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boyfriend is an alcoholic

Old 02-20-2010, 04:09 AM
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Exclamation boyfriend is an alcoholic

my boyfriend has just recently admitted to me that he is an alcoholic. we have been together for 5 and a half years now and for the past 2-3 years he has been drinking quite alot. sometimes i have questioned it and put it to the back of my mind, but over the past few months it has been getting worse. when i tried to mention it in the past he just got angry with me and denied it. but the other day it all came pouring out.
im only 22 and never had to deal with anything like this before. i really dont know what to do or where to start. he told me alot of things about his past and problems in his family which i didnt know about and i think alot of it stems down to that. there is a lot of angry in him and he is holding everything in. he also mentioned that he doesn't know who he is and never has done.
would really apriciate advice on what to do.
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Old 02-20-2010, 04:21 AM
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When you find yourself in a hole, usually, the best thing to do is to stop digging! I quit smoking at 40, stopping drinking now at 50... Tell your BF that if he stops now, it is infinitely easier than 3-5-10... years from now! The anger and problems your BF is "helping" by drinking, are very likely, being _caused_ by drinking. It's a pattern I have seen many times. You are still very young, if you have to, you can just move on. Stay strong, give an ultimatum and mean it. Good luck!
..Mike
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Old 02-20-2010, 04:48 AM
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Welcome to SR anonuk.

There is a special section for Friends and Families of Alcoholics where you may also get some answers so you may want to ask this same question there.

What is your boyfriend planning to do now that he has recognized and admitted he has a problem?
If he is not planning on quitting drinking it will likely get worse.
If he is planning on quitting you may suggest to him to join here and he will get the help and support he needs to be successful.
Good luck to you both.
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Old 02-20-2010, 04:59 AM
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Hi anonuk

Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here

I think it's important to realise that, while you can be a supportive and loving partner, recovery really is a journey of self discovery, or at least it was for me - and as an alcoholic noone else can make that journey for you.

Also I think it's important that look after yourself too - coming to terms with recovery can be a bumpy ride on the partner too.

Like Fube said, please do check out our Family and Friends section as well
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com

D
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