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Not sure what to do!

Old 02-15-2010, 08:06 PM
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Not sure what to do!

I've occasionally lurked on the SR boards for the past 2 or 3 years but I'm going to post.

I'm a single mom of 2 great kids and have a serious alcohol problem. It started about 8 yrs ago and I would have a beer or two with ex husband and am now drinking approx. 3/4ths of a fifth of vodka a night although I try to limit it to a pint. Every time I try to quit on my own I manage to stay sober for about 3-5 days before relapsing. I don't want my kids 10 & 6 to grow up with an alcoholic mom and can feel my drinking starting to affect my health.

Problem is I don't know what to do with the kids or money. I have a work at home job so I'm the caregiver for the kids all week as I have a flexible schedule. Ex husband has a demanding inflexible weekly schedule and would have to take a leave of absence. There's a good chance I would lose my job if I entered rehab for more than a week. I'm close to living paycheck to paycheck at the moment. I'm not sure what to do about mortgage, car payment, etc. Ex husband would be in the same boat.

I tried AA for a while but I live in a rural area with 3(Mon, Wed, Fri) AA meetings a week held at the county courthouse two towns away. I feel horrible & selfish and stupid that I can't stop without rehab.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and how did you get through it.
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:16 PM
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Could you arrange a long weekend, four days, for a medically supervised home detox? Or does it need to be away from home? I'm sorry you're having such difficulty. Have you talked to your doctor about quitting? Others may have more suggestions for you. I hope you can get sober and turn your life around while your kids are still young.

We are here to offer support and information to help you get and stay sober. Welcome to SR!
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:21 PM
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There is no shame in rehab. If that is what it takes for you to get sober, you should do it. If you were diagnosed with a different ailment like cancer, would you feel shame about seeking medical attention? Alcoholism is a disease, and one that is hard to overcome.

I understand that you have family & financial obligations to meet, and rehab may not be the best option as a whole. If there are other options for you to explore, then try those as well. Many people have stayed sober through this site alone, or a combination of this site plus the odd meeting.

There is always a way, if there is the will to get there. Sounds like you have the will, and it is just a matter of finding the right way for you given your circumstances.

It's great that you took the first step and joined the site. Best wishes to you, and keep posting.
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:34 PM
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Because of the ammount you are drinking I strongly suggest
an honest talk with your doctor is wise.
De toxing from alcohol alone can be dangerous
and you would scare your kids too.

This does not mean rehab ..it simply means a de tox
via meds if your doctor thinks necessary.

I'm glad you decided to post ....Welcome!
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:34 PM
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Hi changes
welcome to SR

I definitely think you should talk to your doctor if you haven't...not only is it a great idea healthwise but they may know of local resources we don't.

I've never done rehab or AA, but I know neither of them is a magic wand - both depend on us being totally committed to not drinking, and changing our life - and, to me, that means being up for whatever is needed.

Speak to as many people as you can, Changes, and get to know what your options are - then do whatever your best option is...with all your might

D
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:37 PM
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Thanks for the replies. I'm going to keep posting and hoping it will help. I'm tired of drinking and feeling bad in the morning. As I said, I can go a couple of days and than the cravings kick in and I'll try again about a month later and repeat the cycle.

One thing that I've found about AA & the SR boards is that it increases my alcohol cravings. If I stay super busy and just try to keep my mind off alcohol I don't the intense cravings that I get from reading these boards.
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Old 02-16-2010, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by changes View Post
Thanks for the replies. I'm going to keep posting and hoping it will help. I'm tired of drinking and feeling bad in the morning. As I said, I can go a couple of days and than the cravings kick in and I'll try again about a month later and repeat the cycle.

One thing that I've found about AA & the SR boards is that it increases my alcohol cravings. If I stay super busy and just try to keep my mind off alcohol I don't the intense cravings that I get from reading these boards.
Hi and welcome to posting at SR.

There is a difference between cravings (which is a physical body reaction to withdrawing from alcohol) and an obsession of the mind.

You do not get physical cravings by reading SR. What is probably happening is that reading certain things is triggering obsessive thoughts in your head which lead you to want to drink alcohol.

Alcohol is "cunning, baffling and powerful" and will do anything and everything to get you to drink. The obsession is very powerful and can appear in our mind in an instant. Your disease does not like the idea of you cutting off its supply so will do all it can to get you drinking again.

Knowing the difference between cravings and obsessive thoughts may help you to deal with what you go through when you visit this site.

If you are to have long term recovery from alcoholism you need to have a program to work and some kind of support. SR is a really good support resource. Don't listen to that cunning alcoholic mind which tells you that reading here makes things worse for you. Alcohol will always make things worse for you.

I hope you do have a chat with your doctor about detoxing at home if you can.
Keep us posted.
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Old 02-16-2010, 09:40 AM
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Just a suggestion, next time you get a craving why don't you post here or visit the chat room.
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Old 02-16-2010, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by changes View Post
I've occasionally lurked on the SR boards for the past 2 or 3 years but I'm going to post.

I'm a single mom of 2 great kids and have a serious alcohol problem. It started about 8 yrs ago and I would have a beer or two with ex husband and am now drinking approx. 3/4ths of a fifth of vodka a night although I try to limit it to a pint. Every time I try to quit on my own I manage to stay sober for about 3-5 days before relapsing. I don't want my kids 10 & 6 to grow up with an alcoholic mom and can feel my drinking starting to affect my health.

Problem is I don't know what to do with the kids or money. I have a work at home job so I'm the caregiver for the kids all week as I have a flexible schedule. Ex husband has a demanding inflexible weekly schedule and would have to take a leave of absence. There's a good chance I would lose my job if I entered rehab for more than a week. I'm close to living paycheck to paycheck at the moment. I'm not sure what to do about mortgage, car payment, etc. Ex husband would be in the same boat.

I tried AA for a while but I live in a rural area with 3(Mon, Wed, Fri) AA meetings a week held at the county courthouse two towns away. I feel horrible & selfish and stupid that I can't stop without rehab.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and how did you get through it.
I feel for you! I am in the same situation. Except I have not been able to go as long without drinking as you have.Good Luck!!!
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