Question
 

I am pretty sure I know the answer but I need to read it, out loud as it were. I told my sister that I am not drinking right now, I know, I should've just said "not anymore" but well, I'm new and anyways, I said "right now". She is coming to visit me soon, at the end of the month, and said "Well I really want us to drink some wine together when I come visit". This is what I dread the most, I am weak around other drinkers. Right now I am going to try and avoid all situations where other drinkers are, for example, my Girl's Poker Night which can turn into a real drinkfest. But I can't avoid my sister. I need to stay strong, any tips on how to tell her I can't drink with her? I guess I just need to come out and be honest with her, right? Thanks for any replies.

You answered your own question.

Recovery starts HOW? Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness.

Hi,

For me, I don't think you need to explain yourself or talk about what you're doing unless you are sure you want to. Will your sister support you for sure, or will she push you into drinking? If you're positive of her support, then telling her would be a good idea. If you think she wouldn't get it (and non-addicts seldom do) then, say very little.

I guess I just need to come out and be honest with her, right?

Yeah!

You're on day three. It's probably going to get a little harder before easier. Especially between now and then. Which is why (I know I sound like I must be hounding you by now) You might want to try a meeting. Within my first 30-days of meetings I had a nice small support circle. I had to go out to a party right around then. I was able to bring one of my new "friends" with me to help me not drink.

I had to come out of the closet to everyone. I was a seasoned closet drunk. When I told my sister, she was nothing but supportive. I did eventually have to tell some of my dirty secrets because they didn't believe me!

Telling your sister will make it real. Have you actually said it outloud yet? "I'm an alcoholic"?

I'm a closet drunk too
 

Except to my immediate family and my poor husband of course. But not very many people know about my dirty little secret. I suspect my sister has alcohol issues of her own so I'm not sure if she will be supportive, or just want me to join her in her addiction....something tells me she might push me to drink. Oh well, I will stay strong somehow, even if it means living on this board for a while. And yes, I know, a meeting. I do honestly want to go to one. Tomorrow I am going to make an attempt to get there. Home alone tonight with the kids so it's not possible.

And keep hounding me about meetings anytime....I can use any support I can get.

Like Anna says - some people will respond to you telling them you're an alcoholic, but others won't. Only you know what your sister is likely to do.

Just remember - she can do whatever she likes, but you have good strong reasons to stay sober.

Don't forget that :)
D