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Old 02-06-2010, 10:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Is it OK for now to think this way?


I am on Day 14. I attended my 7th AA meeting this morning and asked someone today to be my sponsor. I have been reading my BB and look forward to starting on step work.

But right now my sobriety is definately day by day. I can maintain that for now. But only because I can't commit to the fact "I can never drink again". I can maintain the days sobriety as long as somewhere in the back of my mind I can tell myself this isn't forever. I have that "out" if I choose. That makes it doable for me to not drink TODAY. To tell myself NEVER again won't let me be sober TODAY.

Can I use that bad thinking to stay sober TODAY until I gather my toolbox and start the step work with my new sponsor? I know once I grow I can let that thinking go, but for now its working for me.
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Old 02-06-2010, 10:38 AM   #2 (permalink)
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If it keeps you sober to be sober just for today, why not? Whatever works! :ghug3
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Old 02-06-2010, 10:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"Can I use that bad thinking to stay sober TODAY until I gather my toolbox and start the step work with my new sponsor? I know once I grow I can let that thinking go, but for now its working for me."

Absolutely, I started out with the thought of just one year. Then, the thought of after the kids are grown and I retire. Of course today, after hard work on myself, I can't imagine ever wanting too.

Oh, and I hope you don't refrain from sharing things like this with your sponsor. :-)
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Old 02-06-2010, 10:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
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All you really have to do is stay sober for today and today only. All any of us really has is today. At least this is how it was explained to me. Don't worry about the future just yet, when and if it gets here then worry about it. But for now, all you have to worry about is today. And if it helps just worry about staying in the moment. With time you'll progress as you work with your sponsor. But, it's not bad to just not drink for today. Hope this is helpful.

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Old 02-06-2010, 10:41 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMyTiara View Post
Can I use that bad thinking to stay sober TODAY until I gather my toolbox and start the step work with my new sponsor? I know once I grow I can let that thinking go, but for now its working for me.
Let's just say your thinking just is, thoughts only have power when we act on them. After a period of time, the white knuckling will subside and sobriety will become second nature. One day at a time gets misused re/sobriety, should be emphasized that it's more a way of life, living in the now, not dwelling on the past and not morbidly concerned with the future. Sounds like you're doing okay, congratulations on your 14 days!
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Old 02-06-2010, 11:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Tiara,
Congrats on 14 days, and having taken active measures to deal with your problems.

I do remember that especially in the beginning, that I also progressed on the day to day approach, and I also remember worrying about the "forever" part. With the time, and being busy working on my recovery, there came acceptance. For me it became more about the things I don't want, as in: "I don't ever want to go back to this" because for me that was more important than anything positive I ever associated with drinking. Anything that keeps you sober one day and that you can then apply the next day. It's still pretty early in you recovery and everything will get better with time. In my opinion, staying in the today is good, (take a look at the quotes in my signature )

Recovery is a process, and just take care of it one step at a time. I can't say when the real moment came that I was ok with the thought of sobriety being a permanent decision, but it will come eventually. Don't feel pressured to achieve evreything in two weeks, it is normal that recovery takes time.

Although I do not use a 12 step recovery program, I go to meetings, work very actively on my recovery and did some things that are part of 12 step programs, like making an inventory and amends. I had a genuine moment of surrender, and that was what jump started my work on recovery. I am sure that while you are working th steps, you will be able to gather a lot of tools and support and you will learn to cope with things while being sober. Give it time, and as long as you are working on your recovery, your quality of life in sobriety will get better and better. It's worth it, and I wish you all the best on your journey,
S
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Old 02-06-2010, 11:29 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Well done on your progress....

Are you aware of PAWS?

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Hope you continue your sober journey..
It's really such a great way of living.
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Old 02-06-2010, 11:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
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If it keeps you sober today then that is what's important imo. The great thing about it is that you won't always feel like that so by just doing what you're doing and making sure that just for today you stay sober then it is buying you time to be able to work on your recovery and heal.

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Old 02-06-2010, 01:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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For me the emphasis has to be on why I am not drinking, not how long I am not drinking for.

I am an alcoholic and I cannot drink (even if that is just for today)


Well done on taking action towards your recovery today by getting a sponsor.
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Old 02-06-2010, 01:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree with everyone else here KMT...

although now I fully appreciate Intentions point, I cannot lie - I was several months in before I realised I wanted to be sober tomorrow as well

Keep working it
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Old 02-06-2010, 08:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The day before i went to AA i was asked by a counselor i had just started seeing whether i really wanted to stop drinking, i thought about it and smiled, no not really it is all i know i just want my life to change and i dont know how to do it...my sponsor said that i had to stay sober to work the steps otherwise i would be working off a booze fuelled brain and that wouldnt work...made complete sense to me, i knew i was pretty insane so...whatever you have to do to not drink whilst you are working the steps is all good:-)
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Old 07-14-2013, 02:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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with time the days do add up

Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMyTiara View Post

But right now my sobriety is definately day by day.

I can maintain that for now.
that's all we do KMT

we just stay sober today

and with time the days do add up

best of luck wished for you

from

Mountainman
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Old 07-14-2013, 02:47 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Maybe a different perspective here, and I have only a few more days under my belt than you (43 as of today), so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm really trying to make sure to identify those thoughts in my head that try and tell me I can drink again someday as being firmly related to my addictive self, and it's not actually me talking.

After I do that, I then tell that voice to go f**k itself. But that's just me.
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:11 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It took me two years of sobriety before I could really get my arms around not drinking again. I stay sober a day at a time and I likely always will. Forever is way too far out the future for me. I am willing to do what I need to do on a daily basis to stay sober that day and I will commit to doing that forever
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Thread is from February 2010
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Grungehead View Post
Thread is from February 2010
hey it took me 30 years to quit drinking just because I'm three years behind on SR posts is progress
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Old 07-14-2013, 04:01 PM   #17 (permalink)
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our hope must be to remain sober

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrSober View Post

I'm really trying to make sure to identify those thoughts in my head that try and tell me I can drink again someday
if I keep telling my self that I will be able to drink someday
but just not today
I just may wake up tomorrow and think this is the day I've been waiting for
I don't ever entertain the though of drinking someday
played that game in my mind before
and ended up drunk -- yet again

we just don't drink One Day At A Time
and we don't set ourselves up with the thought of maybe tomorrow

our hope must be to remain sober for the rest of our lives
if we are alcoholic drinkers such as I'm

Mountainman
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Old 07-14-2013, 04:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Thread is from February 2010
I kind of just pulled it up

so as to see how she was doing

Mountainman
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Old 07-14-2013, 04:26 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I don't think it's bad thinking. AA is a one day at a time program. I think the same as you and have strung together 8 months. I can't say I won't ever drink again because I simply just don't know. I am an alcoholic so it's possible ..every 24 hours I have sober is a gift. If I keep doing what I am doing those days will hopefully turn to years but it's really not a concern as the present moment is all I have
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Old 07-14-2013, 05:05 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob View Post
I kind of just pulled it up

so as to see how she was doing

Mountainman
that made me laugh and good, lol.

the first time i laughed properly in days.

thanks.

i actually read the whole thread too without noticing.

i hope she's well and let's us know how she's doing.
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