Something about early sobriety I am just not getting...

Old 02-25-2010, 11:55 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i am not following the 12 steps, (at this time after reading about them and people's experiences, it is just not a fit for me) be it...However, I do remember waking up on Day 3 or 4 (i would have to check my post over on the gratitude thread)...and being so grateful to have been drinking that I just cried from sheer relief.

I believe it is different for me, i just don't want to drink......and I tell myself not to complicate it, it's just something NOT to do.

I do certainly know that I never again want to experience heaving so badly I thought I would blow my teeth out of mouth.
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Old 02-25-2010, 12:55 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I am day 38 and while I don't have any physical cravings, I occasionally think of how nice it would be to enjoy a glass of wine or meet up with friends for a drink but I don't. I choose sobriety and I am doing this journey without AA or meds or anything. Everyone works their recovery differently and for me what keeps me focused is my life and those who are in it. I never liked who I was when I went beyond a few drinks, I hated myself when I drank daily and I hated the way I felt every morning after with the shakes and the chills and feeling like sh!t. Bluhhhh.

I had to quit when I was ready and for the reasons that were important to me. I have a wonderful supportive husband who knew my problem when he met me and believed in me. Unfortunately, you can only promise to "cut back", "take weekdays off from drinking", "drink wine instead of rum" before the truth is out that you just can't have one. For me it was all or nothing and it was when my husband said....I can't take much more of are hurting yourself and I can't continue to watch you kill yourself that I broke down and said I have a problem....I am an alcoholic. This is what I hold on to each day I wake up and choose not to drink.

What keeps me focused is how much I love my family and friends. How grateful I am to not hide in the house and hope no one needs a ride somewhere. How I can go to an event and stay in the "non drinking" area if you will and say with pride....I don't drink and I will act as the DD for tonight. I have taken up baking and some other hobbies and take my vitamins everyday. I do drink coffee again but am cutting back on that and of course I am working on my smoking but for me right now the biggest task at hand is remaining in recovery and I will die before I touch a drink again. That is how I keep it together.

Much love and support to you and the pros so outweigh the cons. The biggest thing I can say is that when we become sober we must change our lifestyle. Learning to live without alcohol is probably the toughest part of recovery but have faith and know that it is possible and many people have done it.

I hope I do not falter on the road of recovery but if I do then I will pick myself up, dust off and go at it again. Sobriety is always there waiting you

God Bless my friend.
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Old 02-25-2010, 01:29 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Somewhere along the Delaware River, Pennsylvania
Posts: 137
Kmber...I am also relying heavily on coffee and cigarettes in my early recovery. One thing at a time. Stay on your path, and do what works for you. I wish you all the best!
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Old 02-25-2010, 02:06 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
thanks for your message Kmbr, I appreciate what you said about not hiding in the house and changing up the lifestyle....that is what I am trying to do too.

congrats on 38 days, i am looking forward to getting to that point too.
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