Having trouble withe meetings.

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01-31-2010, 10:23 AM

# 21 (permalink)

Ceres

Go ask the Multivax

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,481

Well said

01-31-2010, 11:12 AM

# 22 (permalink)

Sugah

Om, Aum, Ohm...

Join Date: Jul 2005

Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh

Posts: 4,797

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aysha

Yea..But she says being that raw helps her stay clean. Because it remonds her how bad she was.
But....I know when I talk like that, I am just running my mouth. Mostly to try and one up someone or prove I was a bad ass. Or trying to get the shock value from people.

....

Not for the right reaosns.
Hearing and talking about those things doesnt keep me clean. It makes me almost glorify it. And it doesnt take a genius to know that nothing about addiction is glorious.

Recovery is glorious, often in a very quiet way, but glorious nonetheless. I've seen people hold onto the war stories. Hell, I did it myself early on. Until there's something tangible -- not necessarily material, but real in a more real sense than a car or a nice apartment -- that we can talk about in recovery, the stories are often all we think we have.

Keep looking and praying for a sponsor, and someone who's right for you will come along.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

01-31-2010, 12:00 PM

# 23 (permalink)

intention

Don't resist, allow

Join Date: Jan 2010

Location: South East of England

Posts: 1,521

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aysha

I dont know. I am not at all interested in even sharing a little about war stories. It doenst matter to me for the first time how bad I was and how deep in it I was. I dont feel I need to justify that to anyone. I am am grateful I am finally willing to do whatever it takes to get better and never have to add to those horrible stories again.

And you are right to feel comfortable doing it like that.

When I am sharing I think of p58 in the BB "Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now."

If this particular person is just staying clean from reliving graphic details of past use, then you may question if she is working the 12 steps. Working the 12 steps keeps you clean.

You sound so much more positive today than you did yesterday. I don't know much of your story being quite new here myself but I am enjoying hearing your updates.
Take care.

01-31-2010, 01:53 PM

# 24 (permalink)

pinpoint

Member

Join Date: Jul 2009

Location: iowa cornfields

Posts: 126

War stories have their time and place, but i felt like the more i talked about how bad i had become, i felt a rather sick pride, like i had to outdo other addicts. That was completely stupid. I would suggest staying away from that lady for a bit.