Fandy

I did not grow up with advantages, but I've worked hard to get nice things....and then to not keep them nice is shameful (to me)....why have beautiful furniture,tile and granite if all you are going to do is upchuck on it because you just drink?(sorry for the graphic)....I can *annoy* myself sober if I have to.

BTW, i was raised old-school eastern european, my mother scrubbed day and night,dirt was not allowed, h** it was probably *afraid*to come near our house. LOL

when the house is clean (ok I do have cathair) I feel more peaceful, besides, it will keep me occupied and i'll feel like i accomplished something worthwhile.

intention

Hi Fandy,

Now I am sober my house is getting cleaner and more organised all the time. As each week goes by I am letting go of clutter and unnecessary belongings by either giving to charity or selling on eBay. The more I let go of all the stuff I accumulated during my drinking, the more peaceful I feel.

I'm now taking pride in my appearance. Doing my hair and make up when I go out and having baths and showers. Today I have not even gone out and yet I have cleansed and moisturised my face which would be unheard of if I was drinking. In fact I would normally have the panda eye make up from the day before.

I think taking care of your appearance and your surroundings is all part of recovery.

Well done.

Fandy

There is a TV show here that is one of my favorites on something called "StyleNetwork"...It's called "Clean House"...where a designer, yard sale organizer, handyman and group leader go tp people's home's who have submitted requests....get them to let go of their "stuff" and give them new designs and furniture...the catch is that the homeowner lets the crew film their disgusting mess...And oh some of it is a health hazard, like years of cat-turds in a closet, mold, younameit, old food...UGH.

before I started drinking constantly (or maybe when I started watching TV and drinking constantly) i would watch it for motivation....(Mr. Fandy would panic, he is not a fan of cleaning, but neither does he drink much). LOL he would run from the "steamy-mop"

Toronto68

I was going to mention this yesterday, but then stopped because we were going on tangents .... But I think another "lane" in the road for me was seeing Hoarders on A&E, for those who have it in Canada/US. (I don't know how far-reaching the program is.) I didn't have the same kind of inventory work to wade through, but I did see similarities to myself there, since I couldn't walk in all of the rooms and it was just a disaster in many ways. I changed things dramatically and I have my "cool place" again, ha ha. And took a few pictures, mostly the good results afterward, but I did also take one of a mess, because I thought it might be a useful tool for me in the future (the way people will put a picture of themselves on the fridge to keep them from snacking). Anyway, yet another dimension to the "thank god that's over" idea when it comes to the secondary details

Houndheart

Intention: I can totally relate. I have been sober about a month, and over the weekend I decided to clear through all the "stuff" that I acquired over the past few years when a lot of people were passing away. I grabbed my uncles' stuff...my dad's stuff, my mom's stuff....I guess cause I couldn't stand that they were all leaving me.,and I was trying to hold onto something. And now, all of their stuff is everywhere...shoved under here, in there...any little place I could find a home for it. And it's cluttering my life. And when I was cluttering my mind with alcohol to deal with it, I guess it all matched...but now...as clarity is setting in, I want my home to feel more clear too. So I can feel relaxed, and perhaps use my creative talents again. I have two cars full of thing to be donated to the Homeless Shelter's Thrift Shop (they don't charge anyone who "Shops" there). I think that it's time to share all that I have been hoarding. I am pretty sure my deceased loved ones would prefer for me to share their physical things with other folks, and instead to focus on the memories i hold for them in my head and in my heart.

Houndheart

It may be a tangent on a topic of secondary details...but it seems that a lot of folks can relate to this cleansing of house clutter that apparently goes on when sobering up. I just started on this site, but do you think this might be worthy of a new thread so that the other folks that relate to this topic can join in? They may not because the topic is about liquore stores. I thought it was just something I was doing,and am finding this interesting that others are doing it too.

Relief

Oh yes. I did the store rotation for the first several years of my alcoholic drinking. After a while I stopped caring and was even know to hit the same store twice in one day. Wow, I was one classy drunk. It's been 8 months since I have been in a liquor store now and when I go to the grocery I actually buy groceries!

Fandy

Houndheart, do the honors, I think it's a great topic we can all relate to.

Toronto68

Hound, all the secondary details do mean a lot to me, they're linked to ways to cope. I call them secondary just to distinguish them from the main issues inside, such as fear or whatever equation is inside for us as an alcoholic or addict. I am game with whatever way the forums and topics are set up.

intention

Hi Houndheart,
I am sure they would too. Letting go is a wonderful feeling. You can always keep a few small sentimental items of your loved ones.

And of course, those who really are in need get to benefit from your generosity

intention

You can start any thread you like. Why don't you start one on this topic

Houndheart

I am having problems letting go of a lot of the things. My parents and my uncle were all artistic/crafts people...and they made so many things. I feel sort of odd just giving away their things, and my small sampling of relatives don't want them! It's hard. But anyway...I will figure it out. I have a really small house. I need to let go of at least the other things that were not handmade so I can store some of the other things and maybe rotate what I put out. Here's to cleaing out and gettign things in order!

MeAndOnlyMe

Yes, I "pulled one over on those unsuspecting liquor store proprietors" also. I would buy my wine by the case as I was a "collector" and liked to supplement a good "table wine" with each case of good wine. Same thing with $60/bottle Scotch. Or classy vodka "for my wife." Mail order cases of wine (because $200 for a case makes it OK). What an idiot I was.

MeAndOnlyMe

Awesome (in a really twisted way that no longer makes sense)!

Toronto68

Houndheart, the organizing of your priorities sounds like it is in the works. I understand if it hurts as you pick which things stay vs go. I guess that is a challenge when you have a big heart If you can only work on it by yourself, then maybe it helps to take time. My situation was not so much all kinds of crafts, it was more making the place organized. I took the time I needed and was just amazed at what got done. Whatever you can do!

Houndheart

Toronto...I need to do both....pick thru and get organized. I have always been a pack rat of sorts, and all this hoarding put me over the edge.

BTW, I just posted a new thread about decluttering Brain and House in Sobriety, so others that are interested in this topic could join in. I don't know why I thought i was alone in my little world in this clutter/disorganization. I guess I am new to this sharing thing, and forgot that it probably goes with the territory and a lot of folks in recovery can relate. Pretty cool to not feel all alone. Thank you.

Houndheart

P.S. Toronto, Thank you for reminding me that it's ok to take time to do this. I need to give myself time. Right? I forget this and make myself nuts sometimes.

Houndheart

And I miss my hound dog...she was the last of the group of loved ones to go...two months after mom. I have no spouse, no s/o, no kids...just had my Sadie. Her stuff is staying....only a leash, a bowl, a collar and with her tags on it. Man, I never really thought I'd be crying online to a group of folks that I never met...but I just realized what I chose as my "handle" on here... It's in honor of my dog, and all the sweet animal beings on the planet. And a flood of tears has just come. Good to let them out. Thanks for listening.

TakeAStepBack

Going back to the original topic of this thread, I lost my driver's license a while ago, but that wasn't too much of a hindrance. I have 5 ... count them... FIVE liquor stores within 5-10 minutes walk from my home. And one of them is open until midnight.

MeAndOnlyMe

My infant daughter is a Sadie and part of the reason I'm trying to keep my wits about me. Here's to Sadies the world over.

Best to you.