My pros and cons for AA,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland
Posts: 126
My pros and cons for AA,
Hi There, as you know have been Around here Dealing with Issues of my own,
Alcoholism, and have and had many insights into different peoples outlooks,
succes, Failures,etc, Dealing in there own ways and methods, i have to say
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also, so this common
goal i have with AA view 100%, the concerns i have, i can give an example,
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!, and like it or not,here amongst
like minded honest people its fine, outside there is still stigma and some who
would look down on this person, My next point Children, social workers
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
Alcoholism, and have and had many insights into different peoples outlooks,
succes, Failures,etc, Dealing in there own ways and methods, i have to say
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also, so this common
goal i have with AA view 100%, the concerns i have, i can give an example,
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!, and like it or not,here amongst
like minded honest people its fine, outside there is still stigma and some who
would look down on this person, My next point Children, social workers
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Dasha,
Simply put, AA has no interest talking you into following their program. It's merely a way that has worked for many once hopeless alcoholics. To paraphrase one of the cofounders, 'If you sincerely want to stop drinking for good and all, and know you need help, we are certain we have answer for you. It never fails.'
Keep drinking or not. Go to AA or not. Take the 12 Steps or not. It's your decision.
quotes aabb1st
Simply put, AA has no interest talking you into following their program. It's merely a way that has worked for many once hopeless alcoholics. To paraphrase one of the cofounders, 'If you sincerely want to stop drinking for good and all, and know you need help, we are certain we have answer for you. It never fails.'
Keep drinking or not. Go to AA or not. Take the 12 Steps or not. It's your decision.
quotes aabb1st
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Dasha, I am really glad you have now got thinking this far. This is making progress. Perhaps your last binge served a purpose.......
You actually have more belief that most of the people who walk through the door of AA. This is good.
Call your local AA hotline anonymously. Tell them your concerns. Listen to their answers.
I don't know but I don't think that they would take kids away in a flash because the carer attented AA meetings.
You know there is nothing stopping those do gooders and busybodies totting up your alcohol intake from what you buy at the store or the empties and calling social anyway. What would you do if you answered the door to them drunk?
You life will always be better off if you are sober. And in AA you have lots of people to help you through all sorts of difficult times.....not to mention people who could vouch for you.
Take care.
Originally Posted by dasha 
i have to say
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also
i can give an example,
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!
My next point Children, social workers
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
You know there is nothing stopping those do gooders and busybodies totting up your alcohol intake from what you buy at the store or the empties and calling social anyway. What would you do if you answered the door to them drunk?
You life will always be better off if you are sober. And in AA you have lots of people to help you through all sorts of difficult times.....not to mention people who could vouch for you.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I know what you are saying dasha - the first person I came into contact with at CADAS happened to be a social worker doing a voluntary stint - she really quizzed me on the kids and their well-being, but tried to be very casual about it so as not to alarm me. I was annoyed, because I felt guilty and ashamed, but my kids are fine and love me.
I am also reluctant to go to a meeting in my area (and surrounding areas) also, as soon as I am seen going in, the cat is out of the bag and I will lose a lot of respect (I believe I have a great deal of respect in my village). So I am trying to manage without the meetings but it's hard.
I am also reluctant to go to a meeting in my area (and surrounding areas) also, as soon as I am seen going in, the cat is out of the bag and I will lose a lot of respect (I believe I have a great deal of respect in my village). So I am trying to manage without the meetings but it's hard.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Dasha,
There are pro's and cons of going to AA, or of working smart, or of using SR.
There are also pros and cons of drinking.
In the end...I have to make a commitment fully to what I am going to do and do it...or waffle endlessly in confusion and terror...sorry but thats the bottom line for me.
when doing a pros and cons list..it is important to not judge it by the lengths of the pros and the cons, but to look at the weight of each items effect in my life....
Have you considered all your options? Have you squarely faced the long term effects of the path you are currently on?
I don't know what is best for you, but i suspect you do, and I hope you can utilize the "higher power" that you do have to be able to act on that knowledge.
There are pro's and cons of going to AA, or of working smart, or of using SR.
There are also pros and cons of drinking.
In the end...I have to make a commitment fully to what I am going to do and do it...or waffle endlessly in confusion and terror...sorry but thats the bottom line for me.
when doing a pros and cons list..it is important to not judge it by the lengths of the pros and the cons, but to look at the weight of each items effect in my life....
Have you considered all your options? Have you squarely faced the long term effects of the path you are currently on?
I don't know what is best for you, but i suspect you do, and I hope you can utilize the "higher power" that you do have to be able to act on that knowledge.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
You bring up a lot of "what if" type questions....
My recovery has left a trail... damn it... but that's what it took. Maybe you can recover on your own, with no trail what so ever... I don't know. I truly believe that I am happier and am better recovered as a result of AA, SR and though I hate to admit it, rehab, than I would have been on my own...
What if...
One thing about being recovered.... I don't get into "what if"... "if" it becomes "when", I'll deal with it... I will use my support group, wife, SR, whatever and whomever I trust to make important decisions... and if "what if" becomes "when", that's when I'll handle it... and I'll know I made the best decision I could have and... no regrets.
BTW... I am in a high profile occupation in a small town. I see people at meetings all the time, hell I've lived here 24 years... no problems... I run into AAs out and around all the time... a handshake, smile and usually a nice chat... and my day gets a little brighter
Mark
My recovery has left a trail... damn it... but that's what it took. Maybe you can recover on your own, with no trail what so ever... I don't know. I truly believe that I am happier and am better recovered as a result of AA, SR and though I hate to admit it, rehab, than I would have been on my own...
What if...
One thing about being recovered.... I don't get into "what if"... "if" it becomes "when", I'll deal with it... I will use my support group, wife, SR, whatever and whomever I trust to make important decisions... and if "what if" becomes "when", that's when I'll handle it... and I'll know I made the best decision I could have and... no regrets.
BTW... I am in a high profile occupation in a small town. I see people at meetings all the time, hell I've lived here 24 years... no problems... I run into AAs out and around all the time... a handshake, smile and usually a nice chat... and my day gets a little brighter
Mark
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
I'm not in AA Dasha - but intention made a great point.
If you drank like me, and I suspect you do, more people than you realise most likely already know you're a drunk.
Why not go and try something that might help?
D
If you drank like me, and I suspect you do, more people than you realise most likely already know you're a drunk.
Why not go and try something that might help?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Anonymity is an incredibly important tradition in AA. There is a mechanism in AA that works very well to preserve anonymity: people have a tendency not to "out" you because they would out themselves in the process, wouldn't they?
In all the months I've been going to AA I have not heard of any cases of people blowing other people's anonymity.
In all the months I've been going to AA I have not heard of any cases of people blowing other people's anonymity.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by dasha
Hi There, as you know have been Around here Dealing with Issues of my own,
Alcoholism, and have and had many insights into different peoples outlooks,
succes, Failures,etc, Dealing in there own ways and methods, i have to say
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also, so this common
goal i have with AA view 100%, the concerns i have, i can give an example,
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!, and like it or not,here amongst
like minded honest people its fine, outside there is still stigma and some who
would look down on this person, My next point Children, social workers
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
Alcoholism, and have and had many insights into different peoples outlooks,
succes, Failures,etc, Dealing in there own ways and methods, i have to say
what i do actually agree very much with on the AA,front is the HP, I do
beleive also to being part of the masterplan,and nothing happens by chance,
we are all here to work for the good of others, with a common purpose, the
more naturally,not contrived for self brownie points, or to pls and appease,
we are, in putting others before ourselves, the happier i think we are... I
Remember a famous person saying once...at the end of the day if all you
have to live for is yourself..your finished, this i believe also, so this common
goal i have with AA view 100%, the concerns i have, i can give an example,
supposing your living in a rural small town location,you have family, there
is one meeting place for many miles, its like many smallville rural locations
were many think they have a right to nose into everybody elses buisness,
its no longer Alcoholics Anonymous..more like its me everyone the Alkie.
its not a private matter in such location!, and like it or not,here amongst
like minded honest people its fine, outside there is still stigma and some who
would look down on this person, My next point Children, social workers
do gooders,busybodies, if anything was to happen to ones other half, and
you were the proverbial self confessed admitted alcoholic...Do you not think
certain Authoritarians would look to take them kids off you in a flash, even
if you were doin a fine job...Such is the stigma of Alcoholism?, as opposed
to one who was quietly dealing with an issue privately.. And admitted to
nothing that could later be used against one in Evidence? Your thoughts?
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