HockeyFreak24

Hey Everyone,

I guess i'll start off telling you about myself. Im 24 years old, and i've been drinking since I was 19. Started off about once or twice week in my parents house..when they would go to sleep I'd pull out my captain Morgan or Jack Daniels bottle and get drunk. I moved out when I got a job at 21 and pretty much since then 80% of the time when I didn't have to wake up early the next day i'd get drunk...by myself in my apartment. I'm a cop with rotating shifts about 15-20 days of the month I could sleep late...and drink.

At first I didn't think it was a big deal, but when im at work at 9pm and i'm looking forward to getting off and drinking...not fun. It's become a routine. I woudn't even go out with my co-workers after getting off at midnight because in my mind I have my night planned out...go home, get drunk. I pretty much became a hermit which I hate..

Anyway i've tried to stop before but inside I knew I wasnt ready, but yesterday while drunk I ruined a good relationship I had with someone. My alcoholism never really affected anyone but me but that's not the case anymore and it's time for a change.

This is day 1. Sorry for rambling on, looking forward to talking with you all, seems like a great place here

-Steve

least

This IS a good place for recovery! Welcome to SR and congrats on deciding to get sober. It takes some effort but is so worth it.

Toronto68

HockeyFreak, I relate to what you said a LOT. I had a constant routine of getting home and usually hitting it right away. Not everybody does it every day, they use it in a different rhythm. For the last several years, I would not do much else. Aside from wanting to hold up good behavior, I would keep to a minimum any going out with work friends and if I did I would have only 1 (maybe to be inconspicuous and not deal with questions); but most of the time, 0. I would be fine going without for 2, 4 or 6 hours, like an expert, ha ha. Then I would get home and wonder if I had left a little abruptly or cranky (the answer was yes at times). Then hit it even if it was past midnight, when I would normally be in bed. I would get a small intake in (1 or 2 or 3) by comparison to what was normal (6, 7 or 8 - once a year maybe 11 or 13). All the while, fully aware of the fact that I had a bondage to this hermit thing you were talking about. The thing that helped me to be more gregarious when I was your age eventually locked me up at home, where the problems were before I ever tried alcohol. I guess that was a "functioning alcoholic." But I eventually grabbed on to the moment when I knew I couldn't function with it anymore. Probably a good 14 years of my life that I could have had more "life" in it. I'm taking it back now.

That wasn't rambling at all, I'm so glad to hear about this Day One for you. If you want it stopped, I want it too. It definitely has helped me to come in here, I hope you will find the same.

ashleek

Welcome to our family!!!

There are a lot of people who are going to relate and to help you through these trying times. I myself am a recovering addict to drugs but like you my life revolved around my drug and I was hopeless and all alone. Keep coming back here, maybe think about going to an AA meeting. My home group of AA is my second family!!

Good luck and come on here and ramble as much as you want, we all did!

Dee74

Welcome to SR steve

D

lONG TIME

I'm guessing you skate with the boys, and there are beers flowing in the lot afterwords?

Fubarcdn

Welcome to SR Steve.
I think that if there is one thing that most is us here have in common it is damaged relationships due to our behavior while under the influence.
It is good that you recognize this at a young age and are prepared to do something about it.
Good luck to you.

HockeyFreak24

Thanks all....it's good to see people had similar experiences with alcohol as me and were able to break it...im not alone anymore lol. I don't talk to my friends about this at all, nobody knows how much I drink..


Sometimes, but im a complete closet drinker really...I rarely take a beer after a game and if i do i'll just drink half of it. All I think about is getting home and drinking there.... (Just for those are don't know what we are talking about...In mens league hockey after a game the beers are usually broken out..)