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can't understand why I can't control it.

Old 02-15-2010, 12:08 PM
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can't understand why I can't control it.

First off, hello to all. I'm here because I cannot control my drinking. More specifically, I can't stop once I start. I don't drink very often but when I do, it turns into a 3 or 4 day binge. I've lost jobs, gotten into car accidents and fist fights that I don't even remember because of my alcohol affliction. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. I've been to AA and didn't like it. Too much god rhetoric. thanks
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:25 PM
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There are other recovery programs out there, AA is the most well known. Here's a link to them:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

There are people here who use only SR and/or other 'private' methods, such as counseling or out patient therapy.

I hope you can find something that works for you. Welcome to SR!
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:25 PM
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Hey jackson. I'm sure you're going to get a lot of great messages here. I suggest reading through all the other threads too in regards to 12 step recovery, non secular, etc.

I am an atheist by the way and I still attend AA meetings. It is a spiritual program, however you are NOT required to believe in God or a God. It's the steps that makes the program of recovery work.

Also, I'm willing to bet you're going to get tons of responses in regards to "controlling" your drinking. I think we've all tried it, it just doesn't work. I've tried waiting 'til 5PM, then noon seemed just as well since at least it still wasn't morning and before I knew it I was having a beer while getting ready for work at 7-8 in the morning. It was a horrible way to live and it was (for me) a point where I wasn't even really getting drunk as much as I was trying to maintain myself so I could function.

I certainly wasn't that way years ago, and I'm talking at least over ten years, it was progressive and I was very sick in the end. So glad I'm not there any more.

Welcome to SR. Hope you will keep reading and posting. I'm going to put a link here to the non-secular area so maybe you'll find some posts there that may help on the "God" thing.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:29 PM
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Hey Jackson,

Athiest to the core here.

Easy to get past the god thing, just have to suck it up for the first dozen (or more) meetings. Then it's not a bother. Many of us are in the rooms. We just don't feel the need to spout our beliefs. There's more like you then you know. And I live pretty much in the bible belt!

Anyway, drank like you, hit a few park cars myself. Being annoyed at the first meetings is really easier, isn't it?
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:29 PM
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I can't understand why i can't stop drinking and drugs once i start either. I've long quit trying. I've finally, after prolonged suffering, reached the simple place of not caring about why i'm this way and focusing on my solution to the problem.

Once i start i cannot stop. This is a fact i've proven to myself over and over and over. Sooo, i just don't start. Simple, right? Simple, not easy. I also had a strong aversion to 12 step programs when i first found myself in one back in 2005. The god rhetoric turned me off as well. Over time, i learned that i really was just focusing on the differences in what people were saying with my beliefs and looking to judge everyone and everything i encountered in the rooms. I ignored the gigantic piece that stated that the higher power thing was entirely up to my conception and that it was a god of my understanding, not anyone else's. It took me years to grasp that(and many other things) but i am now happily a member of NA.

But, 12 step programs are certainly not the only way to get/stay clean. There's smart recovery and lots of other resources i'm ignorant about. Look around this forum and you'll find tons of information.

Welcome to SR. Good luck in finding something that works and try not to worry about why you can't stop. That's pretty much irrelevent once you reach a place of acceptance of that truth.
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:35 PM
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Welcome Jackson,

I know how frustrating it is to recognize that alcohol is controlling you and that you cannot control it. I was that person. Know that you can stop and we are here to support you.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by jackson5150 View Post
First off, hello to all. I'm here because I cannot control my drinking. More specifically, I can't stop once I start. I don't drink very often but when I do, it turns into a 3 or 4 day binge. I've lost jobs, gotten into car accidents and fist fights that I don't even remember because of my alcohol affliction. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. I've been to AA and didn't like it. Too much god rhetoric. thanks

Long time ago, I drank like you
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:37 PM
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Hi Jackson

I spent twenty years trying to understand why I couldn't control my drinking. In the end I just had to accept that was how it was, and commit myself fully, and daily, to not drinking.

Whatever support structure you choose is up to you. I encourage you to check out the link Least posted

welcome to SR
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:14 PM
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Trying to understand it really won't getting you sober. That's picking apart a mental / physical disease that's truly baffling. Alcohol changes your thoughts, at a fundamental level. Trying to understand it while under the influence or still obsessed is like (as the standard saying goes) trying to figure out why your pants are on fire. Where's this heat? Oxygen? Fuel? How's it all mix? Why's it hot? What'll it do to me? Can I test it? Think it through? Elimate the oxygen, but keep the fuel and heat? Take the fuel away? Study it?

Instead, just try to put it out in any way possible

I was there, though...but self-awareness didn't get me sober. In fact, I got MORE messed up the more I tried to control it.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:20 PM
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As a couple of folks have already said, don't get hung up on the God thing in AA. It really isn't that important and you can be successful in the AA program without it. AA certainly isn't for everyone, and several alternate programs have already been recommended. If AA isn't for you that's ok, but be careful you're not using the God thing as an excuse rather than a valid reason.
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Old 02-15-2010, 03:33 PM
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Hi Jackson and welcome.

In AA plenty believe in plenty of different types of god - of their own understanding. So put aside what you have always believed about God, you don't need that in AA.

A lot in AA call God a Higher Power. Really this is all we are believing in - a power greater than ourselves.

Are you the highest power that there is? If you answer no, then you already believe in a higher power.
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Old 02-15-2010, 04:37 PM
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Jackson, on the AA and god thing, I understand. A lot of years ago I went to some AA meetings, and the mention of god (or even the "washed out" spirituality verbiage) was hard for me to deal with. I had been calling myself atheist for a long time, so it was hard to be receptive. I didn't stick with the meetings, but I still think back to them now and remember very much that I did in fact appreciate, and that was the fact that there were so many DIFFERENT people who all had something in common that held them together. It can be comforting to think that all those people, some of whom might never have had the desire to associate with each other in other contexts, actually come together out of the recognition of the experience.

AA doesn't work for everybody early on, some people need more time; other people can make it work sooner. I'm not going to judge you for not wanting to go, but I will tell you that you deserve to hear the words "I understand." Some people go on to live in misery while keeping the drinking in their lives; others say their outcome would have been death if they hadn't stopped. I remember all these words, and know what I was hearing now a little more first-hand

I don't call my atheist anymore or even agnostic. I just say I don't know all the answers.

Good luck and hope you will connect with the method that works for you. I have my 90 days tomorrow [sigh!], and am glad for it.
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Old 02-15-2010, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by jackson5150 View Post
First off, hello to all. I'm here because I cannot control my drinking. More specifically, I can't stop once I start. I don't drink very often but when I do, it turns into a 3 or 4 day binge. I've lost jobs, gotten into car accidents and fist fights that I don't even remember because of my alcohol affliction. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. I've been to AA and didn't like it. Too much god rhetoric. thanks
try another group? maybe?
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Old 02-15-2010, 07:31 PM
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Hi.....

Your certainly in the right place to discuss your situation.
Many of us are winning over alcohol.

Welcome!
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