Heading on trip and nervous
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Heading on trip and nervous
Hi guys
I've been sober since Jan. 1st of this year, so it's cool that I can say I have not taken any alcohol in 2010! Especially after starting in, hmm, tenth grade? And I am now, 40!? Ahem.
Anyway I am at 3 weeks and thrilled, but nervous because this weekend I head off to a fancy pancy film festival where all the "cool" people swill and chill and there I will be, quaking in my sobriety and clutching my mini BB.
Any thoughts, meditiations or ways to get through this til I am back home Wednesday would be appreciated. I already googled an AA room and mapquested it (!!) from where I am staying but I am also kinda nervous about that too.
Anyway, just thought I'd share. Also, just finished reading "Dry" for the 2nd time and loved it even more this time as a person in recovery (for those of you who like Augusten Burroughs.) Cheers...Soph
I've been sober since Jan. 1st of this year, so it's cool that I can say I have not taken any alcohol in 2010! Especially after starting in, hmm, tenth grade? And I am now, 40!? Ahem.
Anyway I am at 3 weeks and thrilled, but nervous because this weekend I head off to a fancy pancy film festival where all the "cool" people swill and chill and there I will be, quaking in my sobriety and clutching my mini BB.
Any thoughts, meditiations or ways to get through this til I am back home Wednesday would be appreciated. I already googled an AA room and mapquested it (!!) from where I am staying but I am also kinda nervous about that too.
Anyway, just thought I'd share. Also, just finished reading "Dry" for the 2nd time and loved it even more this time as a person in recovery (for those of you who like Augusten Burroughs.) Cheers...Soph
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Sounds like you already have a good plan in place! I would only add to make sure you have lots of your favorite beverage on hand.
I read Dry, too...it really was a good one.
Have a Great Sober time...and when you come back.....you will be so proud of yourself for going and staying, Sober!
I read Dry, too...it really was a good one.
Have a Great Sober time...and when you come back.....you will be so proud of yourself for going and staying, Sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,086
Hi Soph
It'll probably be tough, but guess some things you just gotta do
My suggestions are: always have a full glass of whatever your choice is - soda water or cola or whatever...have an excuse ready for the nosy nellies if they want to pursue the fact you're not drinking...and always have an escape plan.
Do think about going to a meeting too - you might be glad of the support and the phone numbers.
Plan ahead and you can do this!
D
It'll probably be tough, but guess some things you just gotta do
My suggestions are: always have a full glass of whatever your choice is - soda water or cola or whatever...have an excuse ready for the nosy nellies if they want to pursue the fact you're not drinking...and always have an escape plan.
Do think about going to a meeting too - you might be glad of the support and the phone numbers.
Plan ahead and you can do this!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Thanks. What I am feeling is, I want to get into bed for a week and curl up with books. I want to eat homemade cookies and drink milk. Anything but travel.
I am just a single mom who recently gave up her lovely glasses of wine, and it's lonely and scary.
Thanks Dee.
I am just a single mom who recently gave up her lovely glasses of wine, and it's lonely and scary.
Thanks Dee.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
If its work and you have to go do as Dee suggested and hoep for the best i guess? Going to an AA meeting would be the best idea and would give you a better chance of getting through it without drinking. If it was a social occasion i would not go...good luck:-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Thanks, Yeah. It is for work. And the thing is, as a single mom for the past decade, work trips have generally been the times I could really "let go" - no dogs, no kids, etc...I can go out and party with the party people or stay in my hotel room and quietly and (i thought elegantly!?) drink my wine and eat room service. Ha! Joke.
The last work trip I flew across the country, drank 2 or 3 baby bottles of white wine and was convinced the air hostess was judging me. I was pretty smashed, as was the guy ordering Bud Lites to my left. When I looked at myself in the awful plane bathroom mirror, I remember thinking "you're drunk, and you didn't even mean to. Again."
I guess on the flights over this weekend I will be ordering water or juice and feeling smug!!
Am really hoping I can keep it together. :-)
The last work trip I flew across the country, drank 2 or 3 baby bottles of white wine and was convinced the air hostess was judging me. I was pretty smashed, as was the guy ordering Bud Lites to my left. When I looked at myself in the awful plane bathroom mirror, I remember thinking "you're drunk, and you didn't even mean to. Again."
I guess on the flights over this weekend I will be ordering water or juice and feeling smug!!
Am really hoping I can keep it together. :-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Whether you drink or not have you got a plan for when you return, meetings to go to, sponsor, start/continue working the steps? If you are not going to that meeting and haven't started the above properly then you are going to have to whiteknuckle it and suck it up, honestly i hope you have a bad time either way so you start working on your sobriety when you get back...you could always ring the number of that meeting before you leave, whats the worse that could happen?!
I was on SR last year doing my 5 months dry stint and i hated it when AA guys posted at me like i have above hehe hope you take it with the good intentions it is posted with;-)
I was on SR last year doing my 5 months dry stint and i hated it when AA guys posted at me like i have above hehe hope you take it with the good intentions it is posted with;-)
Sober Date 12/21/09
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Hey Soph,
If you're in the film business, like me, then you might just find that you are more interesting, engaging, witty and intelligent when talking "shop" completely sober. I used to think I needed to drink in social situations to "loosen up and be friendly" but all I was really doing was over-compensating for my insecurities, sticking my foot in my mouth constantly, making inappropriate comments and generally making people not like me because I was trying too hard. Alcohol is very deceiving.
A trick I learned a long time ago: if you're at a bar or cocktail party and don't want people to know you aren't partying with them, pull the bartender or waitress aside, tip them a little extra and tell them that whenever you order a vodka cranberry to make it a virgin. Of course, you have to be careful that some well meaning guest doesn't order another drink for you! But it has worked for me in the past. Or you can simply tell them you have several really big projects in development and you want to keep your wits about you!
If it's Sundance you're going to I've been there and I didn't encounter that much partying. They actually warn against drinking too much because of the extreme climate and altitude.
Whatever you do, have fun being sober. I think you'll find at the end of the trip you'll be much more proud of yourself for behaving like a professional and you'll likely remember more! LOL Have a great time!
If you're in the film business, like me, then you might just find that you are more interesting, engaging, witty and intelligent when talking "shop" completely sober. I used to think I needed to drink in social situations to "loosen up and be friendly" but all I was really doing was over-compensating for my insecurities, sticking my foot in my mouth constantly, making inappropriate comments and generally making people not like me because I was trying too hard. Alcohol is very deceiving.
A trick I learned a long time ago: if you're at a bar or cocktail party and don't want people to know you aren't partying with them, pull the bartender or waitress aside, tip them a little extra and tell them that whenever you order a vodka cranberry to make it a virgin. Of course, you have to be careful that some well meaning guest doesn't order another drink for you! But it has worked for me in the past. Or you can simply tell them you have several really big projects in development and you want to keep your wits about you!
If it's Sundance you're going to I've been there and I didn't encounter that much partying. They actually warn against drinking too much because of the extreme climate and altitude.
Whatever you do, have fun being sober. I think you'll find at the end of the trip you'll be much more proud of yourself for behaving like a professional and you'll likely remember more! LOL Have a great time!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 159
The first time I went on a trip sober was a challenge for me as well. I hate flying, and I think that was the first time I'd flown sober since I was old enough to drink. But I just tried to enjoy the journey, spent my time people watching and spraying perfumes in duty free to kill time.
I don't know if you are most worried about free time, or time with people, but if it is free time, see if you can set up something nice for yourself like a spa trip or massage or something else you wouldn't usually do on a trip. This way, you are 'letting go', and relaxing from your family in a healthy way.
I don't know if you are most worried about free time, or time with people, but if it is free time, see if you can set up something nice for yourself like a spa trip or massage or something else you wouldn't usually do on a trip. This way, you are 'letting go', and relaxing from your family in a healthy way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
I have not even begun to fight my addiction to pills, but may I share a tactic my therapist shared with me when I didnt know how to manage my OCD?
He told me that when I am obsessing about wanting something that I dont need, to the point where it causes emotional distress and panic (one of my compulsions was buying something instead of facing my obsessive thoughts. The depression of having lost money overpowered my thoughts temporarily), I need to just sit down and not try to force the thoughts out of my head, but let them flow and do the best I can to have them without letting them dictate my actions. He said that if that failed, to do something immediately that would shift my focus. For me, this could be drawing, driving to the middle of no where and listening to music, taking a shower, whatever. The philosophy was that, if I did something that took some time, even if it did not erase my obsessions, it might cause me to let them exhaust themselves and sort of cope with them and understand that they aren't so realistic.
I dont know if this will help for you, but it may be worth a shot.
He told me that when I am obsessing about wanting something that I dont need, to the point where it causes emotional distress and panic (one of my compulsions was buying something instead of facing my obsessive thoughts. The depression of having lost money overpowered my thoughts temporarily), I need to just sit down and not try to force the thoughts out of my head, but let them flow and do the best I can to have them without letting them dictate my actions. He said that if that failed, to do something immediately that would shift my focus. For me, this could be drawing, driving to the middle of no where and listening to music, taking a shower, whatever. The philosophy was that, if I did something that took some time, even if it did not erase my obsessions, it might cause me to let them exhaust themselves and sort of cope with them and understand that they aren't so realistic.
I dont know if this will help for you, but it may be worth a shot.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by sunset2000 
A trick I learned a long time ago: if you're at a bar or cocktail party and don't want people to know you aren't partying with them, pull the bartender or waitress aside, tip them a little extra and tell them that whenever you order a vodka cranberry to make it a virgin. Of course, you have to be careful that some well meaning guest doesn't order another drink for you!
I would favour - "I'm not drinking tonight", "I don't drink", "I've given up", "I have an early start", "I'm on a diet", "I'm on meds which don't mix with alcohol", you could even joke that you will meet them in the gym at 5am for a workout in the morning...............anything but pretending to drink alcohol.
Do people really judge those badly who don't drink? Yes, they may if you admit you're an alcoholic but lots of normal people don't drink on occassions.
Sober Date 12/21/09
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
I don't recommend it for the long term, just until she feels strong enough to say she doesn't want to drink or can handle the curious questions that usually follow it. And yes, I've been in certain social situations where you're viewed as a buzz kill if you're not joining in the party. I avoid parties like that now.
Also, I try to avoid the "meds" excuse as many people know that you can't drink on antibiotics that are given for STDs. Not a good excuse at all. LOL But I like the other suggestions. I simply tell people, "I just don't really drink that much anymore" and that seems to satisfy them. If they ask further, I just say, "It's just really not healthy".
Also, I try to avoid the "meds" excuse as many people know that you can't drink on antibiotics that are given for STDs. Not a good excuse at all. LOL But I like the other suggestions. I simply tell people, "I just don't really drink that much anymore" and that seems to satisfy them. If they ask further, I just say, "It's just really not healthy".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Thank you guys so much for your posts - I just got them now! I talked with my sponsor at length today and she is so great, she dropped off an envelope for my trip with little folded messages for every day. All full of inspiration and hope. I am going to do it! I am determined.
And tonight I went to dinner and to my own surprise, I ordered a Shirley Temple (back to my 10 year old days!) Made my date laugh. I just may use that one at the festival! It was really pretty damn delicious!
THANK you guys again. I am going to post from the festival...one day at a time...:-)
And tonight I went to dinner and to my own surprise, I ordered a Shirley Temple (back to my 10 year old days!) Made my date laugh. I just may use that one at the festival! It was really pretty damn delicious!
THANK you guys again. I am going to post from the festival...one day at a time...:-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Grab yourself a GREAT coffee or another favorite drink. Even a nice bottle of water is cool to hang onto.
What I always hanging in my mind is "no matter what, no matter what, good or bad, DON'T PICK UP!!!" It's not worth it!
Have fun on your trip!
What I always hanging in my mind is "no matter what, no matter what, good or bad, DON'T PICK UP!!!" It's not worth it!
Have fun on your trip!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
