So many failed attempts...

Old 02-14-2010, 06:08 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 39
Dave I have sent you a private message
Beligerent is offline  
Old 02-15-2010, 07:29 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Howdy Dave,

Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
Any advice on staying sober for good?
Yes. Find somebody in AA who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of taking the 12 Steps and have him walk you through that process. I have never seen this fail. Dr. Bob, one of the cofounders of AA had this to say after he had worked with a few hundred hopeless drunks:
Originally Posted by AA BB 1st Ed
But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all, and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when getting another drink.
Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
I find that I drink out of boredom and the fact that I'm lonely. I find that I drink also to shut off my mind. Sometimes my mind just won't stop racing.
That's what I thought as well. I drank because I was bored, anxious, couldn't sleep, excited, needed to celebrate, deserved to relax, was angry, somebody wronged me, the world wasn't fair. I drank for any number of seemingly good reasons. But none of them made a whole lot of sense given the consequences of my drinking. I came to learn that I drank because I was powerless not to. I had a mental obsession with it. As the result of the Steps, that obsession has been gone for a long time.

Let me ask you, if being bored is a good reason to drink, given the almost certain consequences of what happens when you drink. Maybe there is something else going on.
keithj is offline  
Old 02-15-2010, 09:32 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
RobbyRobot's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by ANGELINA243 View Post
Staying clean/sober is definitely easier than getting clean/sober. Eventually you do get to the point where you don't struggle daily with thoughts of whether or not to use or drink. I am free from all that today. I am not merely existing anymore. I enjoy being clean today.
Yes Dave, I can say the same as Angelina, although it may not seem that way for you yet that staying clean becomes easier as you struggle through getting sober. It does get much better.

Many of us required real changes in our daily lives -- our friends our jobs and even our relationships with families and loved ones required an honest evaluation as we came to grips with the surrendering of ourselves to the life of sobriety.

Just not "drinking" is not enough to make the struggle easier. A changed life makes the struggle "easier". Keep on a path of recovery that works for you Dave, and you'll have the same freedoms and joys of sobriety that all sober alcoholics have and share together. You can do it.
RobbyRobot is offline  
Old 02-15-2010, 03:09 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
Hevyn's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,246
Hi Dave! It was the "oh, I can just have one" way of thinking that damaged my life almost beyond repair. In 25 yrs. I made many attempts at sobriety but always failed, thinking I could control it using willpower. When I found SR I was on a month long binge & was desperate to get off the rollercoaster. The people here gave me the courage to banish booze from my life. It was no longer fun or relaxing - just poison to me.

Yes, it does get better and easier - I was in a state of shock for awhile. I knew I couldn't pick up again, but was afraid I'd never feel any better than I did in the beginning. As the days went by I learned to live again in a whole new way. You'll go through many phases as your mind and body heal from the damage.

We're glad you're here with us! Congratulations on your decision to give yourself a fresh start.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 02-15-2010, 03:28 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Spawn's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
Does it get easier as time goes by? I'd like to get to the point where it's not a big deal, where I just don't think about drugs or alcohol anymore....
Do you ever miss getting drunk or high?
At first it was hard to picture life without booze or drugs,...that's only because of the amount of time I spent on them. So to fill that void I went to meetings,...I volunteered and I started up some old child-hood hobbies. Do I miss the using or drinking,..not at all.
Using and drinking wasn't real,.......recovery is real,'s awesome
Spawn is offline  
Old 02-15-2010, 11:08 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Raleigh NC
Posts: 100
Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
What was your first AA meeting like?
Did you have to speak?
Did you have to get a sponsor right away?
Did you feel like a loser or were surrounded by people you thought were beneath you? (btw, I'm not a snob, I'm just saying...)
Regarding your question about people being beneath you:
My sponsor is an oncologist, his sponsor is a successful retired businessman, the meeting I went to tonight is loaded with Physicians, Attorneys and other succesful professionals like myself. I also go to meetings with people that were or are currently living in half-way houses, homeless shelters and etc.. I also thought that I would feel better than the people around me before I learned that I had the same story they did but I was trying to quit before i hit ROCK bottom. As alcoholics our EGO's are huge and we are absolutely unable to see it until we start to experience some real humility. If you go to a meeting, there is only one requirement and that's the desire to quit drinking. If anyone tells you otherwise, find someone else to talk to. Now, I suggest that you announce yourself when they ask if there are newcomers because people will want to say hello and give you some phone numbers to call if you "choose" to do so. They will probably ask if you have any questions about the meeting or AA. I can't see why you wouldn't give it a real chance. Getting sober alone is a tough deal. Its much easier hanging out with a room full of people who totally understand the way your mind and body process alcohol
ghal is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:57 AM.