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-   -   job (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/193024-job.html)

joel 01-22-2010 04:57 PM

job
 
well, i lost my job today. pretty crappy circumstances to say the least. Been sober for 20 days and really just want to go out and get black out drunk. Part of me saying the only thing i have right now is sobriety, another parts saying go out, get trashed f-the world and my former supervisor.

din 01-22-2010 05:00 PM

I certainly hope you rethink.....and DONT!

20 days is something to be darn proud of!!!

bad part is....You will still be jobless in the morning, only with a hangover...........and back to day one.

edited to say:
I should be much more compassionate..........I'm a newbie myself.......apologies

Anna 01-22-2010 05:03 PM

I'm really sorry that you lost your job. That has to hurt.

But, be SO glad that you are sober and can deal with this situation. You will be able to search for a new job and move on with your life.

CarolD 01-22-2010 05:07 PM

Yes losing your job is painful. Sorry it happened.
:hug:
Losings your sober time is not going to help
you will only feel worse

Do something positive for yourself
please don't put alcohol back in your body.

Ceres 01-22-2010 05:14 PM

This happened to me. Partly because I was so crazy in my early sobriety. Funny thing, it happened to my sponsor too. I wonder how common it really is. So many of us are utterly useless the first 30 or 60 days. I think it was meant to be for me. I had a lot to work on and was able to throw myself into recovery. As far as money went, I was able to convince myself that I will alway's have what I need as long as I do the next right thing, then the next right thing, ect... It was true.

least 01-22-2010 05:27 PM

Sobriety may not be the only thing you have going for you, but I think it is the best thing. And if you hang on to it you won't wake up full of regret and feeling like crap.

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined us.:ghug3

HumbleBee 01-22-2010 05:56 PM

Hey Joel,

It sux, but just because we stop drinking does not mean that life magically gets easier...life goes on with all its ups and downs. You're being tested and things like this will happen along the way on your journey. How you handle it is really up to you.

These are the tests of our strength, resolve and willingness to do whatever it takes to not "just" stay sober, but to learn how to live a full, contented life without alcohol as a coping mechanism.

Don't give that former supervisor your hard-earned sobriety - it's yours, rise above the mess and know that no situation will be made better by drinking.

Continue to reach out, call supportive friends/family, do something good for yourself.

Losing that job might be a blessing in disguise...stranger things have happened...recovery can be full of wonderful, awesome surprises - not always - but for me, things came my way that I didn't even know I wanted. It wouldn't have happened if I was still drinking. I'm sure of that.

Hang in there ~
Hb

joel 01-22-2010 07:12 PM

Thanks for the support
 
Thanks for the support. I really need it right now. This will indeed be a huge test. Humblebee I never thought of it being a blessing in disguise. I hope it is. One again thank you all.

coffeenut 01-22-2010 07:14 PM

Losing your job is tough. Being drunk is tougher. I do hope you'll stick around SR...Welcome.

yeahgr8 01-22-2010 07:22 PM

Hi Joel yep this sucks but as has been pointed out it was meant to happen, what you choose to do now will have influences on years to come and affect your quality of life in a good or bad way...so got many AA meetings planned now you have all the time in the world for them and coffees afterwards?

joel 01-22-2010 07:29 PM

I do not have any AA meetings planned. The next few days I'm packing up and taking the drive of shame back home. Logging on to SR at least a couple times a day has been working out for me right now, I know as soon as I get back home and all my buddies catch wind that I am back for a while the pressures really going to be on and I will most definitely start going to AA meetings.

Tiredofdrugs 01-22-2010 08:27 PM

My husband lost his job back in May. Go file for unemployment. The girlfriend or your job isn't worth your sobriety. I have three clean days under my belt. Life throws hard curves with every turn. You are gonna hate yourself in the morning if you fall off the wagon. Why let the others say, "I told you he couldn't stay sober". Hold your head up high and be damn proud of something you've put in your life as a good thing. DON'T SCREW IT UP! I wish every day I hadn't have started taking the meds again. Now I'm starting over, AGAIN! It doesn't get easier with each time you have to start over on your clean date. SO DON'T START OVER IN THE MORNING BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU DID STUPIDLY TONIGHT!!! If you and your girlfriend were meant to be together you'd still be together. Time heals all wounds. So take a deep breath, listen to some good music or watch a good movie. Let the night pass by in PEACE.

Take care of yourself!!!!!

Dee74 01-22-2010 10:09 PM

I'm sorry to hear your news Joel.
I'm glad you didn't cave tho.

Keep checking in :)
D

Soph 01-22-2010 10:32 PM

Joel, stay strong buddy! You can do it! I drank 2 days before New Year's a few weeks ago and I had 10 days of sobriety at the time. I went straight to a beer and drank it quickly, and then immediately was so pissed! Mad at myself, and worst of all it made me feel like "oh well i already screwed it up, might as well get a bottle of wine 'cas I deserve it!"

No no no it was so dumb. I had to start all over again (which I did) and I see now that I used drama as an excuse. Well, if that's the excuse this time, then what will the next excuse be? Someone ripped off my ipod? My car got keyed? Bad hair day? Etc etc.

Stay in your program, buy books or podcasts if you can't get to an AA meeting, but try to avoid drinking because it won't get your job back. It will only bum you out more!

We're rootin for ya!

:-)

intention 01-23-2010 03:09 AM

Hi Joel,

I hope you are waking sober this morning.

Please don't think of it as a drive of shame home. This is just a new opportunity for you. You can have a better life and a better job at the other side of this.

Just stay focused on not taking the first drink. Get yourself to plenty of meetings before the pressure is on with the old friends you meet up with.

This too shall pass. Keep in touch, particularly while things are so tough for you right now.
Take care.

NoelleR 01-23-2010 03:36 AM

OK, joel....a li'll story for ya.....

Once upon a time, a wee lass named Noelle lost her job in her first two weeks into recovery.

On Monday, June 23rd of 1986, Noelle went to her first AA meeting and made the decision to quit, and got her one of those 'desire chips' '24hr chips' whatever one wants to call them (now don't ask me anything about that meeting; I don't remember a thang).

The next weekend, June 28th and 29th, there was a pretty much citywide party (at least in one area of town), and Noelle went to pretty much all of it, and she didn't pick up. However, on July 1st, Noelle received a call from her mom, asking that she come back to SF, to help her mom straighten out the house a bit, and get her financial papers in better order. You see, on June 30th, my mom was in an auto accident --- I might add here that it was an auto/pedestrian accident, as my mom doesn't drive, nor does she own a car. Bless her heart, at 69 years of age, and being thrown about 50/60 feet, her only major damage was a slightly fractured hip bone, and a dislocated finger.

Well, let me tell you, Noelle's mom had never come to her and asked for her help (in fact, Noelle couldn't remember a time when her mom ever admitted she needed any help, from anyone, but least of all, from Noelle; Noelle, of course, at the time, was an alcoholic and addict, remember).

But when Noelle took this request to her employer, she was told NOT to expect her job back if she left [heck, Noelle, at first, was only asking for a weekend (a long weekend, perhaps, but only a weekend)]. Well that was an easy 'major' decision to make in early recovery; Noelle caught the first available flight from Houston to SF; she could think on, and worry about her stuff (back in Houston) later.

Going back to SF was definitely the right decision. Noelle had a temp sponsor back in Houston, and, in SF, she had one of her bestest friends (who, by the way, had just celebrated three years clean/sober). I always refer to her as my long distance sponsor, and she did good work with me during those first couple of weeks in SF. She took me to a bunch of meetings (mostly womyn's meetings), just to get me started----led by the hand, so to speak, to the first meeting, for the rest, I was on my own, and the good ole SF's bus lines. Good sponsor there. She showed me where the meetings were, and then let me sink or swim (so to speak) on my own (she knew it was my recovery and I needed to work it for myself, not led by the hand at all times). She knew my recovery had to be up to me. Now, if the weather was crap, or if she happened to be going to one of those same meetings, of course she'd offer me a ride, but mostly it was up to moi. ...and whadyano, I made it to one meeting a day.....ain't that amazin' (all by my li'll ole self) ----- (o:

Just to get you caught up, when Noelle returned to Houston (about 3 months later.....lolol -- figured I didn't have much to come back to), her ex-employer had just 'dumped' all her stuff on the bare floor of one of the vacant apartments (there were lots of these, as the place was a dump, and probly should have been condemned way back when). All Noelle had to do was, neatly, put all her stuff in the back of her P/U with camper shell, and she was all set. Noelle lived on the streets for a while; she house/apartment sat for friends she'd met in AA (and they trusted her---what a shock to her system, that was, for Noelle----some ppl actually knew her and still trusted her----LOLOL); she lived in a half-way house; and she lived in a womyn's shelter for her last 1 1/2 months of being homeless (so se could accumulate the $$ to get her own apartment (woooooohooooooo!!!)

Anyway, joel, that's ma story (and I'm stickin' to it---lol), and my thoughts are with you during this time of unemployment. Yes, this is a tough time to be unemployed, but I'm bettin' on you, joel.....you just keep on trudgin' the road of happy destiny; there a lot of might fine folks to meet 'n greet on that road. (o:


NoelleR

Tiredofdrugs 01-23-2010 04:08 AM

Hi Noelle:
How long have you been clean? It looks like you started back in 2005. I have 4 days, starting today of clean time. I'm cold turkeying off Hydro #10's.

vegibean 01-23-2010 04:26 AM

Hey Joel, hope you're still sober. ;)

Unfortunately life is going to keep throwing us curve balls and they all suck and are a pain to get through. I can tell you from all of my experiences in dealing with the "pittfalls" that they do get easier to work through. Keep it up and don't let other people, places or things be the wheels to drive you down. :)

NoelleR 01-23-2010 05:43 AM


Originally Posted by Tiredofdrugs (Post 2495015)
Hi Noelle:
How long have you been clean? It looks like you started back in 2005. I have 4 days, starting today of clean time. I'm cold turkeying off Hydro #10's.

for you, Tiredofdrugs, and anyone else who may be confused by the stuff under a person's nic over on the left here.

The 2005 to which you're referring is when I joined this site (and with this nic; I was here under another nic from 2001/2002, but I couldn't remember it, nor could I remember the password, so I re-registered).

.....and btw, I've been clean/sober (no relapses or breaks in-between) since June 23, 1986. I stated this in my post, but I see that I wasn't very cleanr in that when I said I decided to quit, I meant to quit everything..... (o:

You can do it.....I'm prescribed a bunch o stuff for my chronic pain (even with the stuff it's just bearable; still very much chronic pain).....: fentanyl 75; norco 10/325, four times a day as needed for pain; methadone 5/10, twice a day as needed for pain; flexeril 10; and zanaflex 4/6.

There are many times that I CT so as not to risk having to raise my deosages; I've found that I have a lot more strength than I'd been giving myself credit for.....

You keep up the good work there, Tiredofdrugs; you can do this; have faith in yourself.


NoelleR

dedubya 01-23-2010 06:12 AM

Hey man
every time I lost or changed jobs, I looked at it as a door opening as opposed to a door closing- both are happening sort of.. but the new open door has lots of opportunities and more than the last! Keep your chin up and enjoy your sobriety. I am by the way struggling, and your days of sobriety are motivating for me.
Dub


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