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Old 02-15-2010, 09:00 PM
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Unsure Newcomer

Hello everyone. I'm here because I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic or just have a problem or what's going on with me. I think it's safe to say that I drink more than what is "normal" on any given day. I never used to think anything was wrong with it. Because I didn't drink all day, only at night after work. But my mother recently got diagnosed with dementia and it may be karsakoff's but we're not sure yet. I never thought my mom drank much either. She and her 2 sisters and her brother were/are all, I guess what's considered heavy drinkers. So to me it was all normal. Now there's all this worry that if I fall into the same drinking habits of my mother, that I may get this dementia too.

Before this thing with my mother had happened, I had considered cutting back what I drink on a daily basis. I just never did it because I didn't see the problem with it and I honestly didn't want to. But now that this thing with my mother is happening, I decided that I'm only going to drink on the weekends. Well that's my goal at least. I've been doing pretty well with it. But I find that if I have a glass of wine one day with dinner during the week, I find myself getting anxious when I won't allow myself to have that second and third glass that I used to normally have.

So I guess I was just wondering if anyone is in the same position as me. I don't even know if I am an alcoholic. I'm just ... confused I guess.
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:18 PM
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Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.

I only drank at home after work. I did it daily for 30 years. I am an alcoholic.

Only you know if you are alcoholic. Keep reading SR. There are lots of good people here....they'll be around shortly.
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:19 PM
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I'm really sorry your Mother is so very ill.


Yes....I do hope you will quit drinking....it's a liquid toxin
and damages your mind and body. This is true for all
drinkers.....not only alcoholics.

There are various on line test you can take to determine
if you are an alcoholic. Have you checked any out?

And of course....there are different stages of alcoholism too.
plese read the link below for information....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Welcome to our recovery community...
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:30 PM
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RP..many reasons for dementia(idiopathic)..doctors don't know!!!!..

..look after her and please stay focused on your alcohol concerns??

..SR is a great place ...for that..welcome...Oz..
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:36 PM
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Thanks for the welcomes

I have taken some of those tets OL and they've said I have a high chance that I may be an alcoholic.

I think I'm not only new to possible recovery but also to the disease in general. I think I have the wrong ideas about what alcoholics are in general and what recovery is. I always thought that recovering alcoholics never drank ever once they decided to get sober. Can you be a recovering alcoholic and drink occasionally? I am limiting what I drink, but it's not easy, and it makes me anxious. So to me, that must mean something. If I wasn't addicted to it, it wouldn't be a problem, right?
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Old 02-15-2010, 10:01 PM
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Welcome to SR Rising Phoenix

I didn't understand much about alcoholism when I came here either - but I had been one for at least 15 years.

For me, it's not about how often I drank, or how much - it's why I drank that's important - what I used alcohol for, and what I should have been doing all those years to deal with whatever - instead of drinking.

I hope this place helps you as much as it's helped me

Welcome!
D
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Old 02-16-2010, 06:19 AM
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I too am sorry for all the chaos in your life right now. The only thing I know for sure is that alcohol won't make any of them better, and will, in fact, make things worse. I hope you can stop drinking before it stops you. (((hugs)))
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Old 02-16-2010, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by RisingPhoenix9 View Post
Thanks for the welcomes

I have taken some of those tets OL and they've said I have a high chance that I may be an alcoholic.

I think I'm not only new to possible recovery but also to the disease in general. I think I have the wrong ideas about what alcoholics are in general and what recovery is. I always thought that recovering alcoholics never drank ever once they decided to get sober. Can you be a recovering alcoholic and drink occasionally? I am limiting what I drink, but it's not easy, and it makes me anxious. So to me, that must mean something. If I wasn't addicted to it, it wouldn't be a problem, right?
Hi RisingPhoenix,

First, welcome to SR and thanks so much for posting! I, too, went through a stage where I tried to figue out the 'am I or am I not an alcoholic' thing. I decided I wasn't because I didn't drink as much as a lot of alcoholics I had met and decided I was fine......I wasn't. I then spent 4 years of hell watching my drinking steadily increase, thinking I had to have it to sleep, feeling guilt and shame the next morning, etc.

Many old timers here with great words of wisdom (I'm just short of a month myself). One thing I was told that really stuck with me is that I shouldn't look at how much I drink, but what happens inside of me after that first drink. In short, can you walk away and not feel that craving for more?

The answer for me was a big "no". When I have a drink, it's like a starter's pistol is going off my brain and I have to have more....more....and more!! I'm an alcoholic...regardless of how much I would drink on a given night.

Regarding your question, I have never met or heard of an alcohoic that got sober and was ever able to drink again like a normal person. It always ends up in tragedy. Be it 3 months sober or 30 years sober, the starter's pistol will always be waiting for me if I'm ever stupid enough to take that first drink again.

Sorry for the long post. I wish you well on your journey and would just encourage you to be honest with yourself and others on where you are. If you do this and take the appropriate actions, you'll find the right path.

RacerX
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Old 02-16-2010, 08:40 AM
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Alcoholics cannot EVER drink again normally. If you dont believe me...try it. Alcoholics have been testing that theory since the beginning of time....and failing miserably. Plus...if your drinking negatively affected anyone in your life, they will never believe that ...NOW...you can drink "normally". They will just see a drunk who is now drinking again. Think about what you said in your original post. You drink every...single...solitary...day. Does that also mean that from the moment you get home until bedtime...you just dont drive anywhere? What if you were needed in some family emergency? What if SOMETHING...anything...happened and you needed to go SOMEWHERE in a hurry. You cant...cuz now your drunk...and shouldnt be driving. Thats only a small part of it. I dont like it when I hear "Only you can decide if you're an alcoholic" I think thats inaccurate. Who better to spot another alcoholic than ....another alcoholic? Ask yourself...honestly....do you think its normal to drink EVERY day? Ask yourself...honestly...HONESTLY...why do you drink EVERY day? I "like" the taste of Pepsi...but I have a Sprite now and again. I certainly do not drink the same drink every day. Alcoholics are KNOWN for using booze to escape their lives...their problems...their stress'. Do you drink everyday...by yourself? And if so,....dont you want someone to share 5pm until bedtime with from time to time? It sounds to me like you are an alcoholic.....

Normal drinkers never HAVE to WONDER if they are an alcoholic because nothing is CAUSING them to wonder it. Normal drinkers dont normally Google "Alcoholism".
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Old 02-16-2010, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by RisingPhoenix9 View Post
But I find that if I have a glass of wine one day with dinner during the week, I find myself getting anxious when I won't allow myself to have that second and third glass that I used to normally have..

Only you can say whether you are an alcoholic or not. But, the fact that you get anxious after having just one drink is a major sign of addiction/alcoholism. Non-Alcoholic drinkers can drink one and not think twice about it. We can not! I would suggest that you go to an AA meeting and be honest with them. Tell them you want to hear what they have to say because you aren't sure if you are an alcoholic. If you hear your story over and over in the rooms that might be what you need. That's how I knew for sure.
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Old 02-16-2010, 10:47 AM
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Hi and welcome.

I only drank beer and then wine. I couldn't stand spirits. I would very often go days, weeks, sometimes a month of so without alcohol. All of this convinced me that I was not an alcoholic. But I am an alcoholic, now in recovery.

It's the problem that alcohol causes in your life and your lack of control which determines if you are an alcoholic (only you can decide for sure). If you need to give up or restrict because of health concerns now and for the future and can't do that, then you are certainly a problem drinker. I found that moving from problem drinker to alcoholic happened very quickly without me ever realising. If you are not an alcoholic, you could be very close to it.

Take care.
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Old 02-16-2010, 11:10 AM
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Thanks everyone for all the advice and comments!! You've all given me some great things to think about. I truly appreciate it!!
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Old 02-16-2010, 11:10 AM
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I find myself getting anxious when I won't allow myself to have that second and third glass that I used to normally have.
....

knowing that alcoholism is progressive and knowing that at some point id lost the power of choice with alcohol.............i guess at some early point i was at that stage you posted above....

if alcohol is a problem stop drinking it.
you will quickly find the measure of your possible problem.

It good and heathly to question and spot light your drinking and what happens when to use willpower not to drink...

i always use my wife as comparison for a normal temperant drinker.....
she drinks maybe a glass of wine........maybe everynight.........maybe not all month.......once she even got drunk...lol.........not a pretty sight.

the key feature with my wifes drinking is if she decides to lay off it for a month.......it happens............and its no big deal.
she mantains the power to choose when...where.......how much...

maybe worth reading the doctors opinion in the book alcoholics anonymous.
see what you think...........id be interested to hear.

good luck
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:23 PM
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Hi everyone; this is my first post too. RP and have many simialrities, my mother has advancing dementia and we placed her in a nursing home this year....stressful for all.

I've been drinking steadily for about 25 years, i refer to myself as a "functioning alcoholic"..i only drink wine, but i drink more and more. i decided yesterday (after being home sick and watching a marathon of Intervention shows). that it might be a good thing to stop....hopefully today is my first sober day in 2010. I was sober for 9 days in October 2009...not by choice, i was hospitalized.

I have a headache and vomiting, anxiety, tachycardic if I miss my BP meds. that i need because i've put on 40# from all that wine....i no longer go to the gym, i'm depressed to the max.

I work at a hospital and am susceptiple to all those virus' so i don't know if i have a real GI thing or it's the lack of wine...which i refused to buy today...I purchased laundry detergent and catfood instead.

i'm currently drinking diet gingrale mixed with seltzer.....
thank for letting invade the thread.
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:26 PM
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Welcome to SR Fandy.

Please see a Dr if you're at all worried about your well-being. Detox can sometimes be rough.

D
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:41 PM
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thanks Dee, i already have last month, but i have to decide to stop drinking completely first....last October i remained asymptomatic, but i had medical support....

i am hoping this place will give me some insight.
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:45 PM
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If you've got to think about cutting back -- or regaining control -- think of what this means. Your drinking is probably out of control, or getting there quickly. It's a tough spot to be in, but many of us were there. There is hope; though, in my experience, I was not able to quit/control on will-power alone. Give me 90 seconds -- ok, a few minutes -- with myself (heck, even with the sobriety I do have), and I can convince myself of anything. When I was still drinking, I didn't have to convince myself -- I believed all my BS, all the time. It's only through AA that I've gained those few minutes to make some calls, do some reading, head out to a meeting, etc. They can, and have been, life savers.
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Old 02-16-2010, 09:31 PM
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Fandy ....
Welcome to SR

The first drunks in history only drank wine....
perhaps because that's all that was available.

Sorry to see your Mother needed constant care.
Glad shes receiving it....
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Old 02-16-2010, 10:56 PM
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Fandy, I am Alcoholic and I rarely ever drank hard liquor. Maybe 2-3 times a year. I was a Pinot Grigio drinker for some dang reason. But, it went from 4-6 glasses to 3-4 bottles a night and that's when my habit had become an obssession. Regarding "functioning alcolholics," I was one of them too. But, once I got honest, I realized I was only functioning in that I still had my wife, kids, my job, plenty of money, never gotten a DWI, etc.. However, I was a miserable, isolated drinker that was close to imploding and losing my zest for life, not to mention I had Pancreatitis, fatty Liver and other GI issues. Alcohol controlled my entire life and I had simply managed to function just enough to get by. If it hadn't been for a really hard core yankee GI specialist I may have never gotten help. He got in my face and told me I had a problem and I needed to deal with it. I kicked and screamed for months but finally accepted my disease and now I am in recovery. I got my blood test the other day and my Liver function is back to normal. Amazing what sobriety can do for your health. But, one drink will lead me right back down that same dark road to death and I know it by the grace of God!
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Old 02-16-2010, 11:48 PM
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I am a raging Acoholic,Who has just awoke from a long!
And very dangerous slumber..My quest now is to get well and stay well,as one or 2 guys
have put things here,this is a life or death buisness,we are in here,playing with a time
bomb an not knowing when its going to go off is a dangerous way to play in life.. I am
on now my 3rd day..And after a brutal weekend of abuse my liver is so sore! throbbing,
feelin bruised and hurt...An is going to need some serious Tlc..I may yet summon up
the bottle to go visit my doc...After nearly 12yrs of everyday drinking..Wine an beer,
an get a check up...I know many have said here also about reachin a point.. Were
if you dont stop it could become the point of no return...I beleive this point with me
is almost reached..Almost 46 yrs old... CHANGE is gonna come alright.. The days of
behaving like a 20yr old irresponsible wreckless insensitive drunk..And the agonys
of mind that come with this package of life..Are about to be wiped.. And i hope i can
by doin these things can offer a little hope to others..This time round not afraid bring
it on...alcoholism... I Gotta a whole new angle on this.. Ready to install a whole new
package of thinking and outlook to the equation! at the end of the day,for me its
Black and White...good day to all and its a pleasure to read many good threads.
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