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Please know this

Old 02-18-2010, 10:40 PM
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Please know this

Before you drink when you are pregnant know this...

...your child will pay forever for your buzz.
...your child may become violent and put into jail before he is 14 (75% of boys with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) are incarcerated by the age of 14).
...the tax on the adoptive or birth family is so great that only 10% of them remain intact 10 years after diagonsis.
...your child WILL be mentally retarded.
...your child WILL have social/autistic/language issues.

I adopted your child...

...my child will never drive his own car.
...my child will never have his own house.
...my child will always be a dependent of/on his sisters.
...my children are having to put up with a depessed mother.

I love my son.



I am sorry for my outrage. My adoptive son has FAS. He has attacked our other children, physically and mentally. IT IS AWEFUL. Our day to day life has been described as a battle field. We are all suffering from PTSD.

I read so many entries about pregnant mothers drinking. Simply put, it hurts me.


My time here on SR has not been easy but it has been supportive.

Could we please have an area for those of us with kids damaged by alcohol where we could support each other?

55438
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Old 02-18-2010, 11:01 PM
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As a disabled man myself (not due to anything my parents did) I feel your pain especially 55438.

It's hard on you, it's hard on them, and you all have my admiration.

We open new forums when we perceive a genuine need...as a good way of gauging that need, I can't see any reason* why you can't start a thread right now - either here with this one, or one in our Relationships and Parenting in Sobriety forum?

Relationships & Parenting In Sobriety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

*If there is a reason, I'm sure I'll be notified and we'll both stand corrected

D
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Old 02-19-2010, 05:52 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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Good post 55.

I would add that it is also irresponsible to smoke when you are pregnant or do any other drugs.
As far as I am concerned this is the most irresponsible thing a mother could do.
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Old 02-19-2010, 06:06 AM
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That is why we are hesitant to adopt. I don't think I could handle a special needs child. It takes a special person.

My hat is off to you and I hope it gets better.
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Old 02-19-2010, 07:35 AM
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Thank you all for your support. We have had a rough couple of days (and weeks and years).

There is a direct correlation between my son's acting out and my insomnia. I get so worried about the future and so stuck in that past that it negates the present.

I will post a new thread in the parenting area. Thank you Dee.

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Old 02-19-2010, 03:33 PM
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You have every reason and right to be angry. FAS is a disbility kids don't have to get but it is given to them without their choosing.
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Old 02-19-2010, 04:16 PM
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Hi, your anger and outrage is understandable. I hope you find the support you need to help you through this difficult time.

It's an admirable thing that you are doing, which takes a lot of courage.
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