Blogs


Notices

Another new member

Old 01-28-2010, 02:15 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: London
Posts: 2
Another new member

Hi all,

I've just joined the SR forums and have been reading through many of the threads and found them all to be full of generally good advice and always supportive.

My reason for being here is that I have come to the stage in my drinking life that I am recognising warning signs and want to stop now before I cross the line and alcohol starts to have more control over me than I have over it.

I would describe myself as a heavy drinker, doing about 8 cans of beer a day between the hours of 6pm and midnight - I've been escalated up to this rate over about 10 years. Earlier in my life (20s) I used to drink vodka but in the last 8 years or so I've never really touched spirits. Whether or not I would be termed alcoholic or heavy drinker isn't really important to me, the fact is that I recognise there's an issue with my drinking and I want to do something about it.

I don't have cravings for alcohol throughout the day, have never had the urge to drink in the morning or early afternoon, but come 6pm I seem to hit a trigger point and I go into drinking mode.

The warning signs I see are not physical but mental. I've noticed in the last 6 months or maybe even longer that I'm becoming less focussed at work, not contributing as much, less motivated and feeling anxious and sometimes isolated. I'm also beginning to doubt my self-worth and I'm certain that all of these things are alcohol related.

In the past 2 years I've managed to curb the drinking over short periods of time - anything up to 2 weeks of no alcohol and have felt great but then I sort of lose impetus or just get to the stage where I think I've proved to myself that I can control it if necessary. I think I have now accepted, though, that there is a very fine line between being able to recognise you're close to the edge and not, and I know for certain that by the time I recognise that I've crossed the line it'll be too late and things will get very bad, very quickly. I don't intend to consider social or controlled drinking as an option because as I see it, alcohol use is only ever a one way destination so sobriety is my goal - there will be other issues related to that however but I'll cross those bridges when I come to them!

Anyway, I had only intended to say 'hello' and have rambled a bit. This is now day 2 of the rest of my new, clean life!
Capo is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Capo For This Useful Post:
Fubarcdn (01-28-2010), Hevyn (01-28-2010), Sneezy (01-28-2010)
Old 01-28-2010, 02:21 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 20,995
Originally Posted by Capo View Post
I don't have cravings for alcohol throughout the day, have never had the urge to drink in the morning or early afternoon, but come 6pm I seem to hit a trigger point and I go into drinking mode.

The warning signs I see are not physical but mental. I've noticed in the last 6 months or maybe even longer that I'm becoming less focussed at work, not contributing as much, less motivated and feeling anxious and sometimes isolated. I'm also beginning to doubt my self-worth and I'm certain that all of these things are alcohol related.
I had a similar pattern for many years, my green light was 4:00 PM every weekday, noon on weekends, I'd be off to the races at those times.

And while I managed to keep my job I was certainly less motivated. I isolated myself away from my wife and children, slowly at first then I just wanted to hide away and drink alone without anyone noticing. While I was holed up by myself, they went away alright. I gave up the family I held so near and dear.

You seem to have a good understanding of where you're at and how much worse it could get if you don't stop. I'm glad you've joined us here and hope you find SR to be helpful and supportive.
Astro is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 03:19 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,001
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome Capo
You'll find a lot of support here - it's helpful in pushing past the losing impetus stage

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 03:26 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
The New Me starting 1/11/09
 
NewMe11109's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Welcome Capo. Your thought process is very good. I am pleased that you are here. For me, I thought that I could fix it myself, and I found that I needed the support of others. SR is a good place to get that support. I hope that you can reach your high bottom and just build from there. There is no reason to have to go through all the pain that many of us have. Welcome again!
NewMe11109 is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 03:47 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
cambridge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 159
Hi and welcome! What you say echoes what many have said. I'm glad you've made a decision to change.
cambridge is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 04:52 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,249
Ah yes, if we could only see that darn line before we cross it. But, we never do!

I'm glad you found us and that you want to live a sober life.
Anna is online now  
Old 01-28-2010, 04:54 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
We Do Recover
 
ANGELINA243's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Blog Entries: 19
Welcome! GLad you are here.
ANGELINA243 is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 05:08 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 96,358
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome to SR! Congrats on your decision to live sober. I'm glad you joined our family!
least is online now  
Old 01-28-2010, 05:28 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 219
Blog Entries: 7
Welcome Capo!
4ever is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 05:35 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 48,281
Hi Capo! Wise of you to see it coming. I could have avoided descending into hell if only I had been as self-aware. In my heart I knew I was going off the deep end, but didn't do a thing about it.

We look forward to hearing how it's going for you. Glad to have you here with us.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 01-28-2010, 05:59 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Resident
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR Capo.
your determination shines through.
Good luck on your road to sobriety.
Fubarcdn is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 06:18 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Burlington VT
Posts: 5
Welcome!! Reading you post was a little strange because it is so familiar. That is my story except I went from beer to vodka instead of vodka to beer. If you have not stopped drinking yet you may want to check in with your doctor first. You may not be to the point I was, but this last time quitting I had serious withdrawal symptoms (life threatening blood pressure spikes). This is the first time I've had serious withdrawal symptoms. I wish I had gone to my Dr. first. Instead I wound up in the emergency room.

Again, welcome!!!
yamaha33 is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 06:28 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome to SR, Capo.

I agree, better to get off before the line is crossed... and like Anna said, it's so hard to see it before you do.
thirtybubba is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 06:39 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: London
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Hi Capo! Wise of you to see it coming. I could have avoided descending into hell if only I had been as self-aware. In my heart I knew I was going off the deep end, but didn't do a thing about it.
It wasn't as much about self-awareness as recognising patterns in behaviour. My dad is a full blown alcoholic who is probably a lot closer to death than most of our family realise - in the last couple of years 3 of his drinking 'buddies' have died of organ failure directly related to alcohol. My dad has only been sober for about 10 years of his adult (drinking) life which equates to roughly 35 years of serious abuse. He's now 62 but looks 82. He has truly hit rock bottom in his life including extended periods of homelessness living on the street. He's still drinking at least a litre of vodka a day when he has money or his fellow alcoholics do.

Once I realised that I was starting to notice warning signs in myself like hiding how much and how often I drink from family, turning down invitations if it meant I couldn't drink, getting to the pub an hour earlier than everyone else so that I could throw 3 or 4 drinks down my neck before they turned up - I knew it was time to accept that this isn't 'normal' drinking. I've admitted to myself that I have a problem with alcohol and I'm worried about how friends and family are going to interpret my sudden stopping - I'm not looking forward to telling them that I have a problem particularly since in my mind, and probably theirs, alcohol problem equates to my dad's way of living. But to be honest, it got to be their problem how they react, not mine.

Thanks for the welcomes
Capo is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 07:20 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'm so pleased you are chooseing sobriety
and have joined us on your journey.

Welcome to our recovery community
CarolD is offline  
Old 01-28-2010, 08:39 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
6/20/08
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Welcome....you are in the right place.
coffeenut is offline  
Old 01-29-2010, 05:03 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Don't resist, allow
 
intention's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Capo, good decision and welcome
intention is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:14 PM.