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Old 02-05-2010, 06:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Sober_or_dry?


I know I am an alcoholic, no question about it.
What I'm not quite sure about is whether I'm sober or just dry.
How do you tell the difference?
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I've never fully understood the "dry" concept, but I think it has to do with one's attitude and progress in recovery. If you are white knuckling recovery, which we do in the beginning I believe, and it continues that way then I believe you might be classified as dry. If you are working on change in your life whether through an AA program or one of your own making, but you are truly changing your mindset and your way of life then I would consider that a sober life. Totally just an opinion that I hold on to though.
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:11 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Saphie!

I expect that you will get a lot of feedback on this topic...

For what it's worth, my 2 cents is ask yourself

"Am I happy...content...serene? Do I feel like I am enjoying life, or just slogging along? Do I feel that my life is fulfilling ....complete...Do I see myself handling things with less resentment/expectations....Do I bottle things up, or address them head on....

Your answers should give you some indication....Obviously, we are not static beings and life is life...but in general, how do you feel???
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
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When I first quit drinking, I was miserable. I quit drinking because I blacked out and did sh!tty stuff, and I didn't want a repeat performance. In order to embrace the best sobriety had to offer, I had to turn to the recovery community to learn a whole new way to live. Today I have a wonderful life, and I am enjoying exploring my spiritual side, which had been drown out for my entire adult life.
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I call myself 'recovering".

That has a positive note to it and expresses how I feel about the journey. It is ongoing and fulfilling.
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Old 02-05-2010, 12:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I also prefer 'in recovery' because, to me, it's about so much more than just not drinking...which I guess is the crux of the whole sober vs dry thing anyway? LOL

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Old 02-05-2010, 03:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I don't like to label anyone else "dry" (as in "dry drunk"), but I can tell you when I noticed the difference in myself -- being dry and becoming sober. I was "dry" while I was still fighting the urge to take a drink, fighting with myself, fighting to keep from fighting with others. When the misery eased and I didn't need to fight to keep from picking up a drink, I knew I was getting sober.

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Old 02-05-2010, 03:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Being 'dry' for me meant not drinking but being totally p*ssed off about not drinking. Feeling irritable, restless and disconted about not being "allowed" to drink and knowing that getting drinks would instantly take all of that away.

Being sober is what I feel now and that is a feeling of gratitute and inner peace about not drinking as I accept that I am an alcoholic and I am grateful for that acceptance. Being sober to me means not drinking because I truly do not wish to.

I refer to myself as a "recovering" alcoholic on SR and AA as I feel recovery is the key to remaining sober. Though obviously at AA I introduce myself as just an "alcoholic". That is what I am but I am in recovery from it on a daily basis and thus remain sober as a byproduct.

peace
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Old 02-05-2010, 03:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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IMO, the "dry" concept came from someone who hadn't made the leap of cleaning his/her side of the street before cleaning others'.

Keeping it simple since 2010.
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Old 02-05-2010, 07:48 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This is the way i was always Dry in the past

It was like having abstinance forced upon me, even though it appeared to be my choice generally at a moment of extreme emotional pain in my life. This may be that one morning i woke up and actually swear off drink forever and, as i said, the pain being so great that i actually follow through this time. It was ok for a short time as i start to try and change things immediately, as alcoholics do, and start to feel better. My life situation changes as i am not drunk all the time, but after a while i start looking, unintentionally, for the reasons i can't drink, this may be , my spouse, my perceived threat to health, my genetics, my job, may even be that i still believe that it would be insane to drink...whatever...then the resentments start to creep in somtimes blatent, sometimes sneaky...before i know it i am miserable as hell and angry and don't know why, i see someone drinking and know i cant drink, then the if onlys, if only i hadnt drunk so much, if only i'd saved money, worked harder etc, the past creeps back in again, when i say im glad i dont drink anymore i am starting to not believe that as much as i did...then i start looking for external reasons as to why i feel so bad, start blaming people, places or things...then after months/years something as innocent as a work do may come up where everyone knows i dont drink, and i am standing at the bar and i say to hell with it ill have just one JD and coke, its a party...and i feel good at that moment and wonder what all the fuss was about, but i have 10 and make a fool of myself and before i know it im back drinking more than ever and don't know why...

Sober...i can't describe it in a post, too much to say...obviously quite the opposite of dry though...you change as a person and you want more, you come alive inside...

I mean i could post 2 lines about abstinance and sobriety but that would have meant nothing to me before...so??!! Hope that helps?

I guess a way to look at it would be if you can identify that you were dry at certain times in your life and understand why, even a little bit, you might be on your way to getting sober;-)
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Old 02-05-2010, 08:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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"Sober"??... I don't like it. "Dry"??, I don't like it much, either...

Recovered??.... now that's the ticket!!! That's what I want! Sometimes, more often lately, it's what I got... and it feels like... me. Sober, no, I want to have fun.



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Old 02-05-2010, 09:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
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just curious?
does it make any difference?

basically they mean the same,..........recovery starts when you change your life-style,....people,....places,....and things.
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Old 02-05-2010, 10:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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No, not really... Just foolin' around a little.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:33 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Considering all your replies, thank you for posting them, I guess I'm half dry and half sober and yes I do believe there is a difference. I can't stand the dry moments and
I need more sober ones, so I can move on to full recovery if that makes sense.
Thanks again.
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Old 02-11-2010, 05:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saphie View Post
Considering all your replies, thank you for posting them, I guess I'm half dry and half sober and yes I do believe there is a difference. I can't stand the dry moments and
I need more sober ones, so I can move on to full recovery if that makes sense.
Thanks again.
My first year wasn't easy. But it does get easier.

And it's definitely worth it.

I just kept telling myself they were growing pains.
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Old 02-11-2010, 05:48 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horselover View Post
I've never fully understood the "dry" concept, but I think it has to do with one's attitude and progress in recovery. If you are white knuckling recovery, which we do in the beginning I believe, and it continues that way then I believe you might be classified as dry. If you are working on change in your life whether through an AA program or one of your own making, but you are truly changing your mindset and your way of life then I would consider that a sober life. Totally just an opinion that I hold on to though.

My thoughts exactly.
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Old 02-11-2010, 09:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
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My favorite quote is:

Abstinence (e.g. "dry") is not drinking and feeling bad about it.

Recovery is not drinking and feeling good about it.
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Still searching for that darn wisdom to know the difference. Do you know where I can find some?
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Old 02-12-2010, 04:27 AM   #18 (permalink)
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When I was dry I was miserable, I still blamed the world for everything and still wanted a drink deep down inside of me.

Sober/Recovery/recovered I accept full & total responsibilty for all my actions... all of them, whether I was drinking or not. The word "blame" is no longer a part of my vocabulary. I work daily on seeing myself for who I am, working on the issues of mine I need to work on, accepting I will never be all that I could be, but that I make progress daily if possible on changing me. Loving & tolerating others, helping where I can and stepping back & saying nothing if need be.

Accepting I am not God, never was, & never will be!!!

Seeking guidance from a God of my understanding and doing his will to the best of my ability.
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