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New to this, Need help! I don't think I'm ready to quit!

Old 02-26-2010, 04:56 PM
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Unhappy New to this, Need help! I don't think I'm ready to quit!

Let me start off by giving some of my background. I'm 24, and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The Manic side is probably what gets me to drink, although I do drink when I'm depressed too. I also have bad back problems. I injured my tailbone in 02 and it still hurts to this day. It has also caused lower back pain in general (not just tailbone pain).

My reason for drinking are many. I want to escape my feelings (if I'm depressed) or My friends and I want to get together and have drinks, or I just want to get out of the house and have a good time (I'm a stay at home mom- so I'm home all day every day) or when I go to my sister in laws house, we always sit around, drink and barbeque. I feel better when I drink. I don't have the anxiety, fear, and awkardness around people when I drink. When I'm sober, I get very anxious around people, especially people I don't know, and I don't open up and act like myself around people that don't know me well. Drinking also eleviates my pain physically. I've taken all kinds of over the counter meds and prescription meds (vicodin) for it, but it does not go away. I also take a muscle relaxer and anti-inflammatory drug but it does not help. I guess the alcohol helps loosen the muscles, and takes my mind off of it.

Also - I started drinking and partying at 14. I got married at 18, and by 20 had my first child. I always felt that I had that partying out of me - because I did it every night when I was younger. I was ready to be a family person - stay at home most nights, etc. Now that I'm almost 25, it could be me acting out on years that I missed out on (being 21 and partying, being single, not tied down to anything, etc. I've been with my husband since I was 16. My drinking has only gotten out of control within the last year, I used to be able in control of it)


I don't drink excessively every day. But when I drink, I drink excessively. I usually stick to beer, but I can drink an 18 or 24 pack to myself. I would say on average, I drink 2-3 times a week. Mostly on weekends, but their are weekdays when I have the craving for it (maybe because I'm stressed out). I usually don't drink liquor, because I know liquor will get to me faster and have me throwing up or passed out within a couple hours (b/c of how much and how fast I drink)

The reason that made me realize I need to quit was because a couple weekends ago, after being at the bar, we went home, and I still wanted to drink. So I went to my friends house, stayed there all night, lost my keys to the truck, and had a friend take me home. My husband was so mad at me for losing my keys, and also, my son had a basketball game that morning, and since I didn't get home till 6 am, I passed out and missed the game. My friend came by, tried to wake me up, couldn't, and was worried for me. Needless to say my mom found out, and kind of had an "intervention" with me. They knew I liked to drink and that I when I do drink, I drink too much (even if its' just beer)

So I told my husband "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of being sick mentally (bipolar disorder is a bitch) and physically with pain and stomach problems (IBS) and I'm tired of getting so drunk that I don't care about anything and I just go out and do what I want to do. I have no limitations anymore when I'm drunk.

So I decided I was going to quit... but I was gonna do it just "one more time" to have that last "Hoo-rah". I drank a six pack on a tuesday at home, and thought about getting more, then I was like, no, just go to bed, its late. So thats what I did. Well, then I got to thinking "Maybe I can learn to teach myself when enough is enough, and knowing when to stop, or knowing how to avoid bad situations that get me into trouble". So my friend and I had drinks last Friday. I had 3 margaritas, she had one, then decided she didn't feel like drinking. I was kinda ticked because she knew I was trying to quit (and she was the one that came to my house that day to try to wake me up) and I told her "I thought you were going to drink with me, thats the only reason why I drank. Now I'm gonna end up going out and doing something stupid." Well when she left, I actually quit drinking, and went to bed! so I thought "hey, I'm doing great. I can do this!

Well, last Saturday, it happened again. I was going to my sister-in-laws for a birthday party, and bought a 12 pk for my husband and I, (since they always drink over there) and thought I can do this! We'll come here, stay for awhile, then go home. Well, once the party was over, we went to my nephews house (about 8 pm) and I was still drinking. at 10, my husband said, "Ok, lets go. Kids are tired, they need to get to bed." Well, at this point I was wasted, and said "Just leave me here, I'll get a ride home" He argued with me about it because he knew that I was going to get myself into bad situations as I usually do when I'm that drunk, but finally he left. I ended up stayin there till about 4 am, got a ride to another friends house so he could take me home (our house is 20 miles away from where we were). He said he would, then passed out, so I had to walk to my sister in laws house (this was 8:30 in the morning). Needless to say, when I finally got home, my sister in law called and yelled at me for hanging out with bad people, and saying I'm going to lose my husband, etc. I got very angry because with my bipolar disorder not in control right now, I've been going through a severe depression. I feel the correct way to intervene someone is by talking to them, not yelling at you and telling you what a horrible person you are. So since that Saturday/early Sunday, (last weekend) I havent drank since.

All week I havent had the urge to drink, but since its' Friday, thoughts start racing through my mind. Everyone is asking who's doing what, and Alcohol is pretty much involved anywhere I go at this point. My best friend (the one that tried to wake me up and intervened me) is the only place I can go and just hang out together without alcohol because she rarely drinks. Being a stay at home mom, I go stir crazy, and by the weekend, I just want to get out of the house and have fun.

Mentally, I don't think I can quit drinking. I'm not ready mentally. I still want to. You really have to want it to quit. The desire to drink to night is extreme. I wish I can learn to drink socially and in moderation like most people do, but I don't think I will ever be able to. People with bipolar disorder are prone to addiction, and it also makes it harder to quit because of the mood swings. I may be gung-ho one day and want to quit, then the next I don't want to. Then a few days later, I want to quit. I have no desire to quit. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I honestly cannot say that I will never drink again. I can't see my future being alcohol free.

AA Meetings- I went to one once when I was younger with my boyfriend who was court ordered to go. I drank excessively back then too, but I was young (17) and being at the AA meeting honestly made me want to drink. Just hearing people talk about alcohol and their past experience with it makes me want to drink. Talking about it now makes me want to drink.

I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do. Could I one day learn to only do it in safe environments and know when enough is enough (i.e. its 2 am, time to quit and go to bed) Because I fear if I fight it too long, I might relapse one day and go all out. Something has got to change however, because it is now affecting my family.


Sorry for the long post. Just trying to get everything out there and off my chest.
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Old 02-26-2010, 04:58 PM
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Could I possibly set limits for myself, like "ok, 1 or 2 am is cut off time, or I can only have 6 beers (12 is more likely a good limit for myself, since I usually drink way more) Another thing is I'm married, and going out without my husband and hanging out with male and female friends doesn't look good and really a married woman shouldn't be doing that. Girls night is ok, I know - but hanging out with other guys when my husband is not around is not good, I know that. Also when I eat I always quit drinking, cuz I don't feel like drinking anymore. Maybe thats something else I can learn to do - eat something when I've reached my limit. I don't know.

I should also add that its my depression/Mania that cause me to drink, its not drinking that causes my depression/mania. I've also made an appointment with the county mental health clinic to work on gettin my bipolar under control. I'm on meds for it now, but they don't seem to work well anymore)
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:17 PM
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Hi Brittny

I think you know already how the limiting goes - it might work for a night but then, if you're like me, you just drink to catch up next time you're out.

I drank for pain too - but you and I both know there are better less harmful ways of alleviating pain - and alcohol gets progressively less and less effective...not to mention the other dangers of drinking, blacking out and hanging with strange men.

But...if you don't have the desire to quit...you probably won't Brittny. It's the way it goes for most of us. But things do, and will get worse. I really hope you decide to do something sooner than later.

I hope you keep reading and posting here - maybe we can help you work out what you can do right now.

Welcome
D
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:19 PM
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I know bipolar sucks, I have it. But unfortunatley its a vicious circle. You drink cuz ur depressed, drinking makes you depressed, u drink when ur manic cuz u want to have a good time etc etc.

Welcome to SR, there are many many wonderful helpful people on here with advice and support a plenty. Keep strong and good luck! <3
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:28 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I think it's fairly common to drink to self-medicate mental illness. Years of struggling with depression/anxiety drove me to start drinking.

Honestly, I think trying to limit yourself won't work. I suspect everyone on this board has tried that. At best you would likely spend your time obsessing about when you next drink, and at worst you would end up drinking more. Both those things happened to me.

I am glad that you are working on getting your meds changed. That's a good step to be taking.
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:28 PM
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I'm on meds for it now, but they don't seem to work well anymore)
I'm on meds for depression, anxiety, and bipolar - and of course they don't work as they should if I'm drinking. Now that I'm sober my meds work as they should and my depression and such is pretty much under control.

I also don't think that changing your meds will help much as long as you keep drinking. Alcohol ruins the good effects of the meds as it's a depressant.

As far as your wanting to quit/not wanting to quit - you'll only quit when YOU really want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. It sounds to me like drinking isn't doing you any good, only creating problems in your life. I sure hope you can decide on a sober life. It's so much worth the effort it takes to stay sober. I hope we can give you the support and information you need to decide to make your life better by giving up the drink. Alcoholism will never get better on its own, it can only get worse. I hope you can decide to stop drinking before something bad happens to 'make' you stop.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:50 PM
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About 1/3 of the members in my AA group are diagnosed
with Bi Polar disorder. They all say their med's are now
more effective because they are sober.....

Glad to see you are going to the mental health clinic soon.

Welcome to SR....
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Old 02-26-2010, 06:58 PM
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angharad- I read your post - which is what made me decide to join here and make a post myself. Unlike you - I didn't have to drink everyday (although I wouldn't have been against it either) but my drinking is usually on the weekends, with occasional drinking once a week. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad that you are bipolar as well - because it makes me feel more connected to you because you know (or anyone with depression or anger problems) understand my problems. I have to get one fixed in order to fix the other. My medication is the cheap stuff (the 4 dollar list at wal-mart) it doesn't mean its not any good, but when I had insurance I was on different meds that helped with my mood swings, depression, and social anxiety. Thats probably another reason why I can't go to AA. Plus, I can't go to one in my town, because its a very small town, so everyone would know my business.

I can also relate to the poster who said something about drinking and "hanging out with strange men". There is one guy in particular who about a year ago, tried to have sex with me (he was my best guy friend, and depressed because his girlfriend left him) and I was able to say no! He was very persistant, but I have a family and I guess I wasn't that drunk and knew it was a bad choice. Now, since it's gotten worse, I have this "I don't care" thinking, and honestly, if the situation came up again, and I was intoxicated, I probably would. It sounds horrible, I know - with alcohol combined with the bipolar disorder - I always have mixed feelings. Sometimes I love my husband (Well, I always love him, but..) but on certain days I don't want anything to do with him and these are the times where I probably would go out, get drunk, and do somethin stupid that would break up our family. I have a bottle of Jack Daniels in the cabinet as well as one drink left in a Margarita bottle - and I have this sense that I need to get rid of them asap - but I can't just dump them out. My brain says "drink it all, then you're done". It also says "Drink this, see if you can handle it. Try just one more time". I'm so glad I can come here to listen to people and have people tell me their advice from past experiences. I've always been the type to "I don't listen to anyone, I have to find out on my own". And like I said, mentally, I'm not ready to quit. The day after I go out and did bad things I tell myself "no. you're done." but a few days later I know I need to quit, but my mind tells me "try it just once more." Also, when I hang out with these bad people (which includes my best guy friend- he's really bad into drugs and alcohol) he always puts things in front of me (coke usually) and hands me the straw and says "Here" and when I'm drunk, I'm like "OK..." I never would do that with a sober mind though. Its' just when I get really drunk, I have the "I don't give a damn" atitude. The craving for alcohol for me is stronger than my willpower it seems. I'm glad to hear that meds work better without alcohol, but often when I drink, I don't take my meds (I take them at night) because certain anti-depressants mixed with alcohol can be a lethal consequence so because of the alcohol, I skip doses. Stupid, I know. I'm realizing now that alcohol has control over me, I do not have control over the alcohol. Addiction sucks. And, since last weekend, I've been chainsmoking.... (for me, since I don't smoke that much a day, chainsmoking for me would be like 1 every 15 minutes, not one right after the other). I don't know if I'm trying to replace alcohol with cigarettes? I hope when I go to the clinic I can start to understand more about what stage of bipolar I am, and if I have any other mental disorders (I know I have social anxiety, but I think that may come with being bipolar). The only thing that sucks is that my appointment is in a month, and I just have a tech evaluate me. I don't see the Dr. until the month after. They're very busy over there. Its hard to deal with both the mental illness, physical pain, and addiction at once. UGH! I guess life is not supposed to be easy, but it sure is easier for some people than it is for me. But then again, a lot of people have it worse than I do, I understand that too.
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Old 02-26-2010, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
About 1/3 of the members in my AA group are diagnosed
with Bi Polar disorder. They all say their med's are now
more effective because they are sober.....

Glad to see you are going to the mental health clinic soon.

Welcome to SR....
Thank you for that. That honestly helps a lot!
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Old 02-26-2010, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I'm on meds for depression, anxiety, and bipolar - and of course they don't work as they should if I'm drinking. Now that I'm sober my meds work as they should and my depression and such is pretty much under control.

I also don't think that changing your meds will help much as long as you keep drinking. Alcohol ruins the good effects of the meds as it's a depressant.

As far as your wanting to quit/not wanting to quit - you'll only quit when YOU really want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. It sounds to me like drinking isn't doing you any good, only creating problems in your life. I sure hope you can decide on a sober life. It's so much worth the effort it takes to stay sober. I hope we can give you the support and information you need to decide to make your life better by giving up the drink. Alcoholism will never get better on its own, it can only get worse. I hope you can decide to stop drinking before something bad happens to 'make' you stop.

Welcome to SR!
I'm hoping once I see the Dr. I can talk to him too about my alcoholism and see if he can help with me. Honestly - I don't want meds for it (such as antabuse) because for one: if I decide I'm going out to drink one day, i just wont take it, and for 2: If i do take it and hit a trigger (being around people that are drinking, going to my sis-in-laws house, etc) I'll be dumb enough to drink. I'm kinda a glutton for punishment. Its like do this now, worry about the consequences later.

And honestly, I don't want to be sober, I feel the need to get a "high" everyday - just because my sober life sucks (with the bipolar disorder) I enjoy being drunk/high more than I do being sober. Its just now that its affecting my life - I really have no other choice. I don't want to be a disappointment to my friends, family, etc.
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Old 02-26-2010, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Brittny

I think you know already how the limiting goes - it might work for a night but then, if you're like me, you just drink to catch up next time you're out.

I drank for pain too - but you and I both know there are better less harmful ways of alleviating pain - and alcohol gets progressively less and less effective...not to mention the other dangers of drinking, blacking out and hanging with strange men.

But...if you don't have the desire to quit...you probably won't Brittny. It's the way it goes for most of us. But things do, and will get worse. I really hope you decide to do something sooner than later.

I hope you keep reading and posting here - maybe we can help you work out what you can do right now.

Welcome
D

Right now, I can't find ways to self-alievate my pain. The dr. which does give me vicodin (only 30 at a time, so it doesn't last all month, but I still only fill it once a month) but he also gave me info on stretches for back problems. The back problem is so bad that I will get up to wash a few dishes and clean the countertop, and I have to go sit back down because my lower back hurts so bad, it feels like it will give out on me. I don't have insurance, So I can't see him anymore for this, but I do have a history with drug problems (It really wasn't addiction) but I was young and stupid and we would try different prescribed drugs to see how they would make you feel. Needless to say, I OD'd one night and was treated in the ER and took to a mental hospital (I was 16 I think). After that, I quit taking drugs that weren't prescribed to me. Oddly enough, I became a pharmacy technician at 17, and dealt with different drugs all day. It was hard sometimes - to see these drugs because it brought back bad memories, but I had no desire for any of them. I was so proud of myself to have had prescription drug issues in the past, and was able to overcome it and see them everyday, without craving or wanting them. Thats why I don't really think I was addicted to those drugs. It was just something we did as teens to get high. Try a little of this, or a little of that. But could you imagine, being a recovering alcohol addict, and working in a liquor store? OH MAN.... I know I couldn't do that. Thats how I know I have a problem. Another thing though, is that I'm prescribed xanax for anxiety. I have very bad anxiety. of course, your body gets immuned to it after awhile, so you need a higher dose. I try to get off of it for a week, to get my body back to not being used to it, but during that week I usually have my manic episodes. I have to have xanax, or I'd be a horrible person, seriously. But I just hate that my body gets used to it and it starts not working. I don't abuse them though, I take them as I'm supposed to.
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Old 02-26-2010, 08:02 PM
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Im in the same boat sweetie! I feel your pain100% just wanted to show love and support your not the only one out there feel free to contact me im 22 and live in south florida GOD BLESS
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Old 02-26-2010, 08:05 PM
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:38 PM
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Brittny, I have heard your story over and over again in AA meetings and it never ends well. Why? Because they never seeked help when they were 20, 30 or even 40. You are 24 years-old and you have your entire life ahead of you. You are married and you have a child. You are bi-polar, taking prescriptions, drinking and doing illegal drugs. And, you even say that you fear you might cheat on your husband if you are drunk. I promise you there is a way your story can improve but if you don't get some real help immediately I am sure you are in for a rough ride. Please see your Docs and be 100% honest with them like you have been here. Heck, why don't you just print out your post and hand it to them. Trust your Docs to help you. God Bless you and I pray that you will seek help mentally, physically and spiritually because I think you will need it. Please keep us updated!!
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:01 PM
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Originally Posted by ghal View Post
Brittny, I have heard your story over and over again in AA meetings and it never ends well. Why? Because they never seeked help when they were 20, 30 or even 40. You are 24 years-old and you have your entire life ahead of you. You are married and you have a child. You are bi-polar, taking prescriptions, drinking and doing illegal drugs. And, you even say that you fear you might cheat on your husband if you are drunk. I promise you there is a way your story can improve but if you don't get some real help immediately I am sure you are in for a rough ride. Please see your Docs and be 100% honest with them like you have been here. Heck, why don't you just print out your post and hand it to them. Trust your Docs to help you. God Bless you and I pray that you will seek help mentally, physically and spiritually because I think you will need it. Please keep us updated!!
There is an online mood tracker that I use to keep a journal and also record my moods throughout the day. I'm definitely going to talk about the alcohol abuse as well, to see if they can help me with that
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Old 02-27-2010, 01:04 AM
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Hi Brit & welcome to SR. I came here with a similar set of mind about a week ago. Kind of, yep, my drinking is out of control when I drink, but I would like to learn to control it. I wasn't 'ready' to completely quit drinking. But the truth is, that it was my alcoholic mind that wasn't ready to 'quit' me. Thanks to SR & wonderful people here I found that there is at least one person that can relate to any of each of my problems, that people went through the same 'thinking' and reasoning process with their addiction, and yet, not one person is saying "I have my drinking under control'. We just try the hardest to be sober and stay that way. I thought I will miss drinking and that my life will be somewhat empty without it. Well, quite opposite actually. I can't recall when I could remember the whole past week. It's so relieving. Also not felling guilty about things that I did when I'm drunk it's a huge weight of my shoulders. Just this little felling of ME being in control of my life instead of booze taking charge is extremely empowering. Reading through other people's posts also help me the huge amount. I started thinking with my sober mind, wondering what the alcohol really gives me, and the answer was, it only takes away from me. I also might have bi polar disorder, although I never tried to diagnosed it. I definitely suffer from depression, but then sometimes I am super hyper or furious kind of angry. Not drinking calmed my mood swings greatly. People even say to me that I become a "nicer" person. In regards to passing out with strange men, I think I was few steps ahead of you. I am also like you, 2-3 times a week drunk & when I drink, 7 out of 10 times I do blackout. It came to the stage that a few times I found an empty condom wrap in my place & had absolutely no idea how did it get there. Trust me, you don't want to wonder, did you & with whom you had sex, the next morning. It is one of the worst feelings of shame & disgust with oneself. Also please remember, that your drinking, not only has got influence on your husband's life, but mostly on your kid's life. I'd suggest that you read a bit about Children of Alcoholics and what extra difficulties their face in their life's if they have an alcoholic parent. Even if you are not every day drinker, kids pick up on the most subtle changes in their parent's behaviour & it tremendously shapes their future. By drinking you're not only destroy your future. You say that you cannot see your future without drinking, I say first of all, just try to take one day at the time, second "Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the goal" (Rita 
Davenport).

Good luck to you & keep posting!
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Old 02-27-2010, 05:27 AM
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Brittny
Believe it or not, you’ve already made enormous progress with your situation by taking two of the most difficult steps for someone in your circumstance…

1 – you recognized and admitted that you have a problem that needs to be addressed, and
2 – you reached out and asked for help.

Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself. Now continue to move in a positive direction. Here are some thoughts/suggestions that may help you get started.

• Keep things as simple as possible for now! Don’t even think about “quitting”. Quitting implies “forever”, and forever can be an overwhelming thought. Just focus on being committed to not drinking today. Don’t even think about tomorrow or any other day in the future. You can deal with tomorrow when you wake up tomorrow.
• Build a support group of people in your area that don’t drink or can control their drinking, and who are trustworthy and reliable. This includes alcoholics who are in sobriety. They will have tons of suggestions to help you. You can start right away by going to this website (Home Page). It’s the closest Intergroup office to you. Look up AA meetings nearby so that you can meet new people. It appears Columbus, TX only has meetings at the Old Library on Tuesdays at noon and 8pm. I strongly suggest that you go to one or both of them this Tuesday and make your attendance the MOST important obligation you have that day. Whatever else you may have planned, cancel, reschedule, or move it around so that you can fit this in. Treat this as if it’s life or death surgery that cannot be missed. Also, call the Intergroup phone number right away and talk to the people there. Tell them your situation and ask them for some guidance on things you could do. (Don’t be afraid or embarrassed because it’s anonymous, so ask everything that’s on your mind.)
• DEFINITELY talk to your doctor about all your medical problems as soon as possible, including your drinking and your reasons for doing it. Your doctor needs to help you find a way to deal with whatever you are struggling with so that you won’t want to turn to alcohol to self-medicate. Don’t be afraid to be persistent about it either. Make sure they understand the seriousness of your situation and how important it is to you.
• Throw out the thought of trying to limit your drinking. It will never work. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, the only way to eliminate the problems is to eliminate the alcohol. Millions before you have tried to set limits for themselves, including yours truly, and we have all failed. No matter what we try, we will eventually cross the line. If we could stick to a limit, we would have done so in the past and not caused so many problems for ourselves, and we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now.

Just remember, every bad feeling you’ve had or shameful experience you have gone through in your life has already been felt or experienced by many others before you. You are not alone. And numerous people have overcome their situations to live happy and prosperous lives. Now you just need to find those people whose circumstances are most similar to yours so that they can guide you through your journey.

Hang in there, keep reaching out for help, and DON’T DRINK JUST FOR TODAY!!!
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Old 02-27-2010, 06:20 AM
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wow
the bp thing threw me off...my daughter (i have 2- one without) is bp also. Just take it easy young lady. Life is is a gift. i know all about bp- believe me, its something you cant or can control. I have worked with my bp daughter and i would say humbly that - take it easy....you have the gift of life.

peace and love to you
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:09 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
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how you doing today brittny? <3
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Old 02-27-2010, 03:31 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tragami View Post
Brittny
Believe it or not, you’ve already made enormous progress with your situation by taking two of the most difficult steps for someone in your circumstance…

1 – you recognized and admitted that you have a problem that needs to be addressed, and
2 – you reached out and asked for help.

Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself. Now continue to move in a positive direction. Here are some thoughts/suggestions that may help you get started.

• Keep things as simple as possible for now! Don’t even think about “quitting”. Quitting implies “forever”, and forever can be an overwhelming thought. Just focus on being committed to not drinking today. Don’t even think about tomorrow or any other day in the future. You can deal with tomorrow when you wake up tomorrow.
• Build a support group of people in your area that don’t drink or can control their drinking, and who are trustworthy and reliable. This includes alcoholics who are in sobriety. They will have tons of suggestions to help you. You can start right away by going to this website (Home Page). It’s the closest Intergroup office to you. Look up AA meetings nearby so that you can meet new people. It appears Columbus, TX only has meetings at the Old Library on Tuesdays at noon and 8pm. I strongly suggest that you go to one or both of them this Tuesday and make your attendance the MOST important obligation you have that day. Whatever else you may have planned, cancel, reschedule, or move it around so that you can fit this in. Treat this as if it’s life or death surgery that cannot be missed. Also, call the Intergroup phone number right away and talk to the people there. Tell them your situation and ask them for some guidance on things you could do. (Don’t be afraid or embarrassed because it’s anonymous, so ask everything that’s on your mind.)
• DEFINITELY talk to your doctor about all your medical problems as soon as possible, including your drinking and your reasons for doing it. Your doctor needs to help you find a way to deal with whatever you are struggling with so that you won’t want to turn to alcohol to self-medicate. Don’t be afraid to be persistent about it either. Make sure they understand the seriousness of your situation and how important it is to you.
• Throw out the thought of trying to limit your drinking. It will never work. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, the only way to eliminate the problems is to eliminate the alcohol. Millions before you have tried to set limits for themselves, including yours truly, and we have all failed. No matter what we try, we will eventually cross the line. If we could stick to a limit, we would have done so in the past and not caused so many problems for ourselves, and we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now.

Just remember, every bad feeling you’ve had or shameful experience you have gone through in your life has already been felt or experienced by many others before you. You are not alone. And numerous people have overcome their situations to live happy and prosperous lives. Now you just need to find those people whose circumstances are most similar to yours so that they can guide you through your journey.

Hang in there, keep reaching out for help, and DON’T DRINK JUST FOR TODAY!!!
Bittny, if you follow the advice given here by Tagami you will off to a GREAT start!!!
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