Glad I didn't give in to temptation yesterday
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Glad I didn't give in to temptation yesterday
Was so tempted yesterday to drink. Was having a bad day and little sleep made it feel worse. I held on tight to my sobriety and this morning I woke up clear headed and without regrets. Someone here once said, "I've never woken up and wished I had drank last night." or words to that effect. How true that is. I like waking up without regretting the day before. I like waking up feeling good. I like waking up knowing I don't have to start all over again. I like myself a lot better sober.
To anyone out there fighting cravings - try to remember how much better you'll feel tomorrow if you don't drink today. It's hard sometimes to hold on but staying sober is so much worth the effort.
To anyone out there fighting cravings - try to remember how much better you'll feel tomorrow if you don't drink today. It's hard sometimes to hold on but staying sober is so much worth the effort.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Hi Least,
Well done on getting through that moment. I just wish you didn't have to struggle so much with it. I hope you know that I care enough about you that I'll risk a little discomfort for both of us. I think I do you a dis-service by patting you on the back instead of telling you what I've learned, based on my own experience.
I contrast that belief with a couple of statements made in back to back paragraphs of AA's Big Book.
This is where the AA program becomes both heartbreaking and also hopeful. I had to ask myself if I really believed those things. Especially that first one about the most powerful desire to stop being useless. Do I really believe that, not for anyone else in the world, but for me? Is it true for me?
And I had to look at my own experience. I had to add up the evidence from my past. How many times had I tried to use all my willpower to not drink? While I was successful for a while, after a few months I found some trivial reason to drink. How many times had I been to treatment where I learned to identify my triggers, and list the good and bad consequences of drinking or not drinking? Again, I was successful for a while, and then started drinking again.
Each of those attempts and ultimate failures filled me with a new resolve, a new determination to work harder next time, stay more vigilant next time, get more support next time. I think, and I like to think, that working harder will make the difference for me. And it never did. I failed over and over.
It's what I see you doing, Least. Doing that same thing as last time. Applying yourself and your own will even harder and more determindely this time. Do you believe that will work any better this time than it did last time? What does your experience tell you?
That was probably the biggest (and hardest) 'old idea' I had to let go of. That I could work harder to stay sober. Maybe I'm weaker than your average bear, but I gave all my effort to staying sober and still failed. It was obvious that I couldn't do it. It turned out to be a blesssing.
I could fully accept that I lacked the power to stay sober. I had to give up. And what happened was that I followed the directions in the BB (with a good sponsor), and I recovered. I haven't had to worry about fighting those cravings for a long time. That obsession was gone in the first few months of working the Steps, and it's never come back.
Something to consider, Least. I'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong or telling you what to do. I'm just saying that I've been stuck in that 'trying really hard/think it through' place, and it didn't work for me. In fact, there is a whole class of alcoholics who wrote the BB and got sober by following the BB, that also found it didn't work. They discuss it at length.
If you can, Least, maybe take a look at your own experience with adding up the cons of drinking and see if that's kept you sober in the past.
Best wishes to you.
Well done on getting through that moment. I just wish you didn't have to struggle so much with it. I hope you know that I care enough about you that I'll risk a little discomfort for both of us. I think I do you a dis-service by patting you on the back instead of telling you what I've learned, based on my own experience.
Originally Posted by least 
To anyone out there fighting cravings - try to remember how much better you'll feel tomorrow if you don't drink today.
Originally Posted by AA Big Book, 1st Ed.
At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
And I had to look at my own experience. I had to add up the evidence from my past. How many times had I tried to use all my willpower to not drink? While I was successful for a while, after a few months I found some trivial reason to drink. How many times had I been to treatment where I learned to identify my triggers, and list the good and bad consequences of drinking or not drinking? Again, I was successful for a while, and then started drinking again.
Each of those attempts and ultimate failures filled me with a new resolve, a new determination to work harder next time, stay more vigilant next time, get more support next time. I think, and I like to think, that working harder will make the difference for me. And it never did. I failed over and over.
It's what I see you doing, Least. Doing that same thing as last time. Applying yourself and your own will even harder and more determindely this time. Do you believe that will work any better this time than it did last time? What does your experience tell you?
That was probably the biggest (and hardest) 'old idea' I had to let go of. That I could work harder to stay sober. Maybe I'm weaker than your average bear, but I gave all my effort to staying sober and still failed. It was obvious that I couldn't do it. It turned out to be a blesssing.
I could fully accept that I lacked the power to stay sober. I had to give up. And what happened was that I followed the directions in the BB (with a good sponsor), and I recovered. I haven't had to worry about fighting those cravings for a long time. That obsession was gone in the first few months of working the Steps, and it's never come back.
Something to consider, Least. I'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong or telling you what to do. I'm just saying that I've been stuck in that 'trying really hard/think it through' place, and it didn't work for me. In fact, there is a whole class of alcoholics who wrote the BB and got sober by following the BB, that also found it didn't work. They discuss it at length.
If you can, Least, maybe take a look at your own experience with adding up the cons of drinking and see if that's kept you sober in the past.
Best wishes to you.
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I have read here of so many people who tried and tried to stay sober and failed over and over til they finally 'got it'. What made their last time drinking different, making it their 'last time'? I don't know, but I do know that this could be my 'last time' falling back into that hole. I choose to believe that, and am grateful to my higher power for giving me the will to not drink. Cause that's what I think it is: my higher power giving me the strength to stay sober, not that it's just one of a history of attempts. I choose to look at it positively, not negatively.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The GREAT White North
Posts: 315
It is a positive thing but I fully agree with keith. I only get/got a release from the constant cravings by taking the next step. By moving on in the program. By doing those steps.
And least, I remember those sitting on my hands, praying my ass off, calling people, reading the Big Book, doing EVERYTHING to get rid of those cravings. You're right they do pass but it is nice to have a life where it isn't so hard to stay sober. That comes from the steps.
xoxo
And least, I remember those sitting on my hands, praying my ass off, calling people, reading the Big Book, doing EVERYTHING to get rid of those cravings. You're right they do pass but it is nice to have a life where it isn't so hard to stay sober. That comes from the steps.
xoxo
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
"That comes from the steps."
If that is truly the case then none of the sober people here who got sober on their own would be sober today. And since there are many people here who got sober on their own, without a face to face 'group', then it must be possible. I am only trying a different approach then I have in the past. And with the help of my higher power I know I can succeed.
If that is truly the case then none of the sober people here who got sober on their own would be sober today. And since there are many people here who got sober on their own, without a face to face 'group', then it must be possible. I am only trying a different approach then I have in the past. And with the help of my higher power I know I can succeed.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The GREAT White North
Posts: 315
Originally Posted by least
"That comes from the steps."
If that is truly the case then none of the sober people here who got sober on their own would be sober today. And since there are many people here who got sober on their own, without a face to face 'group', then it must be possible. I am only trying a different approach then I have in the past. And with the help of my higher power I know I can succeed.
If that is truly the case then none of the sober people here who got sober on their own would be sober today. And since there are many people here who got sober on their own, without a face to face 'group', then it must be possible. I am only trying a different approach then I have in the past. And with the help of my higher power I know I can succeed.
I guess I should have stated "In my opinion....."
:day6
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Least, I think you really struck home with your reference to your higher power. If you recognize that drinking is something you cannot deal with without the help of a higher power, then you're taken a giant step forward. Whether or not you use AA is certainly your choice. I just hope that you're not making that decision just to show everyone that you're right and they're wrong. And I mean no offense here. AA certainly doesn't work for everyone and we all know that. But I've seen too many people turn away from the program without ever seriously trying it. And that means more than just sitting in meetings for 6 months. These are the people who spurn AA, think they can lick the problem by themselves, and are back out drinking in no time. But if you have a solid alternate plan then by all means stick to it if it's working for you. And if you ever decide that your program isn't working any more, you know you have another option available.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by least
And since there are many people here who got sober on their own, without a face to face 'group', then it must be possible
And there are also many hundreds who come on here, post for a bit, and disappear on their own without any step work. That's entirely possible too.
It's why I was directing my post at the truth for you, Least. What is your own experience? Can you stay sober by fighting the cravings and remembering the reasons to not drink? That's all that matters for any of us as individuals.
But, you've decided on a plan and I wish you well with it.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
((Least))
Yeah, I'm with you on trying to figure out what makes a time a "last time"--guess it's something you only can know in retrospect, so I stopped thinking too much about that.
Of course, now I obsessively think about a lot of other stuff that's just as currently useless to me...
Take care of yourself and don't forget stuff you learned--to get through to sober side,
TB, also trying to do the same
Yeah, I'm with you on trying to figure out what makes a time a "last time"--guess it's something you only can know in retrospect, so I stopped thinking too much about that.
Of course, now I obsessively think about a lot of other stuff that's just as currently useless to me...
Take care of yourself and don't forget stuff you learned--to get through to sober side,
TB, also trying to do the same
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Sobriety rocks, no matter what keeps you sober! One big aspect to me of my higher power is the love of my dogs. They love me no matter what (and don't seem to know if the care I give them is good or just adequate). They love me anyway, but since I love them so much I want to give them the best possible life, and that means staying sober since they both have special needs and require careful attention.
So the love of my dogs gives me strength, and that is but one perspective on the unconditional love of my higher power. At any rate, just waking up sober was reward enough for me.
So the love of my dogs gives me strength, and that is but one perspective on the unconditional love of my higher power. At any rate, just waking up sober was reward enough for me.
On my path.
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Home
Posts: 330
Go Least!
Congratulations on making it through a difficult time without using, not an easy thing to do.
I am not an AA person, I have a lot of respect for the program, it's just not for me. I choose yoga, meditation, and reading to keep a balance that doesn't require drinking and the temporary escape that it offers.
Keep it up.
55438
Congratulations on making it through a difficult time without using, not an easy thing to do.
I am not an AA person, I have a lot of respect for the program, it's just not for me. I choose yoga, meditation, and reading to keep a balance that doesn't require drinking and the temporary escape that it offers.
Keep it up.
55438
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Isn't it the best feeling when we make it through those times? I couldn't imagine the cravings would come less & less, but they have. I went from obsessing over drinking/not drinking all day to hardly thinking of it. I can't believe I once built my world around alcohol.
Congratulations, Least, on your triumph yesterday - and thanks for telling us about it.
Congratulations, Least, on your triumph yesterday - and thanks for telling us about it.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Good job Least and a good reminder to all of us.
I am glad you changed your avatar. The just add alcohol one that you used to have and I used to have just doesn't suit us anymore.
Keep it up.
I am glad you changed your avatar. The just add alcohol one that you used to have and I used to have just doesn't suit us anymore.
Keep it up.
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