all_ my pain, and hurt, and problems, drifted away and got small for at least a short time). I suppose I now begin the long journey of re-learning what it is like to try to enjoy life without having alcohol in my brain to push all my pleasure buttons after quite a few years of almost daily heavy drinking (only at home, never at outings, I was a solitary drinker). I have lost so much interest in things that were important to me in the past, I am hoping I can re-gain at least some of that. I am not expecting any short term miracles, from what I have read here, I understand it can be abit of a long path to re-discovery back to things and truths we knew and enjoyed before we became acoholics.

I am humbled to find so many here, just like me, trying to do what we know is the right thing to do... put our shoulder to the wheel, and do any Damn thing we have to do to get our priorities straight and sane again. I am committed, I am resolved; I just _cannot_ connot continue to carry on as I have been over the past many years. I will visit these forums almost daily and read and learn from others experiences.

I thank everyone here for your oh so positive and uplifting repsonses to my previous posts of last week, they were all _Very_ helpful and much appreciated! I thank each and every one of you here.

More to follow as I progress.
Thanks you all again, _SO_ glad I stumbled upon this site! Really, I mean that!

Peace,
...Mike
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Old 02-28-2010, 04:50 PM
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..not that hard,after all!!well done...Oz..
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Old 02-28-2010, 04:52 PM
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Well done, Mike.
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Old 02-28-2010, 04:53 PM
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Congratulations, Mike!

Hang in there. It just gets better and better!
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Old 02-28-2010, 05:19 PM
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Wow, super post Mike!

I'm really glad you're feeling better and doing well!
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Old 02-28-2010, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by BurningChrome View Post
I have lost so much interest in things that were important to me in the past, I am hoping I can re-gain at least some of that. I am not expecting any short term miracles, from what I have read here, I understand it can be abit of a long path to re-discovery back to things and truths we knew and enjoyed before we became acoholics.



Peace,
...Mike
Mike,

Sounds like you are off to a good start. What I found really important to me in staying sober and making a new life is to not wait and gain interest, but to go out and pursue my interests until they once again had meaning. Interests and activities are very important to me. Probably the thing that does more to keep me sober than anything is pursuing my interest in some level of fitness. Exercise has done more to aid my mental state and sober presence than anything. Work hard on taking care of yourself and pursuing those interests and you will do just fine. Remember that it just takes a drink to put you in the same shape you were last Saturday morning. If you are like me, that fact will never change no matter what else we do. Don't drink no matter what.

Gregg
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Old 02-28-2010, 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by totfit View Post
What I found really important to me in staying sober and making a new life is to not wait and gain interest, but to go out and pursue my interests until they once again had meaning. Interests and activities are very important to me.

Exercise has done more to aid my mental state and sober presence than anything.
I'll ditto that, especially the not waiting until the interest comes back... sometimes it means putting one foot in front of the other....

Mark
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Old 02-28-2010, 07:06 PM
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One week sober is a great start to a better life. :ghug3
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Old 02-28-2010, 07:12 PM
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Thanks for your post, Mike.

I totally get it when you said "...a vodka bottle in 3-4 minutes and _all_ my pain, and hurt, and problems, drifted away and got small for at least a short time..."

That was me as well. It was only after enough years of having my pain and problems still there and on top of it, massive hangovers and unbelievable self-loathing. My so-called "friend" (vodka too) didn't want to comfort me - it wanted me dead.

I can only hope that this recovery journey is long! I've got a second chance and I try to live every moment to its fullest. It's been the most awesome journey of my life. I hope the same for you.

Have you checked out any face-to-face places in your area where other people are sober? In my area, there are social, active groups for people in recovery.

SR is awesome - one on one time with other sober people is valuable too. Take care.
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Old 03-01-2010, 05:29 AM
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congrats on your first week Mike, your post mirrors mine with a lot of the same feelings and gratitude for everyone who has helped and supported me.

(there is a gratitude section where i post 2X a day too...these SR admins. think of everything)!
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Old 03-01-2010, 06:07 AM
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Awesome Mike. The feeling of accomplishment is awesome, isn't it? Embrace it, it is your new rock.
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Old 03-01-2010, 11:40 AM
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Amazing post Mike! I am looking forward to hearing more from you. Keep it going strong!!
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Old 03-01-2010, 12:06 PM
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Great post and you are an awesome addition to the SR family. Welcome!
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Old 03-01-2010, 04:27 PM
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Thanks again everyone for all of the messages of hope and confidence! I've had my low moments over the past week, and God knows I will have many more in the time to come, but I accept that for what it is... My animal brain with no sense of time nor any memory of the oh so bad times is duking it out with my human brain that knows better. My wife who is Korean (I am an American but lived in S. Korea for 7 years), so many times has said to me after a bender, in the most hurt voice you can imagine: "Yobo ["dear"], please, _just_ don't drink!!" (of course, she is not an alcoholic and has no idea if the struggle it is for me not to drink, for now at least), and it would just break my heart for the short term ir I did drink, that is until I drank again and numbed and self medicated myself. I am tired of hurting the person who loves me more than anything else in the world. I never missed a day of work or missed any bills, but no relationship can compete in the long term against the deep pleasure of drunkeness. The toughest time was Saturday when she worked part time during the day and I was off. Normally, I would have planned on being 3 sheets to the wind by the time she got home, but my tolerance being so high, I could hide it fairly well. This past Saturday, I was completely sober and I know she could tell a difference... I know it took me literally _years_ to get to this point and I know there is know magic bullit, so I am preparing for the long haul. As to previous post about exercise, I concur 100%. 6-8 months ago, I was doing an hour a day at high resistance on an exercise bike, 5 days a week and lifting light weights 2 times a week. I am easing back into it and riding an exercise bike 3-5 days a week, initially now for 30 minutes at abit lighter resistance. Over the next 30-45 days, I plan to ease that up to an hour a day again. I too find that when exercising regularly, it makes sticking to a diet (which includes NO empty alcohol calories) much, much easier. Also upped my vitamin intake including additional B complex vitamins.

All from me for here until maybe next weekend, but I _will_ be on these forums everyday for 1/2 an hour to and hour, reading every post I can get my hands on and trying to learn from others, what has worked and what has not worked and emulating behaviour patterms which I deem have worked the most for the most people.

Again, thank you everyone here for your unquestioning, non-judgemental, support, it has been, is, and will be, all greatly apprecatied and helpful!!

Peace,
..Mike
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Old 03-01-2010, 05:54 PM
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Mike you are an inspiration for me to get back to exercising with your resolve and determination....just look how far you have come in a short week? I look forward to reading your posts too.
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