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Having a bad time

Old 01-23-2010, 03:13 PM
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Unhappy Having a bad time

I sure want to drink right now. My son is testing me to the limit. He wrecked computer #4 after having been given a new chance after 3 months without privileges. I have a bunch of family in town and it is not fun to hang out when my siblings are having fun drinking. I am so bummed out about not being able to drink. Today is day 32. It is a really rough one. Anyone have a helpful thought or a kind word? I will remain sober but i would sure like to enjoy it more. I guess I would say today I feel "dry" but not sober.

2be
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:26 PM
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Hi 2be

I'm sorry for your troubles

it is not fun to hang out when my siblings are having fun drinking.I am so bummed out about not being able to drink.
Did *you* have fun drinking though? 'Play the tape through' as they say - remember where your last drink really took you.

Early recovery can be, and often is, rough 2be - I wouldn't enjoy a raucous family drinkfest now, let alone at 30 days - but the good thing is you're not alone here @SR

Are you using any other support groups besides SR?

Keep posting - it really does get better from here
D

Last edited by Dee74; 01-23-2010 at 03:44 PM.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:43 PM
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Sorry you are having such a crap day.
I like the saying...'This too shall pass'...sorry can't remember who posted that but it sure did help me yesterday.
Hugs to you xx
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Old 01-23-2010, 04:00 PM
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Are your siblings alcoholics though? Are you an alcohlic?

I find that my acceptance of the fact that I am an alcoholic and that my siblings/peers or whoever else aren't helps keep me grounded as to the fact that I am not like them when it comes to "having fun drinking". They will not be powerless over drinking to blackout once they start and they will not be waking reaching for a drink and not remembering wtf happened lst night. The flashbacks of the previous lost 3-4 hours will haunt me for a couple of days after. Basically there is no happy ending for me and drinking just alcoholic oblivion and total and utter chaos and destruction.

A night "having fun drinking" for me would likely result in the loss of my job, car, family, happiness, freedom and most importantly hope because it would mean I would be a drunk again as opposed to a recovering alcoholic and I couldn;t cope with that.

Like Dee advises think that "fun" through and think where it will really take you. I remember waking in a police cell and not feeling like too much fun. That is the difference.

It will pass and you'll come out stronger for it.
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Old 01-23-2010, 04:29 PM
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I can't agree more with 'thinking it through'. My problems occur when I think only of the moment and not of the inevitable consequences. The statement that comes to mind is this: I've never woken up wishing I had drank the night before. I don't know who said that but I find it to be completely true. And I also know that any time I've drank I ALWAYS regretted it and hated myself the next day.

I don't need to hurt myself by drinking. There's enough hurt in the world that I don't need to manufacture any more.

Stay strong. You can do this.
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Old 01-23-2010, 04:33 PM
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Yeah, when I stopped drinking, it was such a long, long time since I had had any fun doing it. It seemed like each week was getting worse and worse.

I hope you can get through this!
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Old 01-23-2010, 07:24 PM
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You have 32 days, congratulations, but why do you have the 32 days?
There is a reason why you are not drinking. Remember why you are not drinking.
Drinking has never solved anything. That first one or two, sure, but can you stop there?
You need to realize and accept that you can not drink normally, so therefore, you can not drink anymore, plain and simple.
You certainly are not missing out on anything, by remaining sober. Let them all indulged and let them think they are having fun. In the morning, if they have abused the alcohol, you will the impact, them you can smile to yourself and say, "ahhh, the hangover."
Stay strong. Do not drink.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:15 PM
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Yes, you are all right. I made it through the evening without drinking. It was a pretty hard at first and then it got easier. I don't come from a family of alcoholics but rather either social or non-drinkers. The reason I can't drink at all is that I went from being a 2-3 drink social drinker to an every day 2-3 drink drinker to drinking more and more every day. Thankfully, I have never blacked out or suffered major consequences or humiliations as a result of my drinking. I would love to keep it that way. My drinking was escalating with no clear limits in sight. I don't want a drink on a night like this, I want five or six. I would like for the obsession to be removed. I hope that working the 12 steps will help that happen. The main reason I did not drink tonight is because I simply could not face going to a meeting tomorrow morning after a slip. Whatever gets you through I guess...

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Old 01-23-2010, 09:56 PM
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You might want to ask women for their phone numbers
before or after a meeting.
Then ...you could call someone each day to get a
connection established

really handy to find someone locally for the yukky days...

I use my list often due to my limitationss. I ask for rides
I call until I reach someone who can assist me.
Works the same for down times too...

Forward we go...side by side
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