Advice/help needed

Old 02-22-2010, 06:20 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2
Advice/help needed

Hey all,

I find myself in need of some advice in relation to my drinking issue. To be honest i just need some opinions as i have no clue on how to solve it,
Basically its been going on for years now (approx 8 yrs) and it is brought about by social activities. What I mean is if I spend a month at home with my girlfriend watchin dvds I dont crave drink (i just spent the whole of January like that). However once I go out I dont stop. Id start on a Friday night stay out all night Friday and all day saturday drinking. How much I drink I dont know but its bottle of vodka or so for sure. I act stupid , get a bit nasty sometimes and basically annoying to anyone around me especially when told to stop. Then there are the horrible blackout periods which i worry about.People are patient when Im like that due to the fact that they know me sober and im not being myself.
Every time i go out I always swear it will be just a few but it very rarely is. (last night was a rare occaison when i just drank around 8 small beers and went home without any problems).

I dont feel i need to go to AA or anything as i know my drinking is focused around social events. However it is now becoming a problem as over the past year i dont just go home at 4:00am . I run around in bars acting drunk and stupid all morning and afternoon the following day (btw i never met anyone who did this, any of u ever did? i mean stay out the whole day after not sleeping and continuing to drink) My friends cant understand why i do it . I just dont wanna stop. (ill be alone btw)With my job and all this has to stop. I look like a fool + its extremely unhealthy.

Any help on what I should do ? I hate the fact of thinking i m gonna have to go out without even having one.

Whats also happening is that im starting to feel anxious during the week too and i cant stop worrying about the weekend before and what I did (i forget sometimes due to the blackouts). Basically its become an 8 year issue i really need to eliminate from my life.

Thanks a million all.

smashing is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:25 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,527
There are lots of different ways to get and stay sober, AA is the most well known but there are other programs and services to help you stay sober. I use a mix of AA, this site, and counseling with an addiction counselor. So far, so good.

I always drank at home alone so don't have the social aspect of it. I do know I had to change my attitudes and behaviors to stay sober. It takes a lot of effort to stay sober but boy oh boy is it worth it. No more waking up deathly sick. No more wasted days or money. No more risk, either from driving or just risks to my health.

I hope we can give you the support and information you need to get and stay sober. Welcome to SR!
least is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:25 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Sugah's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
A long time ago, someone very wise told me, "It's not what you drink, how much you drink, or even how often you drink -- it's what happens to you when you drink."

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy:
If once you pick it up, you find you cannot put it might be an alcoholic.

Lots of former binge drinkers sober today in AA.

Peace & Love,
Sugah is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:46 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I personally didn't think I had a problem for at least 15 years, simply because I didn't drink in the mornings. I used to binge drink and do stupid things, and not crave alsohol, but it built up gradually over the years - it's very insidious!

Then I realised I was drinking all day, every day and STILL thinking I didn't have too much of a problem.

I look back and see that I didn't ever drink like my friends did, I could never stop either, I never wanted the night to end. They would get drunk and stop and go home, I would carry on until god only knows what would happen to me - I was 18 and now am 38, so that's a long time to realise

I hope you find it within you to make some changes now, before you go down a road that could get worse, hugs to you xxx
daisy1 is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 06:57 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2
Thats exactly what it feels like....i never want the night to end.... and my friends all go home exactly as you said. Txs Dais hugs back x
smashing is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 08:08 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Anna's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,095
Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like drinking is causing you problems in your life and you are aware that things need to change. Do you want to stop drinking? If so, you will find lots of support here and AA is not the only recovery method. I hope you take a look around and read and learn.
Anna is online now  
Old 02-22-2010, 09:07 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Western USA
Posts: 55
Consider this, Smashing: Non-Alcoholics seldom worry about their drinking. The Big Book talks about certain types who aren't alcoholic (pg 20-21). I suggest you get the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and read the first 164 pages. See if you find yourself in there. You can get it at most any AA meeting, bookstore or library. Checking out this work won't hurt you a bit and could save your arse.
DonaldS is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 02:11 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 210,569
Hi Smashed - welcome to SR

I started as a drinker very much like yourself - like you and Daisy, I never wanted the night, or the party, to end...I'd always be amongst the last ones...I'd even take home a few bottles as 'travellers' to wind down with

eventually the party didn't end...I ended up drinking all day everyday for years - and learned first hand to be very careful what you wish for.

Don't downplay this just because you don't drink at home - take my advice and deal with things now, Smashed.

Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-22-2010, 07:57 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
CarolD's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740

Welcome to SR

I too was a blackout bar drinker social life
revolved around alcohol. All my friends were also
ecessive drinkers.....I even made my living surrounded by booze.

For me to actually quit and stay quit drastic action was required.

I dsure hope you will find your way into sobriety
it's an awesome way to live.

Best to you and your partner
CarolD is offline  
Old 02-23-2010, 04:54 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Alright mate. Yer I used to do it. Alcoholism is progressive so it's a natural progression for a drinking binge to escalate into a couple of days.

I used to prefer taking my binge home with me as there were no others around to judge me or get myself into trouble. Though saying that I spent many 'long-weekenders' just out in town pubs and bars. I used to love it back in the day but with alcoholism things change and anxiety about behaviour in blackouts starts rearing it's head and it's all downhill from there.

I never wanted the party to end either. Towards the end of my drinking most of my parties were one man parties! Just easier that way.

I accepted I am an alcoholic and that any 'good-times' are long since gone. It's all down hill from now on tbh and the end point is prison, mental institution or death. It would have been for me anyway.

With drinking and drugs I am either all or nothing. All was destrotying myself and my life so now I am sober 7.5 months.

All The best.
NEOMARXIST is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:24 AM.