Notices

First timer looking for advice

Old 02-08-2010, 11:37 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19
First timer looking for advice

Hi all! I've been drinking 3-4 glasses of wine now every evening for roughly 15 years now. I've tried to quit a couple of times this year but had no support in place and went right back to drinking. Recently, I've developed a new intolerance for alcohol that is helping me sort of speak, to try again to quit. Lately, when I drink I break out in a red rash on my eyelids and face and my eyes burn and itch. Of course, I figured out pretty quick that if I keep drinking it eventually goes away. However, deep down I know it's a sign that my body is fed up with the alcohol. So I'm here for help to finally once and for all kick this habit. My biggest worry is that my boyfriend, whom I live with is also an alcoholic (nightly wine drinker) and I love him but don't know if I can successfully quit while surrounded by it and he's not even slightly interested in giving it up. Any advice you can offer in this area would be greatly appreciated. I plan on making a doctor appointment to do a liver panel and see how badly my liver has been damaged as well, because it has occurred to me that maybe my symptoms are related to liver damage. If anyone else has experienced these sort of symptoms please share.

I appreciate any who are willing to advise!
mfreetofly is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 12:11 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 97,179
I'm glad you're seeing a doctor. You might want to ask him/her for medical help in quitting drinking. When you stop your withdrawals can be anything from inconvenient to severe/dangerous, so please tell your doctor you're quitting and ask if s/he can help.

As to your bf drinking... it may be somewhat of an obstacle for you to stop drinking while he's in the home still drinking... but it can be done. Remember, you are giving it up for YOUR health and well being. Do whatever you need to do to stop and to stay sober, regardless of what he does.

We are here to offer support and information for you in your quest to get sober. Come here to vent, to ask questions, or just to read our stories of recovery. I wish you the best.

Welcome to SR!
least is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 12:59 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19
Withdrawal

I'm fairly certain I'll be ok during the withdrawal phase, as I have actually quit successfully several times this year for a week or two. I had very minimal withdrawal symptoms both times. Mostly just insomnia, cravings, and some night sweats. Mostly, I'm worried about how to keep it going. I always seem to talk myself into the "just one drink" and then shortly after, "just a few drinks tonight." Before you know it I'm back to drinking every night again. I always seem capable of making it for a week or two but that's about it so far. Not sure how to make it past that time period. Also, if anyone has any ideas how to keep your mind off of it during the witching hours of 7-midnight I'd love to hear it. I never drink before 7pm, so night time is the hardest time for me. Thanks for your advice!
mfreetofly is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:20 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi and welcome.

For me the solution to not drinking is the 12 step progam of AA. The only requirement for membership is "a desire to stop drinking".

There is plenty of support there. It sounds like you could do with some non-drinking support around you.

There is also the family and friends forum on this site to help you deal with living with an alcoholic partner.
Keep in touch.
intention is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:31 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by mfreetofly View Post
I always seem to talk myself into the "just one drink" and then shortly after, "just a few drinks tonight." Before you know it I'm back to drinking every night again.
This is exactly what alcoholics do. The great mental obsession that we can have just one, or this time will be different, or really not much thought at all. It's the nature of the affliction.

I did the same thing you are doing. And even when things got much, much worse, I would find some insanely trivial reason for picking up that first drink. And then off I'd go again. Over and over, more and more consequences.

Originally Posted by AA Big Book 1st Ed.
They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
That's become the adopted opinion of many recovered alcoholics who did they same thing you are doing. Over and over. I found that when I started to accept their viewpoint on this, I too, became a recovered alcoholic instead of repeating that cycle over and over.
keithj is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:37 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Horselover's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I am not in AA, BUT if your boyfriend is going to continue to drink and you have no apparent support nearby then I would highly suggest you look into a meeting of some sort. There's Smart Recovery too, but you wondered what you would do during the witching hour and this might be an answer. It also would give you people to call so that you don't take that first drink that leads to the next and the next.

I can't help you on the rash, but I look forward to hearing how you make out with your doctor. Very important to see the doctor.
Horselover is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:42 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19
I'm not a very religious person, more spiritual I guess and that's what's kept me from trying the 12 step program. I'm just not a person who's comfortable talking about God and praying. I mean I guess I do believe there is a higher power in the universe, but I don't put a name to it. I'm afraid my lack of strong religious beliefs might make the program not work for me? Any thoughts on that? I admit to not knowing a lot about how it works.
mfreetofly is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:43 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19
What's Smart Recovery?
mfreetofly is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:55 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Horselover's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I believe AA states "A higher power of your understanding" and I have heard that some use the group as their higher power. I think it matters not whether you believe in God or not.

Smart Recovery - SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction

Hope that helps. We all take various methods and paths, but our destination is the same.
Horselover is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 02:14 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by mfreetofly View Post
I'm not a very religious person, more spiritual I guess and that's what's kept me from trying the 12 step program. I'm just not a person who's comfortable talking about God and praying. I mean I guess I do believe there is a higher power in the universe, but I don't put a name to it. I'm afraid my lack of strong religious beliefs might make the program not work for me? Any thoughts on that? I admit to not knowing a lot about how it works.
I don't believe in God either. Highly educated, highly intelligent atheist, me ;-)

But I believe in Life Itself. I believe in goodness, say. Those things are far beyond the grasp of my human mind. When I think of Life Itself -- or even just Existence -- I can have transcendent feelings. My lungs absorb oxygen and I have NO IDEA how that happens, though it is part of me. Strange, isn't it? So for me, a higher power is not higher, but more a pervasive sense of an existence that is vast. One could use that as something to rely on.

There is a lot of flexibility here. So what if someone does not believe in God? They believe in AIR, don't they? There is something to believe in all around us. I believe in .. just existence. It is vast enough a concept for me.

I don't believe in God at all. But there is no void, there, where god should be. There is just a felt sense of existence -- which is vaster than I can comprehend. I rely on that, sometimes. After all, it is the thing that gives the molecules in my body their reality.

But I believe in every thing that believers in God believe in.
In that regard, we are more alike than different.

I have no problem at all with people, processes, groups that invoke God.
I view it as more a difference in words and language than any real difference.

Still, I'm an atheist, though!
redwine is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 02:37 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,738
Hi mfreetofly

Welcome to SR.

With night time, or any kind of habitual drinking, I think it's very important to vary your routine as much as possible. Maybe engage in activities you wouldn't normally do - start a hobby, cook dinner at a different time...be places you wouldn't normally be - go to a movie, or bowling or whatever...mix it up....and above all try and keep occupied.

With respect to programmes, there's actually quite a few recovery programmes out there - this link gives a representative sample

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

I'm not in any programme myself but I think HL was right when she said at worst a program might be a partial answer to the night cravings (again the routine change thing) and it would give you numbers to call and real life people to talk to.

And, of course, you'll always find help and support here

Hope to see you around some more
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 02:51 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Well, I'm on my way
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: El Paso, Texas
Posts: 276
I find procrastinating useful. "I'd like a drink. Well, I'm not going to do it now. I'll think about it later." Repeat. It's only a little trick, one thing in the arsenal.
mariechi is offline  
Old 02-08-2010, 03:17 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19
I like that procrastinating line you use to think about having a drink later but not now. I'll have to try that out. I'm probably going to try and find a group to try as well. I live in New York City so there have to be a lot of them near me. I'm a little nervous about my boyfriend's reaction to my attending AA meetings though, so I might have to lie and tell him I'm going to some other kind of class. He's already challenged by my desire to "cut back." I haven't told him I'm quitting completely because I've failed at it so many times before. How's that for confidence? However, I've never reached out and tried to find others like this forum before so maybe with the right friends and support who are all trying to accomplish the same goal it will be different this time. Thanks all!
mfreetofly is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:09 AM.