How do you numb the pain then?
 

Ironically, alcohol is not the problem. The problem is the excruciating pain from this questionable existence, pointless relations and infuriating unfairness. I do not wish to drink ever again. I also never have/never will do any drugs. However, how do I stop this agony? How do I stop thinking?
How do you numb the pain?

I would start by getting into therapy- I see an addiction therapist.

pray to your HP

I understand how you feel.

I had reconnect spiritually and learn that I could like and love myself.

It`s an ongoing journey.

I agree that alcohol/drugs wasn't the problem but i learned that it was the primary culprit for the excruciating pain in my life. Yes, life has it's ups and downs but the vast majority of my problems were self-inflicted.

You can't stop thinking but you can work to change your relationship to your thoughts. Ever tried meditation?

nairbon, I do believe a lot of it as well can be the fact that it was always so easy to numb the pain. I have dealt with a lot of BS over the last 2 1/2 years of being sober and every situation is easier to deal with.

Also, I don't know what kind of "issues" you may have, but certainly counseling can be great in learning how to deal with some things you may need to deal with.

I also HIGHLY suggest a sponsor and working the 12 steps. I used to think "that's stupid, who really needs them?" until I actually did. Those 12 steps have given me the tools I need to stay sober every day and it's working!!

I totally feel for you, I really do. After getting sober we have so many feelings, thoughts, emotional baggage, that we haven't dealt with and it feels overwhelming.

Keep reading and posting, you know there's tons of support here for you. :grouphug:

nairbon,

For me, I couldn't numb the pain any longer, I had to heal it. Therapy helped a lot. Not drinking and learning how to avoid my self-induced dramas helped the healing too. It was like I had to stop torturing myself and learn new, positive ways to deal with my past.

It was painful but today I actually have peace in my life. I may not always be happy, but I am content.

Hope this helps.

Love,

Lenina

Hi nairbon

Welcome

I totally get what you mean as well.

For me, and it was a huge step - I had to stop trying to numb the pain...and deal with it instead.

It was hard, it was frightening and it was a little painful...but nowhere near as hard on me as the life I was living drinking and trying to self medicate.

I learned, as Anna said, to live and to love myself. It was the best choice I ever made.

I hope you decide to go and talk to someone - I think the therapy suggestion is a good one...and if you think you're an alcoholic, and find you can't stop drinking, there are any number of programmes out for support as well :)

Read around and post as much as you like

Hope to see you around here some more :)
D

Nairbon, I always have so much to learn, so I don't know how to "answer" your post, but I can reply to you. I believe you will find your own answers if you look at what you are saying yourself. I understand you when you say "ironically it isn't the alcohol." I used to smell beer so much...and you know what? It always tasted like CRAP. It was just different varieties of crap and I learned to make a medicine out of it. Well, it was a medicine that could have killed me. (Another irony that was sitting right there with me for years.) And I also notice that you drew a distinction between the different substances (alcohol vs drugs). I guess there are some differences, and I share with you the path of having not tried them....But something that would really make me feel a "wow" was the recognition that I am not just an alcoholic, but also a drug addict. (Alcohol is one of the oldest drugs around, it's just not what we think of when we hear the word "drugs"!) I think it actually helped me to look at that fact, it might have helped me. The "pain" and the quest for something to numb is what we share. Good luck, you will do great as you put a stop to it.