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Old 02-06-2010, 08:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Back and not sober please help


So I moved and everything has been cool but i was super snappy with my daughter today, witnessed a plane crash and finished my tat and during all this I knew I was going to drink...going to buy the bottle to 'ease my pain" and I did and I have and I feel terrible...and so scared...ever since I stopped drinking I had overwhelming cravings for a man and feeling very insecure-I am attractive-how is it I can't find someone...I know I know trading one for the other so I went back to the one that is easiest to get to...just need some advice..tomorrow is a new day just feel so depressed and lonely right now
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I am 41 days sober now and it was not easy. That is unfortunate you picked up, but these things happen and one can move on if they want to.

I am a man but I may feel something similar to you. I was in relationships for a long time. My last real one was about four years long. Personally I am an idiot and think I can help people and get burned in the end. I am also somewhat co-dependent perhaps as I often feel like I need to be in a relationship or I tend to be miserable. Miserable for me often meant sitting at home listening to Nirvana or Johnny Cash swigging Jack Daniels or some other such foolishness. Pretty much since I was 15 I have had a girlfriend, I went from one relationship to the next over and over, except for one year when I was too into partying to bother with a gf.

But now I find myself by myself and in recovery. I am taking the advise of AA and not bringing anyone into my mess for a while. Which is lonely but I keep myself busy. I am finding that my need for female companionship to make me happy might be based in the fact that I am not happy myself and I seek this basic need in other people. I think that I need to be more content, if not happy with myself before I can have a meaningful relationship, and to do less would only cause less happiness for me in the end. But I am still working on this stuff, as a matter of fact things are coming to me as I type this right now.

I too would consider myself good looking and I have been working on making that true on the inside as well. I am eating healthier, exercising, and learning more in school. I have discovered learning for learnings sake, not just to pass the class. I am also working on improving my spiritual self and my personality. I think that getting myself back to where I should be is all I need to worry about now. When I get there the time will come and I will find someone. I am where I need to be.

I was so depressed the first two weeks of my sobriety I could hardly eat or sleep. It sucked. I started to come out of it when I went to AA. I ditched most of my friends because they were all bad for me. I have almost no friends now, no gf, just me and my people at AA. I have meet some awesome people in the rooms though, people that seem like they genuinely care and are good people. I don't know what I would be doing now without AA, surely not as good as I am! And I never pictured myself as going to AA but it works....
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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hi again akazia21

welcome back

One of the things I had to learn was that I had to deal with my drinking first before I could tackle the other areas of my life.

Sometimes that was tough, and I was sometimes impatient, but I know now I needed to be secure in my sobriety first or I was just building on a house of cards.

Whats your recovery plan?

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Old 02-06-2010, 09:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yes many of us had false starts on our way
to solid recovery.....I did too.
Do you have a plan in mind to stay sober?

When I started AA....I decided to take a "man break"
giving myself time to consentrate on my recovery.
Worked out great....and the oddest thing.....
the men I found interesting in sobriety
were totally different than the ones I had when drinking.


Blessings to you and your daughter
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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NEJeeper......
Thanks for sharing your experience and progress
Forward we go...side by side
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Old 02-06-2010, 10:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
....and the oddest thing.....
the men I found interesting in sobriety
were totally different than the ones I had when drinking.
Really? LOL, Carol!!
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Old 02-07-2010, 04:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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THis says it all. Never give up on yourself. Keep trying until you 'get it'. It took me quite a while but I think I've finally 'got it'. Don't beat yourself up. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and keep moving forward.
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Old 02-07-2010, 09:37 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi Akazia, A lot of us don't get it right the 1st time (or 2nd, or...) and pick up the drinking again. The reasons are varied, but whatever they are it's not worth it. The important thing is that you have the desire to stop. Hang in there and keep coming back.
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Old 02-07-2010, 01:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I hear you. Just posted two relapses (that I even am thinking of as "experiments with drinking" - how sick it that?) and now need to re-commit. Thought at 90 days I was doing so well, and obviously so cocky about things. I don't want to end up back where I was with the daily need to consume alcohol. Liking who I've been, and it was tough enough to give it up, that I'm appalled that I'm playing with fire.
I'm with you in spirit. I know you can do this thing.
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