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Old 01-25-2010, 05:37 AM
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Lightbulb Hello everyone. I am new here.



Hello everyone.

I am lost for words at the moment. I am here because I know I need help.
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:41 AM
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:42 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR. This is a resourceful and supportive site.

We look forward to when you feel comfortable sharing. We all know how you feel right now.
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:43 AM
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hello there and welcome to sr....you say you need help? do you want to tell us a little of your story? my name is Charmian and im an alcoholic.sober recovery is a great place and has helped me tremendously with my recovery.
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:54 AM
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Thanks Charmie and everyone for your welcomes.
Everytime I type I delete and try again. :-(
I drink every night.
I cannot sleep without it.
:-(
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:18 AM
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It is possible to sleep without drinking. I used to drink for sleep too, along with just avoiding life, but I sleep better now that I'm sober. You can too. If you want to stop drinking you've come to a good place for support and understanding.

Welcome to SR!
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:21 AM
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Hi again.

You drink because you are addicted. Both your body and mind are addicted to alcohol and scream out for it when they need it. The cravings are very powerful. We call this a disease but there is recovery from it.

It's ok to write whatever you feel like saying. This is a safe place to share.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:33 AM
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Hi and welcome. I actually tried to convince myself that 'to sleep' was the only reason why I drank.
I still enjoy sleeping, but the difference is I actually am aware of falling asleep, which after passing out for too many years, is a fantastic feeling. Don't be afraid about it not being easy at first, it's so worth it and everybody here will support you every step of the way.
I'm still working on the so called escaping the real world by sleeping, it's tough, but when I find another way I am sure it won't be drinking.
PS: Ever noticed how exhausted you still are after 10 hours of drunken sleep? (The longest I have ever managed was 16 hours - what a waste of life that was). Stick with us.
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:11 AM
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Angry

Originally Posted by Saphie View Post
Hi and welcome. I actually tried to convince myself that 'to sleep' was the only reason why I drank.
I still enjoy sleeping, but the difference is I actually am aware of falling asleep, which after passing out for too many years, is a fantastic feeling. Don't be afraid about it not being easy at first, it's so worth it and everybody here will support you every step of the way.
I'm still working on the so called escaping the real world by sleeping, it's tough, but when I find another way I am sure it won't be drinking.
PS: Ever noticed how exhausted you still are after 10 hours of drunken sleep? (The longest I have ever managed was 16 hours - what a waste of life that was). Stick with us.
Hi Saphie.
Thanks for the welcome, and everyones posts in reply.
I know what you mean, as I am always feeling tired. Tiredness as well as other symptoms have frightened me into admitting I have to stop this.
I know I am slowly destroying myself.
I have booked doctors appointments in the past, but then chickened out.
I am going to go on Wed this week to chat to my gp about my problem.
Do you think the doc will send me for a blood test? to test my liver function?
I'm so scared.............of the result........
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by anovapartofme View Post
Hi Saphie.
Thanks for the welcome, and everyones posts in reply.
I know what you mean, as I am always feeling tired. Tiredness as well as other symptoms have frightened me into admitting I have to stop this.
I know I am slowly destroying myself.
I have booked doctors appointments in the past, but then chickened out.
I am going to go on Wed this week to chat to my gp about my problem.
Do you think the doc will send me for a blood test? to test my liver function?
I'm so scared.............of the result........
Hi anovapartofme,

First, welcome to SR and please know that you are NOT alone. I'm on Day 6 of sobriety right now and so much of your story reflects my own. If it helps:

1. I drank a magnum bottle of wine a night because I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep. Plus, I wanted to mask the anxiety of my life (which alcohol only makes worse, BTW).
2. I also scheduled many doc appt only to chicken out - scared of what they might find.
3. I knew I had to get help because I was only slowly killing myself (emotionally if not physically).

We all have to come to our own point where we say "enough is enough" and I hope and pray you hit that point soon.

For me, I finally went an fessed up to my pastoral counselor. He in turn got me to a therapist that deals with alcohol recovery (he's 13 years sober right now) and he in turn got me to a psychiatrist that specializes in alcohol abuse - both physcially and mentally.

I know that might sound like a lot but, I promise you, once you take the first step you will feel a huge weight that is lifted from you.

With the help I'm receiving, I can tell you that I'm sleeping well at night and I can't even begin to tell you how good the mornings feel. I'm also going to 2 AA meetings a day and am at a start of what I hope will be a new life - one day at a time.

One last thing that really helped me. My psychiatrist took me through how alcohol really messes up your sleep patterns at night. The long/short of it is that 3 hours of sober sleep is much healthier than 8-10 hours of drunk sleep.

Best of luck and look forward to hearing your story of recovery.

RacerX
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:31 AM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:48 AM
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Hi anovapartofme!

I'm glad you're here.

I too used alcohol as a sleep aid because I had an irrational fear of not being able to sleep. Alcohol is a liar when it comes to getting quality sleep - sure it'll knock you out but it disrupts the brain waves that are necessary for the healing power of sleep.

As I get more and more days of sobriety under my belt I realize that I couldn't sleep because I had fear and I had fear because I wasn't living the way I should - with or without alcohol. Now that I'm doing the right things - I am free of guilt, shame, and fear so I sleep like a child. This may or may not be the case for you but coming here to talk about it is a step in the right direction in helping you to figure that out.

I wish you the best.
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Old 01-25-2010, 11:04 AM
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Thanks everyone for your encouraging words of support.
I have many threads to read and I really would be interested to read other peoples experiences, so will check them out.

I know that drinking at night to help me sleep is just skimming the surface as the real problems and reasons why I drink are just a little deeper.
My story goes way back.
I have many regrets.
It used to be beer, now it's wine.
And as everyone is saying, I feel tired all the time....
I will be embracing all the good advice you people in here can give, as well as my gp's advice on Wed.
Thanks again everyone.
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Old 01-25-2010, 11:21 AM
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Going to see your GP is a very good idea and start. Try and be very honest.
I have lived most of my life in the UK, so I do know the NHS system and it is different to over here.
Here in the US they would draw your blood over the phone when you make the appointment if they could . But that is a good thing, they need to know what's going on and so do you.
Don't worry too much, it will only scare you more. You are doing the right thing.
Keep us posted.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:48 PM
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as others have said,be totally honest with your doctor.i used booze to sleep too,among other things,when i looked at myself when i got sober and how it was with me and booze, i actually found that i used booze for everything,it was my solution to life.things are beyond words now,i never imagined i could feel like this.i go to AA partovme,and found a much more preferable solution to life there.if i can be of any help to you at all please feel free to pm me if you want to chat.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:49 PM
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as others have said,be totally honest with your doctor.i used booze to sleep too,among other things,when i looked at myself when i got sober and how it was with me and booze, i actually found that i used booze for everything,it was my solution to life.things are beyond words now,i never imagined i could feel like this.i go to AA partovme,and found a much more preferable solution to life there.if i can be of any help to you at all please feel free to pm me if you want to chat. ..ps,im just up in scotland,from york origionally!
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:36 PM
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That's a positive step forward you are taking, going to see your GP. I would echo what everyone else is saying, please just be honest with them and tell them everything which is going on with you. You need help.

Don't worry about getting upset in front of the doctor and falling apart.....without sounding too cold here the more desperate you appear in front of him/her the more likely you are to get a referral for counselling first time round, if that is what you would be interested in. Hopefully you will get a full health check as well.

Remember there is also AA, where you can walk in a get instant help and support when you are ready.
Take care.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:37 PM
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welcome to sr.
from the sw of the uk.
names shaun and im an alcoholic............glad your here with us.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:48 PM
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Hi anovapartofme,
I have also been guilty of cancelling doctors appointments and blood work for fear of what they might find.. I am a binge drinker/drug addict and when I binge the sheer amount of alcohol I've consumed should've killed me ages ago.. 57 beers in one day once.. plus xanax and percocet
Welcome to this wonderful site.. Some very kind and compassionate people r here who know what u r going through because we have been there (or are there).
I desperately want to wake up one day after a good, natural nights sleep without dragon breath and a hangover.. And I know I will, and so will you.
Feel free to PM me if u want to talk.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:52 PM
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Wink The Root

"I know that drinking at night to help me sleep is just skimming the surface as the real problems and reasons why I drink are just a little deeper.
My story goes way back.
I have many regrets".

Hi there,
My huge regret and problems were skimmed over too, then I added thick plaster and finally finished it off with inpenatrable concrete. I stood back and fell over drunk, from the floor, I looked up and could still see the cracks, in fact, there were more.

I'm now sober and realise the cracks only became bigger when I was in alcohol...not the buzzy first hour of the 1st bottle, but by the depressive early hours of the morning 3rd bottle in. It's taken 12 years for me to realise the regret and the problems only got worse the more I poured down my neck and the more regrets and problems I brought upon myself by my behaviour when drunk... the things I lost, the people I hurt, the things I said, The awful things I did, the money I wasted, the time I missed, the danger I put myself in and more.

I wish I had dealt with my initial regrets and problems in the first place, painful as they were before turning into the woman I became - an alcohol soaked semi functioning nightmare.
My advice is to address your drinking first, then deal with the emotional side of things when sober, I tried it the other way round and it simply didn't work, I just drank more. I wish you all the luck in the world, keep trying and know you really aren't alone, you are strong and can overcome this, step back, take a deep breath, tell the doctor Everything (don't worry about time) and listen, listen hard. The only thing to be scared of is the liquid you are pouring into yourself at the moment. Good luck Let us know how it goes.
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