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Changing my sobriety date in AA due to smoking pot????

Old 03-10-2010, 06:54 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Adding my 2¢, even if this is an old thread... I've thought a bit about this as many of my friends right now are casual pot smokers.

To me it would depend on the circumstances. If I tried pot once (I never have), I wouldn't change my sobriety date. Even if I smoked it a few times with friends, I would consider myself sober. (After all, alcohol was always my problem, nothing else). However, if I found it developing into a habit, I started smoking alone/etc... Then I would stop and change my sobriety date. IMHO, sobriety is about behavior more than anything else.
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Old 03-10-2010, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Laneparkin View Post
Hi everyone,

Im new here! So sorry if this sounds like a stupid question or what have you.

Anyways, I have been sober from alcohol since November 24th 09. However, I smoked pot over a week ago and told my sponsor about it as I felt fairly ashamed and knew i shouldn't be going out and smoking weed. My sponsor suggested that I change my sobriety date. This got me really angry because Ive never had a problem with weed or drugs (not that I would allow myself to use them whenever I pleased because there potential for addiction is high) and my main problems are alcohol and bulemia. Those are HUGE for me. Furthermore, it is Alcoholics!!! Anonymous...


If you all could shed some light on my dilemma, l would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much!
I am sorry right now that I haven't read the whole thread the first few post is all. Here is how I look at it and this is just IMO whatever is the demon that makes you into the beast stay away from.

I know of many that smoke pot, in AA with much good sobriety, but they don't smoke it to catch a buzz. It is part of there way to get in touch with there inner self. Now I know many Indians that still smoke payote? spelled wrong I am sure. See

There is only one requirement for membership...the desire to stop drinking.

Do what You feel you should although, I've been down this road before, and after twisting three months over I just changed it to get it over with...That was a long time ago.

So no words of advise here.
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:36 PM
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(((if you use a mood or mind altering drug for the purposes of recreation you aren't "sober"
Hence you change your sobriety date)))

sorry, new to this site and don't know how to do the cool little quote blocks yet.

I myself am split on the whole "what is sober?" thing, as it seems to always be about levels of sobriety. Mood or mind altering? Where does tobacco fit into that? Coffee?
I think about this every time I go to a smoking meeting(I don't smoke anymore). Every one is banging down smokes one after another and coffee is consumed one pot after another.
So I guess if a person never had an issue with pot, it wouldn't be such a big deal for them as long as they are honest about it. Just say ' I'm sober from alcohol" .
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:43 PM
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welcome to SR stevebone.

Old thread, but I guess this is a perennial argument.

I used pot to escape my life, just like I did alcohol - the behaviour was exactly the same - the lying, the secrets, the evading responsibility, the hurting of my loved ones, the obsession, the taking over my life.

I've yet to have those same reactions with coffee, smokes, sugar, tea, chocolate and aspirin or any of the other things that seem to come up in this argument.

D
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:50 PM
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EDIT: I did not realize this was a very old post and thread. I'll keep my response in here anyway in case it applies to others who come across it.

Originally Posted by Laneparkin View Post
Hi everyone,

Im new here! So sorry if this sounds like a stupid question or what have you.

Anyways, I have been sober from alcohol since November 24th 09. However, I smoked pot over a week ago and told my sponsor about it as I felt fairly ashamed and knew i shouldn't be going out and smoking weed. My sponsor suggested that I change my sobriety date. This got me really angry because Ive never had a problem with weed or drugs (not that I would allow myself to use them whenever I pleased because there potential for addiction is high) and my main problems are alcohol and bulemia. Those are HUGE for me. Furthermore, it is Alcoholics!!! Anonymous...


If you all could shed some light on my dilemma, l would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much!
Strictly speaking, yes, it's Alcoholics Anonymous. But it'd be foolish to ignore other potential risks. Associated with alcoholism is the risk of replacing one addiction with another.

You need to take the whole picture into account. And not be too strict about the label Alcoholics Anonymous. It's about your situation and more things than alcohol can be involved.

Stay smart. Do whatever is best for your health. That's the main focus here, not the sober date or focusing on definitions.

Be well!
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:51 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Sadly, I see the last time the OP was on SR was 04-03-2010 04:11 PM
Hopefully, pot and half measures did not lead her to a full fledged alcoholic relapse. This often happen when we start kidding ourselves.
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Old 09-21-2013, 01:54 PM
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I think if you have ever been addicted to anything you have to be vigilant and honest. With yourself. Only you know deep down if it's a potential danger.

For instance I know that me taking sedatives is purely my brain substituting - they don't knock me out, they don't alter me to the extent alcohol did and they certainly don't numb me. But it's me still bring able to pacify my beast with a token gesture. For now.

I know it's probably wrong. Deep down. It's not good thinking.
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Old 09-21-2013, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by 13unluckyforsom View Post
I think if you have ever been addicted to anything you have to be vigilant and honest. With yourself. Only you know deep down if it's a potential danger.

For instance I know that me taking sedatives is purely my brain substituting - they don't knock me out, they don't alter me to the extent alcohol did and they certainly don't numb me. But it's me still bring able to pacify my beast with a token gesture. For now.

I know it's probably wrong. Deep down. It's not good thinking.
Given that you know this, are you going to listen to what is probably true? And what are you going to do about the situation?

That's the only way to move forward. Keeping it deep down basically means it's easy to ignore. But it holds the key to getting better.

So listen to what you know is best for you.
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:22 PM
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Im happy that you took your sponsers advice, i think u did the right thing by sticking with the resolve that you shouldnt replace one thing with another. However, i wouldnt beat yourself up or feel guilt or shame about a little smoke, i really wouldnt consider that a relapse. Alcohol and weed are polls apart in terms of damage,especially if your an alcoholic. I mean i dont see it being theoretically polls apart from taking benzos and other prescription pills to cope with life after booze, if anything it is more natural and less mind altering if used just in short term. Im not for a minute saying that i dont believe medication isnt a wonderful if used in the correct circumstances and neither do i advocate pot smoking but i think the issue is a spiritual one and dosent deserve the kind of self comdenation your giving yourself. I still feel your entitled your sobriety date if you want it, but i wouldnt overthink it, like you say its today that counts, u seem to be doing well! Thanks for this post im having a similer problem myself, if im really wanting a drink i will have weed, i feel really unsure about it and feel guilty in the same way you do Xxx
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:35 PM
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Sober is sober is sober (or its not). If you are an alcoholic like me if I do pills or week or coke or whatever to ALTER my state that is not sobriety. I think the same applies for people who only thought drugs were their problem and then drink. We are doing something to make us feel different. Not sobriety but thats just my thoughts.
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Old 09-21-2013, 03:49 PM
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Does anyone else think there is a difference between a recovery date and a sobriety date? So far SR has been my support so I haven't had anyone really to guide me unless I specifically ask it from one of you. So these comments might seem naïve. I drank 3 drinks after 3 months. It's ended with me getting physically sick so I considered it a lesson and moved on. A couple of months later it was suggested that I changed my sobriety date. It honestly hadn't occurred to me because I didn't feel like I was starting all over. I felt a little angry like it was saying those 1st 3 months didn't count. Mostly I was just felt like a loser because I had used. Now it seems obvious that I should have and I did. But my recovery date to me will always be Feb 10th. That's the day I had my wake up call. As long as I don't go back out that's the day it changed for me. Is that being true to myself or is this one of those times everyone can see it but me?
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Old 09-21-2013, 04:06 PM
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I've never heard of a 'recovery date'

I think sobriety dates are a very individual thing, and sometimes I think we can make too much of them - we can almost use them as cudgels sometimes and I don't think that's what they're about at all. My sobriety date is vitally important to me...but I'm not sure it should be to anyone else - and vice versa.

For me resetting my sobriety does not mean that whatever sober time I had before doesn't count - I still have all I learned and achieved.

But for me my sobriety date is the day I embraced a new life...it's my first sober day.

If I was to return to the dark side and drink again ever, I'd consider that a repudiation of my sober new life, however temporary and whether I meant it to be or not, and I'd change my date.

I understand what you're saying silentrun, and I know several folks run on those lines here...I'm not passing judgement at all. Like I said above - your date, your recovery

but me? I need to be brutally honest with myself....I need to hold myself to account.

I was a great rationaliser...if I'm futzing about with my sobriety date, I'm letting the door open to that rationalisation stuff again, and I can't do that.

D
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