Learning to kneel
On my path.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Home
Posts: 330
Learning to kneel
When I was drinking I felt BAD.
Physically bad - bad breath, bad skin, urppy stomach, flabby belly, stinky, crunchy hair, exhausted, exhausted, exhausted.
Socially bad - what can a drunk add to our society, I will become a drain, die early and cost my family dearly, drank too much go back to bed.
Emotionally bad - what a mess-up, a loser with no control, always alone, angry, bitter, self-righteous, raging, blaming, hopeless.
I am more than two months into recovery. Big changes are happening.
A couple of days ago I started to have some of the familiar hopeless feelings that always preceeded drinking. I didn't drink to numb it out, I FELT it instead. What amazed me is that along with my sadness I felt such a strong sense of humility and gratitude. I felt lucky and loved.
I was asked to help a friend and was able to do what he needed and more. What a gift to be there for someone.
Waiting for the bus with my kids has been an adventure in the snow. What a gift that time is with each of them.
My husband has been going through a difficult patch at work. We stay up together talking, listening and supporting. What a gift and honor it is to have someone trust me.
Humility and gratitude. I am learning how to kneel.
Thank you
55438
Physically bad - bad breath, bad skin, urppy stomach, flabby belly, stinky, crunchy hair, exhausted, exhausted, exhausted.
Socially bad - what can a drunk add to our society, I will become a drain, die early and cost my family dearly, drank too much go back to bed.
Emotionally bad - what a mess-up, a loser with no control, always alone, angry, bitter, self-righteous, raging, blaming, hopeless.
I am more than two months into recovery. Big changes are happening.
A couple of days ago I started to have some of the familiar hopeless feelings that always preceeded drinking. I didn't drink to numb it out, I FELT it instead. What amazed me is that along with my sadness I felt such a strong sense of humility and gratitude. I felt lucky and loved.
I was asked to help a friend and was able to do what he needed and more. What a gift to be there for someone.
Waiting for the bus with my kids has been an adventure in the snow. What a gift that time is with each of them.
My husband has been going through a difficult patch at work. We stay up together talking, listening and supporting. What a gift and honor it is to have someone trust me.
Humility and gratitude. I am learning how to kneel.
Thank you
55438
On my path.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Home
Posts: 330
The posts I look for are the ones that describe the process of becoming sober. The ones that describe the changes that occur as the person stops drinking and begins to recover and rethink/refeel life. What happens, what does it feel like, what might I expect?
Thank you for encouraging me as I stumble through this with you. I will continue to share my experiences with you and share yours with you.
55438
Thank you for encouraging me as I stumble through this with you. I will continue to share my experiences with you and share yours with you.
55438
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