Insights and Reflections from Dub- if you have time.....
 

Well I woke up at 4 as usual this morning and having my OJ (no alcohol in case you are wondering), and just wanted to reflect on the disease I have and share. For those that don't know me, I am a struggling alcoholic, kicked everything else a long time ago- couple of relapses on the other things but alcohol is my wall to break down, I dont crave any drugs ever- so that is under control in my mind. Now to the reflections:
1- I saw my daughter play her last high school basketball game last night- she has a 3.8 GPA and a scholarship to her colllege. (she is captain of cheer team and an amazing gymnast- we have a great relationship and I see a lot of me in her- however she gets completely pissed about any intoxicants and is as straight as you can get). I love her so much. She is beautiful.
2- I have a great job that pays well, and I am pretty good at it. However alcohol has had an effect on my work early in the day, even the amount I am driniking (now- it is 4-6 a day, beer, I dont drink liquor- dont like the taste- know thats weird for most).
3- I am addicted to alcohol- with the beer, I could drink 1000 if I didnt work every waking minute.
4- I love life and the beauty of the world, birds waking up at 5am, sunsets, the smell of natural beauty. I even like storms..they are beautiful if you ever see a big one.
5- Just wanted to say that, I sometimes wonder why I don't look at the great things I already have, and just quit this crap.....

Well I am going in full force this week, and detoxing, so just getting some things out of my head.
Love you all-
Dub

Sounds like you are seeing life with clearer eyes now. That's great, and something I can totally relate to. I spent the last 20 years viewing the world through a green haze of pot. Nothing excited me, but now it's like the whole world is in Technicolor. Glad you are doing better. Take care!!

[QUOTE=tyler;2528503]Sounds like you are seeing life with clearer eyes now. That's great, and something I can totally relate to. I spent the last 20 years viewing the world through a green haze of pot. Nothing excited me, but now it's like the whole world is in Technicolor. Glad you are doing better. Take care!![/QU

Thanks

congrats on your decision! i saw everything through an alcoholic haze almost every night for 25 years...the last 12 days for me, the big picture gets a bit more HD clear every day.

you cherish that relationship with your daughter and cultivate it...she will be so proud of you too.

thanks

You are detoxing this week? Do you have medical help or someone close to call for medical help if you need it? I wish you a safe and successful detox. After you detox, do you have a plan to stay sober? Wishing you the best.

Hope you can find what you're looking for Dub.

Peace And Love man x

After a long time of searching for the answer to this question, I found that it was just a fact that I couldn't give up even though I had a beautiful young child who relied on me to take care of him.

When I finally realised that, I was able to surrender to the fact that I am powerless over alcohol and then I found that the relief that I felt after that surrender was worth far more than all the answers and good feelings that I sought with the alcohol.

The 12 step program of AA removed my obession to drink alcohol.

If you can't find your answers, Dub, I hope you can surrender instead.

Take care with your detox.

(((dubs))))

This deserves more than I have time for just now, but it's great that you're waking up with gratitude in your heart! I'll write more when I have some time but did want to stop by and let you know I'm here for support.

So, I'll be back once I get my day under control!

Much love to you!

Lenina

Hope you're going with a supervised detox Dub.
Good luck - keep us updated :)

D

I'm excited for you and hope you'll be safe as you detox. It sounds like you're ready, and tired of the same old game. A new life awaits you, Dub - no more anxiety, remorse, or fear of the future. You can do this.

Stay in touch.

..I know,that you know....

..Hope it goes well..I love a *fighter*...Ozy