Therapy?
 

Hi again. Sorry for all the questions right off the bat.

So, I said in my first post that I'm considering private therapy. In poking around the internet, it seems that a lot of people believe that they drink because of some underlying issue, and only when that underlying issue is uncovered through therapy, and then treated, does it become possible to stop drinking.

That almost sounds too good to be true. I mean, it would be great if there was a reason for my drinking, other than the fact that I like to get f'd up. And it would be great if therapy could "cure" me.

Honestly, I've had a pretty good life with lots of opportunity, great family, no tragedy or trauma... I'm not sure there's much to "uncover."

So, whadya think on therapy? Worth a shot?

It seems to me that since drinking too much is bad for you, mentally and physically, that therapy can be very helpful in changing behaviors/lifestyles that lead to drinking too much. I'd give it a good try and see what you find out.

My reasons for drinking were pretty much the same as yours and my reason for quitting less noble. My wife gave me an ultimatum.
I considered therapy at first too but decided to just modify my behavior and not drink anymore and if that did not work i would try something else. My marriage depends on it.
If anyone has other issues I would definitely tell them to go to therapy and work on those.
For me, it has been over a year and so far so good. The desire to get messed up has left me.

Just find YOUR own truth. Therapy might help.

Welcome to SR!!

Mark

I almost wish my wife would give me an ultimatum. She's never asked me to stop drinking and, in fact, I suspect she may not want me to totally quit. I'm a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky drunk. I think I'm more fun to be around when I get drunk--much more social, much more easy going. I can get uptight and easily annoyed when sober. I guess I need to work on that.

When I first decided I needed to take a good look at my drinking, I went to a therapist. I only went once, though. She pretty much told me I was bored and I needed to fill my life with more things (now that my kids are getting older and not needing me every second.) She also said AA probably wasn't for me...that a lot of the people there had hard core drinking problems. (Guess she didn't think 6-8 beers 4-5 times a week was hard core enough. ha.) She was probably right about the boredom, but I don't think you should deter people from AA..how "extreme" someone's drinking is, shouldn't be relevant.

I'm the same in that I have no real problems...but this one, of course. I've concluded for me, that more than needing therapy, I need to break the habit and the obsessive thinking. I think a recovery program would help with this more. I'd never advise someone not to go, though. We need to do whatever works and try a bunch of stuff! Good luck! :)

(Oh, and I'm quite sure my husband doesn't want me to totally quit, either. I'm sure he wishes I could just stop drinking alone, on nights when there's really no reason to be doing so. The problem is, my "social" drinking eventually leads to doing just that. Bummer.)

Sounds very familiar. Thanks for your reply.

I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their adult life, it very rarely hurts. My therapist told me I was not an alcoholic that I drank to "self medicate" so when I hit my 'bottom' I just made a very conscience decision to not drink and haven't since that time and never had a physical craving. I tried AA meetings and they weren't really for me, however, the AA literature, the steps (adjusted to suit me personally) turned my life around and continue to be a guiding factor in my life. Some of us are just biologically (my opinion) unable to drink moderately, and we have to accept that fact and not drink, or face some really horrendous consequences. Good luck to you and welcome to SR.

I know for myself, I had lots of reasons why I was drinking, and I talked to a couple of therapists, but I didn't stop drinking. If one excuse was removed I came up with another. In the end I accepted I was drinking with no excuses, but still I drank. Fortunately I have been sober for a while now.

So at least for me, even if there was a cause that triggered my drinking, addressing the cause didn't help with stopping the drinking, because drinking created its own problems.

There is no particular harm talking to a therapist. As for myself, one of my regrets is that I wasn't able to get sober sooner, so keep this in mind if you are considering a therapist as a way to avoid attacking the drinking.

Therapy is great imo, but we that are 'problem' drinkers drink because we're alcoholic. Therapy might make us 'well adjusted' alcoholics, but we'll still probably drink at the end of the day. I like to quote Toby Rice Drews on the subject, alcoholism is a primary mental illness, you can't even properly diagnose an active alcoholic. TRD being a therapist, btw. Not referring to you, but get all of your 'issues' and neuroses worked out in therapy and you're still gonna be an alcoholic. Better to quit drinking, then use therapy as an adjunct.

I took and am taking the 3-step approach:

1. AA
2. Individual Therapy with a recovering alcoholic of 13 years.
3. Psychiatrist - She specializes in alcohol abuse recovery and has me on non-addictive medications to help in my early stages.

I have to say that this three-tier approach, although I'm sure NOT for everyone, has been a life saver for me. Although it sounds like it would take a ton of time with this approach, it really doesn't. I see my therapist once every other week, my pscyh once a week (very short period of time just to monitor my meds and make adjustments) and AA twice a day - once at lunch and once at night.

I've heard that you have to be ready to do whatever it takes to get and remain sober. I'm taking those words as the Gospel truth and am trying to live it out as best I can.

RacerX

I started my quest for a drug free lifestyle with therapy. In therapy I learned how to put together a personalized addiction treatment program. My program helps me develop the skills I need in order to remain drug free. Something I have carried through all the different modalities of self-help recovery: more recovery tools for my program.

I never tried therapy but I do believe I had underlying issues that lead me to drink - but they were many and varied....and complex I'm still working through them.

I do believe it's too good to be true to think that you can deal with your underlying issues and then be simultaneously and miraculously cured of alcoholism.

I've had to work on my alcoholism too, and commit myself to abstinence :)

D